To think my husband is a fucking fuck!

[maybethedayafter]

I just got the baby to sleep and then FH (Fucking Husband) came in the fucking room and started fucking talking to me. What fucking idiot would think that's a good fucking idea! For fuck sake!

I think I'll do that bear. When DD wakes up for a feed in the night I'll wake him and start talking bollocks about some sport he couldn't give two shits about.

It's a very over the top reaction for somebody talking.

I've not long had my first baby and both me & DH have come in to a room talking on separate occasions- Yes it's a little annoying but no massive deal in the grand scheme of things. These things happen don't they sometimes you just forget

A slight over reaction here I think!

I often walk in to the room not thinking talking when DH has settled our youngest and his done it when I settled them too, yesterday my 15 year old DD woke them up singing.
These things happen with babies in the house, it's not the end of the world!

scooby

I text him to tell him I am DIVORCING him and he texts back with a helpful recipe for chicken soup which apparently will 'only take me 20 minutes to make'.

Does that include catching, slaughtering, drawing and plucking your chicken?

Oh sparkle not everyone has your saintly patience
Feel like throttling mine when he coughs or flushes the loo.

maybe

When DD wakes up for a feed in the night I'll wake him and start talking bollocks about some sport he couldn't give two shits about.

May I suggest Synchronised Swimming? Or Curling? Curling (or "Housework on Ice, as I like to think of it) is always a show-stopper.

Why are you wasting time on here?

Shouldn't you be digging the hole? 😳

I am now living by the rule of 'you wake her, you take her'

Yes it's a little annoying but it doesn't make him an idiot, he didn't set out to wake the baby. With a baby in the house, these things are bound to happen now and then.

It's The Patriarchy what's to blame. He obviously doesn't even regard you as human, the cunt.

I have room underneath my patio. ..I offer a very discreet service. PM me. For you is free.

I think those who consider this an overreaction must have had easy sleepers.

If you woke my pfb at maybe 6-18m (not exaggerating) you were condemning me - and it had to be me - to another hour minimum of bfing/rocking/shushing/ninja creeping. Ten minutes and I'd have been able to eye roll philosophically, but after months and months of severe sleep deprivation I was absolutely murderous.

I'd be so fucked off.
DH has the loudest fucking sneeze in the world. I refuse to believe he can't sneeze more quietly, for some reason he just makes a big song and dance about it. It makes DD jump out of her skin even if he's in a completely different part of the house.

My FH's favourite trick is talking during the dream feed while I'm truth to sleep. Bastard.

That means by default he has to take responsibility for the baby until noon tomorrow and let you sleep.

Mine used to Slam the front door rather than just pull it til it clicked quietly.
Not sure how we are still married because I was a sleep deprived maniac.

I loves my Dh, he's gone away to Ds 1's house to help with DIY and I have one giant bed all to myself to sleep like a starfish.
I can eat rubbish and watch trash on TV with no comments. Dd is in bed and knows not to tell what we've been up to.
However Ds 1 is the reason I perfected the daggers look, that shuts up anyone who dared walk into a room and talk or make any noise, waking the baby.
I do like the rule, you wake her you take her. I should have implemented that one.
DH is back tomorrow,

My DH has a howly yawn. He does it deliberately . He was downstairs and did his yawn and woke DD just as she was dropping off.

I forgot the rule we came up with when Ds2 was born, whoever leaves has to take the kids. We've been together 30 years now. Nuff said.

Haha Squinkies!

Perhaps I should have added (Lighthearted) in the title, although I thought my plethora of fucks would have got the point across.

Have you considered deleting everything he has saved on Tivo?

I used to moan when my DD was in our room that my DH rustled the duvet too loudly, and also asked him to sit down if he went for a wee in the night so he didn't make too much noise! I know how you feel, sleep deprivation makes us a bit bat shit crazy!

Curling - housework on ice

Just you just love it when a poster comes on with an obviously lighthearted OTT post to vent and a load of MNers come on with serious posts and the odd light insult.

You wake them you take them is brilliant!

And did the chicken soup recipe also include 3 other meals you could make with same said chicken?

i would have set him on goddamn fire.

DP likes to crash around the kitchen whistling like a fucking loon while I'm trying to get DD to sleep. She is a really light sleeper, a fact DP seems in complete denial about. He once told me she would sleep through the noise of the Hoover, a statement that has no basis in reality, and if he wanted to test his theory I would have used said Hoover to beat him with.