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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Crap is a swear word

162 replies

IncidentalAnarchist · 16/09/2016 21:08

Yes, a trivial AIBU but help to settle the argument!

I believe that crap is a swear word, albeit on the mild end of swearing

My friend believes it is not.

AIBU to think she is wrong and that crap is a swear word?!

OP posts:
Verbena37 · 17/09/2016 20:11

It's defo not a swear word.
It comes from Thomas Crapper who invented the modern day toilet so just a short version of his name.
I say it all the time and wouldn't dream of telling off my kids for saying it.

I have a friend who treats it as a swear word.....I just don't get it.

mathsmum314 · 17/09/2016 20:51

one day he came out with 'I don't give a fudge'

Exactly, and if you punish them for swearing, all your doing is teaching them that 'fudge' is a bad word and they will use it against you every time they are angry.

If you treat it exactly as it was intended, ie 'to mean I dont care', then your DC will stop using is as soon as that youtube fad passes.

I can't imagine the ammo your giving children to hurt you if you teach them normal words like bloody and crap are punishable.

Historically 'to curse' meant something different, in the 21st century curse words and swearing are synonymous as meaning offensive, which means it is subjective.

DubiousCredentials · 17/09/2016 21:09

Twat is nowhere near as "bad" as cunt Shock It is pretty interchangeable with twit/pratt where I'm from. Maybe it's a regional thing again.

ZanyMobster · 17/09/2016 21:42

Twat is similar where I'm from Dubious but in regions where cunt is not so offensive, twat is.

ZanyMobster · 17/09/2016 21:43

My DCs say crap but I ask them not to say it in the same way as I don't like them saying shut up. They know its not swearing but at 10 & 8 they are old enough to know there are adult and child phrases etc.

WhateverWillBe · 17/09/2016 22:11

Exactly, and if you punish them for swearing, all your doing is teaching them that 'fudge' is a bad word and they will use it against you every time they are angry. If you treat it exactly as it was intended, ie 'to mean I dont care', then your DC will stop using is as soon as that youtube fad passes

I really, really disagree. Dependent on age.

If you have a 2 or 3 year old that overhears and then drops the f bomb (or a 'fudge' equivalent when used in the context of swearing) and repeats it because it's funny due to the reactions they're getting - yeah, you ignore it. You can't reason to that extent with a 3 year old. Say nothing, they forget.

Ds1 is 8...by far old enough to understand consequences if he misbehaves. I don't swear in front of the kids and neither does dh. In general, swearing isn't eloquent or expressive. It's vulgar and usually indicates a lack of vocab IMO. And is very unpleasant to hear from dc. And yeah, I swear on mn...sometimes a written 'fuck' is highly expressive...but I don't (or rarely do) in RL.

Ds1 knows we don't accept swearing. At all. And if he suddenly started cursing all over the place I wouldn't simply wait for it to pass, any more than I would if he started throwing his dinner on the floor when he's given it or displaying any other type of behaviour which we think is unacceptable.

Catsize · 17/09/2016 22:19

It's swearing. I would be mortified if my young children said it. Although I saw a parent not even blink when her 6yr old came out with 'fucking hell' at the park today.

MrsDc7 · 17/09/2016 22:21

Yes... crap is a swear word xx

Artandco · 17/09/2016 22:22

No not here

Lots mentioned here I wouldn't consider swear words

Like Dh this evening said some some cheesecake was 'bloody amazing'. Is that swearing? To me it's a compliment.

CharleyDavidson · 17/09/2016 23:34

The word crap did not originate from Thomas Crapper. Nor did he invent the flushing toilet. He did invent improvements to the toilet (different types of ballcock) but not the flushing toilet itself.

The word crap comes from much earlier, medieval English. Possibly from the old French word Crappe - which means waste or from the dutch word Krappen.

mathsmum314 · 17/09/2016 23:40

I think what this thread has hit upon is a 'class' issue. Some people are trying to use language to separate themselves from the 'common man' using language.

Words are being classed 'swear' words' for no reason other than its what working class people use.

Bum, crap, bloody... seriously if I was the queen I would ban them and execute anyone who uses them.

grumpysquash3 · 18/09/2016 00:03

There is a difference (to me at least) between a DC saying

"that game's crap, what a waste of money"

versus

"I need a crap"

The first is an adjective meaning rubbish, the second a noun meaning poo. Somehow the second one is much worse to me, especially if it's a young child.

Neither is technically swearing, but not polite either!

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 18/09/2016 00:19

Nah. There are loads of "swear words" I wouldn't consider swearing though.

Crap, arse, shite, damn, bloody, prat, dick, bollocks.

Cunt, fuck, twat etc are swearing and I'd try and stamp it out if DD said it.

The others... I'd encourage her not to say them around older people or in polite company, and not to use them deliberately to offend, but they're just words. We're the ones that give the words this power over us, they aren't magically naughty words.

pennefabredux · 18/09/2016 01:34

YABU with crap. Although, when growing up suck was considered a major no-no.

Today: Damn, shit, fuck, hell not considered bad. But Jesus is taboo.

kali110 · 18/09/2016 01:37

I don't, parents yes

Catsize · 18/09/2016 09:05

To those of you who say that crap, bloody, shite etc are not swear words, would you use them if giving evidence in court? If not, why not? Obviously it's different if you are asked to say what someone else said any they used such language.

Rachcakes · 18/09/2016 09:16

In court, I often hear witnesses say: "I told him to eff off"
And the lawyer cross examining them will ask them if they really told them to F off, and if not to use the right words.

Sallystyle · 18/09/2016 09:25

It's a swear word.

My mum would tell me off if I used it (I am 35)

My older children say crap and I don't care at all, they just know not to say it around my mum Grin

Catsize · 18/09/2016 09:27

That's fine rach - as I said (with a typo), quoting direct speech is fine.
In my experience, witnesses are often reluctant to do that as they don't want to swear in court.
It is very rare to hear someone say something like 'What he did was totally shite and then he came up with a crap excuse about why he did it. Mind you, he bloody well deserved it in some ways'. If anyone does talk like that, the judge warns them about their language.

MissDuke · 18/09/2016 09:59

Wow this notion of 'intention to swear' is a new one on me Hmm

All of my children do this, ranging from 'oh seaweeds' to 'oh fudge' to 'oh chitterbums'. It is just a silly thing they started a while back to see who could come up with the silliest, I had no idea that this was still considered swearing by some Grin I guess then they are extremely foul mouthed, much like the op herself...

Mycraneisfixed · 18/09/2016 10:03

Crap, shit and fart are "rude words"
That's how I explain it to children. Certain words may not be swear words but they're rude and you (child) shouldn't use them.
Of course they'll use those words among their friends but not in front of adults.

Statelychangers · 18/09/2016 10:10

It's a swear word. I'm very fond of swear words but I'd be surprised if someone used it in a formal, professional situation and so I wouldn't be advising my kids to use it in front of their teachers.

Statelychangers · 18/09/2016 10:12

What's wrong with bum - that surely is not a swear word? I hate bottom though, sounds so twee.

Balletgirlmum · 18/09/2016 10:18

In our family (two aspie children so rules need to be clear & unambiguous) it is a swear word because they would be disciplined at school fording it.

Now they are both s contrary age they are starting to learn the distinction between words they are allowed to use within our immediate family (crap is one of them) & words they can't use at school.

Balletgirlmum · 18/09/2016 10:19

Secondary age