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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

can't be ar$ed to go to BILs wedding

51 replies

Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 07:42

its going to be looooong and boring and am also pissed off that they've chosen the frigging kid she nannies for as the bridesmaid, not my incredible adorable dd.

Food not good either. oh and kids menu is the usual shite.

so

AIBU???

OP posts:
percypig · 04/02/2007 07:53

Depends on what your dh/dp thinks - assuming that BIL is his brother, will it cause problems if you don't go? If it's a family thing I think you just need to bite the bullet and put up with a few hours of boredom. Also, sounds as if you don't really get on with the bride to be, or at least don't have too much in common - maybe why they didn't choose your dd as bridesmaid. If she was you'd have to be more involved - this way maybe you can slip away early.

taylormama · 04/02/2007 07:53

yes a little bit - ok maybe it won't be a great day but would not going would cause more issues? Also, it is a close family member not a second cousin twice removed which i would totally say don't go to ...

SturdyAngel · 04/02/2007 07:53

Hmmmm, think the long & boring bit is pretty standard..... as for your DD not being bridesmaid

Children's food, can you tell BIL your DD won't eat any of the processed shite available and ask for an adults meal for her? Failing that, take a plate with you and take a bit off yours & DH's plate to make her a meal.

Original poster
Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 07:57

its boooooooring

and SIL is bridezilla

actuallly I will go, just fed up with the whole thing

oh we are not allowed to do the obvious and order an adult meal and spilt it between the kids. this, apparently, will cost too much

oh and PIL took (30 yo) BIL home halfway through our wedding cos they were worried he had an essay to finish. as they had our housekeys by arrangement, this meant us locked out of our house (where reception was) for 1 1/2 hours , in pissing rain.

Am just pissed off really and ranting.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 07:57

can I take a book, do you think?

OP posts:
Pruni · 04/02/2007 08:15

Message withdrawn

northerner · 04/02/2007 08:17

You are being unreasonable. It's your dh's wedding. Of course you should go.

And of course it is expensive to order an adults meal for kids.

Chips and nuggets won't kill them you know.

northerner · 04/02/2007 08:18

dh'd brothers wedding, not dh's wedding!!! I wouldn't be telling you to go to that!

compo · 04/02/2007 08:21

how often does she see your dd?
presumably she sees her mindee most days so I don't think it's that unreasonable for her to be a bridesmaid tbh

Original poster
Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 08:23

But my dd is ADORABLE

Of course she should be the bridesmaid. Of course

(god I was so hoping for someone to say "no, filly, you are being utterly reasonable, weddings are boring, go to the flicks instead. Ah well )

what if I just read in the boring bits of the service?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 08:25

lol prune

there was some talk of it being a Childfree wedding.

Which would have given me a great excuse to strop off (not that I especially mind-I think Childfree Wdeeings are kind of weird but hey, their day-but MIL doesn't have to know that, does she? )

OP posts:
Troutpout · 04/02/2007 08:35

Much as i'd like to get you out of it filly.... (i am not the most eager wedding goer) I think you may have to grin and bear this one...it is your brothers brother afterall

Original poster
Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 08:41

they last spoke about a year ago

its a 2 day affair, ffs

OP posts:
Freckle · 04/02/2007 08:49

Borrow a Gameboy or DS, but remember to turn the sound down at quiet moments .

Original poster
Fillyjonk · 04/02/2007 09:02
Grin
OP posts:
Troutpout · 04/02/2007 11:38

you have my sympathies... but you've got to go...othewise they'll all hate you

MrsBadger · 04/02/2007 11:46

weddings are boring ut you have to go

I can recommend a nice walk round the church in the fresh air with dd rather than sitting in the service though - sit at the back, watch them come in then leg it.

If challenged say dd needed the loo / was threatening to scream with boredom etc. If you can leave pushchair with drinks, snacks, novels etc somewhere outside and then go and retrieve it so much the better...

Then at the reception smile sweetly, kiss the bride, eat their food (it's free even if it's not great), drink their booze then slope off early because dd is tired.

Job done.

Caligula · 04/02/2007 11:50

Take some smoked salmon sandwiches for the kids.

And wear something with pockets so that you can sneak a book in behind the service sheets.

hunkermunker · 04/02/2007 11:54

Is there a law that says there can only be one bridesmaid?

Put the children in jeans.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2007 11:58

YABU DABU DO.

Go, get pissed. Give DD some felt tip pens to play with. And, sing very loudly, and off key in church

amidaiwish · 04/02/2007 12:00

i'm with mrsbadger - good plan.

and tbh if you don't see them regularly (dh only sees his brother 1x year?) then i wouldn't have asked your dd to be bridesmaid either. maybe she has a much stronger relationship with the girl she nannies for than your dd.

Freckle · 04/02/2007 12:25

I would take the ignoring my dd as bridesmaid as a deliberate snub, I'm afraid. She could have more than one bridesmaid and, as the do is over 2 days, they are hardly strapped for cash.

If your dh and his db haven't spoken for a while, it could have been the perfect ice-breaker and also a nice gesture from the bride-to-be. That they haven't done this is rather telling.

TooTicky · 04/02/2007 13:10

Filly, you are being perfectly reasonable. Why sully a perfectly good day? Tell the truth or make up an excuse, whichever takes your fancy

Really, I mean it. Things like that give me tummy ache.

Pruni · 04/02/2007 13:29

Message withdrawn

bran · 04/02/2007 13:38

Load an audio book onto your ipod, wear a big, floppy hat to hide it and just smile and nod for the whole day. I sympathise because I don't like weddings much either, especially on dh's side of the family.