Honest answers needed

[Bonny1980]

There was a post on FB from a friend / more of an acquaintance earlier of 20 professional looking perfectly styled photos of their new kitchen dining extension, detailing how hard and incredibly stressful not to mention messy the building process had been, and a follow up post and pic of the couple chinking their prosecco with their 2 perfect angels in their arms, insert "team family name lots of hashtags new beginnings can't wait to put the Christmas decorations up" etc.

Then the instant likes and comments that ran up to hundreds. Omg it's amaze you should be so proud blah blah. Sorry but isn't it just showing off as we used to say at school in the 80's? It just doesn't seem real, it's like being presented with a glossy brochure and you'll never get to know the real person under all the peacocking. I don't seem to meet real people any more, you chat at the school gates and they seem nice and genuine, then they turn into caricatures of themselves online and I am seriously losing hope that there are other people out there who don't want to talk all day about new kitchens and wallpaper, cars, holidays, who don't want the undertones of competing over everything all the times.

Tell me is it real? Is that what it's all about for you? Maybe it's just where we're living, we seem to be in a bit of a stepford wives (and husbands and children) identikit community round here. This is the norm here, and then presenting it all polished on Facebook. Is it like that everywhere else and is this just the norm now? I don't know if I'm just old before my time because I do sound like my Gran, maybe I just need to get used to it and try not to get so frustrated by the competing and consumerism, because I can't seem to meet anyone else not following the latest trends and trying to live the perfect life round here or online from what I see. It's really bothering me for some reason. Anyone else?

The only time I have ever seen hashtags on Facebook is when people are posting from Instagram and it posts it on FB as well.

I don't know anyone who hashtags, purely for Facebook.

They might be fishing for approval but then, so are you OP by posting your disdain on MN and inviting people to join in.

Posting a picture of your new kitchen -v- judging everyone on your "friends" on social media...

I know which one I think is worse!

In my own experience, it's the people who are the braggiest and #soblessed on FB that are having the shit ties to times. I know several are on antidepressants, feel trapped in loveless marriages, have severe PND, money worries etc. but there they are, posting about 'living [their] best lives'. One insufferable woman used to post loads of 'treats' her DH bought her (complete with #spoiled #luckygirl). Later it transpired they were all his 'apologies' for every time he hit her.

It grates sometimes when people are braggy, but if it makes them feel better and more able to cope, so be it. I get more out of posting funny stuff, often at my own expense ('idiotic things Rhoda does, number 769:' etc), but each to their own.

Perhaps having her kitchen done really is the highlight of this woman's life at the moment. When you think of it that way it feels a little bit sad, no?

*shittiest not shit ties to

I dont have facebook for this exact reason.

They're seeking approval for their decisions online, you're seeking approval for your opinions on line - it's all just people communicating with one another about the things that they are interested in at any given moment, not a symptom of anything in particular.

I don't mind it as long as it's balanced - like, here's the amazing cake I made, aren't I awesome - then, look at these wonky trousers I tried to take up myself haha!. I will post an achievement of DS but equally I post about the iced tea I spilled on my trousers that looked like wee just before my doctors appointment
It isn't bad that they are having a little brag as long as that's not all they do. I do see where you are coming from with the fakeness though, it is harder to make new genuine friends and marry the real life them with the FB them.

I deleted Facebook around 2yrs ago now for this kind of reason. It's not called BragBook for nothing!

I don't miss it at all.

I like seeing things like that on Facebook. Don't think it bragging, it's interesting

Take it all with a huge pinch of salt OP & unfollow them. I also think they sound like twats.
You only get to see the good times with people like that, you never see people "checking in" at crack dens, when they fall on hard times

This message prompted me to sign up just so I could respond.
it sounds like the family really did work hard and are very proud of their new extension - my response is good for them!! If you don't like it, unfriend them! I have plenty of fb friends that I simply click "unfollow" (which removes the drama of an un-friend). But good for them if they've worked hard and achieved something, why not shown it off?! And who cares if their home life isn't as perfect as social media portrays? Unless it's hurting you why is it a big deal?! Either be happy for them or delete. Otherwise it sounds like bitter jealousy. A lot more people post a lot worse things.
Rant over

I put both negative and positive things on my Facebook-when I post which isn't often.Thinking about it, actually I think the most liked thing I ever put on there was a post about the incredibly awful morning I had just had with dd when she was tiny.Although maybe most people thought I was being ironic-which I wasn't! I was genuinely fucked off!
I post pictures of the kids-mostly so exh can see what we are up to (in a nice, not a stalky way).
If I had a new kitchen I'd probably stick that up there as Id be happy about it and my friends would be happy for me.
That said I know a mum from school who is constantly (as in two or three times daily),putting up pictures of herself, (always duck facing which is not a good look on her),her husband and kids with nauseating captions. It just makes her look a berk. The kids are lovely looking in real life but she will often post what seems to be an average or poor photo of them with #stunningbeauty or similar.I don't know-it just sort of creeps me out and makes me feel sorry for the kids somehow.

I think 20 professional photos is definitely showing off, a lot of stuff on FB is showing off, a lot is self obsessed, yes for a lot of people now it's the norm with social media, but you have to either accept it and put up with it, or unfollow the worst offenders - or if you don't have anyone left on there after that who doesn't wind you up delete FB altogether.

I think the people saying it's not showing off are the ones posting all that stuff. It's all about getting likes and comments, if you didn't get any there'd be no point posting those types of photos, basically it's a need to either be popular or yeah just show off. If nobody liked or commented on the photos there'd be no point posting them.

For what it's worth to those with young children, my daughter is now 8 and asked me not to put any pics of her on FB without her consent and to delete the old embarrassing ones!

Team /family name/ made me howl!!!

Mute them. Or unfollow. Whatever they call it on FB. They'll never know.

(I can't stand FB, I only keep it for the messenger thingy)

I'm not on facebook - tried it for a bit when it was a novelty, but it was just far too much info on other people's lives which I don't need. My brain is full enough already with my the details of my own life. Plus, a relative would put on photos of things she'd crocheted and really life is too short for that sort of thing.

The way people get offended about things on facebook, or feel upset because of things on Facebook, or fall out with people etc etc etc - it all sounds a bit invasive and insidious to me.

Some people are genuinely proud of their success and achievement. They've put in hard work and they shouldn't be ashamed to show it off.
But some others constantly boast because of their insecurities. The brighter the light the bigger the shadow behind it.

I find it strange that people are happy to boast on FB in a way that they would never do face to face. Bragging about your DCs school report or how clever and talented they are would not happen at the school gate but from the comfort of a keyboard it's a regular occurrence. Showing off your amazing husband, house or lifestyle is ok online but not many do this IRL.

It's like everyone is caught up in self promotion acting like a PR for themselves and their family together with a bit of keeping up appearances.

It isn't boasting! It's telling your friends and family what you are up to just as you would do in person if they didn't live so bloody far away/work such long hours! I don't care about likes, I out photos up so I have a back up as I'm a bit useless with that otherwise. I put negative stuff up too, but since a lot of it is for my benefit so I can remember it later (using the On This Day feature) I mostly stick to nice.
And I've ly ever heard it called Bragbook by people like those on the thread who don't seem to like their friends and family having a nice time. It's a bit weird, that, if you think about it. Nobody I consider a friend would brag/boast, so that isn't what is happening with their posts. If your friends do, you need new friends.

But people do 'brag' in real life! In the office, other places of work, to friends while chatting, so many ways. If I had a new kitchen fitted i'd likely tell my mum, my sister, my friends, people I work with, it's just a topic of conversation! If you never tell anyone about things that are going well for you or have made you feel happy or proud for fear of being seen as vain then I feel sorry for you! - it's not really bragging is it? Just conversation, telling your friends you have a new kitchen and are chuffed to bits with it. I can't honestly see what is wrong with that, yes it's vain to constantly post selfies but that is not the case here is it?

Not aimed at you cardbach, I am agreeing with you

I have lots of people posting about their new car/kitchen/jacuzzi/pool/horse/home on my FB. I like to see these posts and feel happy for the people making them. I don't see it as bragging at all. Likewise, I love to see videos of babies taking their first steps etc. What I don't like is the hashtags of #workathomemummy #workfromhomewomen #extraincome #food #shoes #swimminglessons #smallbusiness #networkmarketingmummy #providingformyfamilyathome.

I posted various photos of our our new house today. Of people think I'm bragging then that's fine, I'm just excited to be moving to the coast!