AIBU to think that this is not a 'bad' word

[Idontneedanotherhero]

I use the word 'flipping' quite a lot, for example: 'flipping heck I've dropped my keys', or 'where on earth is that flipping hat' - you get the idea. DH was putting DD (3) to bed earlier and her pillow fell off the bed. 'Oh no, my flipping pillow has fallen off!' says she. DH very upset with me, says it is awful to hear words like that coming from her mouth! I can't really see the problem! Opinions please....

Calm down now Paul. That response is unacceptable. Just use you pleasant words.

Don't be so obtuse (or ignorant?) Foxes. That is not what I said. In fact, my post way about children voicing frustration instead of using a quick fix i.e. using one word that is in place of a swear word, instead of explaining their frustration.

Well that was a bit of an ott reaction Foxes

Paul

Why is it ok for you to express frustration using whatever words you like but your children can't! This is the most bizarre, weird and fucked up thing I've seen on MN in ages!

Foxes makes the point excellently.

They are voicing their frustration by saying 'flipping' which is in no way swearing.

You've got to love MN.

Posters leaping from "we don't like swearing or swearing replacements" directly to "these people are raising unhealthily repressed children forbidden from expressing frustration".

Really guys, the English language is a wonderful and varied thing. It is entirely possible to express frustration/anger/or pain without ever using "flipping, heck, sugar etc"

It's really not difficult.

Are they meant to say. "Mummy I'm finding my pillow very irritating as it is refusing to stay on my bed."

Really guys, the English language is a wonderful and varied thing. It is entirely possible to express frustration/anger/or pain without ever using "flipping, heck, sugar etc"

Very true. Fucking, hell and shit are far more satisfying.

Paul so grown up, (supposedly) mature adults can swear at will to express frustration.....but small children are expected to calmly distill their feelings of frustration and, despite having far less vocabulary, articulate their emotions in a careful and considered manner. What utter bollocks.

Next you'll be telling us that you require your children to walk around with books on the heads to demonstrate their deportment and wear stiff, starched collars whilst you slob on the sofa in your pjs!

Oh bugger off Outtaker. I don't see what's so wrong with pointing out that a child saying it out of frustration isn't that great and they should word said frustration?

So instead of saying "the flipping pillow" you expect them to say "I am cross that the pillow has landed on the floor"? Oh wow, why? What world do you live in?

Oh damn (sorry rude word alert) my previous post was meant to be a quote in the first para. I wish we could edit posts for clarity.

Neither obtuse or ignorant (not sure how you'd figure that did you say that because ignorant is offensive?). I was mocking your attitude by applying your theory on your response.

I can only presume you mean your first reaction was ott. No clue how mine was; you said 'bugger off' in a shocking quick fix display of frustration

alibongo

Because it's so completely and utterly unnatural to express frustration in such an uptight and considered way!

As an adult I understand my frustration and why I'm using a word. I can't really see what's wrong with expecting no, encouraging, children who are still getting to grips with emotions to voice them, whether it anger, happiness, sadness, frustration etc. It's something that people always talk about; children talking about their feelings etc

I wasn't arguing with anyone, nor was I saying that the OP was wrong. I was just giving my opinion

I could understand the concern if she had said "mother fucking cunting pillow" and then stabbed it, but I'm not sure that flipping would even raise an eyebrow

alibongo

Just read follow up post... we seem to agree!

Anyway, I'm out. I was just giving my opinion (like the op wanted) in a polite manner. My comments are being jumped upon and definitely being twisted.

No ones twisting your words Paul, people are disagreeing with your opinion. Plus you definitely weren't polite you used bad words. Also some of the words you chose to use didn't make sense.

What's ironic is growing up being controlled by double standards is frustrating. Blooming frustrating.

I constantly say things like "sugar!" Instead of shit! Or "oh broomsticks!" In frustration instead of actually swearing in front of the DC. Thanks to this thread I now realise this is wrong and will stop using words to show frustration

"Minced oath": great, now I know what they are called!

I've taught my kids that these words which clearly replace other, more offensive words are slightly offensive. Second-tier swear words, if you like.

Some conservative people don't like to hear young children using even these milder forms of swearing. Our own family don't mind "flipping", but it was handy for the kids to know that the elderly neighbour whom they adored preferred not to hear them say it.

Foxes there are all sorts of things which are inappropriate for children which are entirely appropriate for adults. "double standards"
Is an odd way to view it.

It's hardly double standards not to want your kids to swear.

Agree with you Foxes.

We weren't allowed to swear at all when I was a child, and I never remember hearing anybody swear. As a result my sister started inventing her own swear words starting when she was 2 or 3. Literally made up words, not preexisting words used to mean something else.
Apparently it's a human instinct to vocalize certain frustrations in this way... at least, for my sister it is.

Flip just reminds me of Moss from the IT Crowd; "What the flip are you looking at? Think this is funny? You think this is some kind of mother flipping joke? Mother flippers think everything is a mother flipping joke. Let me tell you, the jokey ain't no jokey sucker!"

Didn't recent studies show that people who swear have wider vocabularies and are more intelligent. Fuck yeah!

Foxes there are all sorts of things which are inappropriate for children which are entirely appropriate for adults. "double standards"
Is an odd way to view it.

It's hardly double standards not to want your kids to swear.

Is this wilful misunderstanding? The double standard is telling a small child, and enforcing the rule, that they cannot vocalise a frustration with single (words like flipping) at all whilst swearing like a trooper yourself.

Double standards exist. There certainly things inappropriate to children that are appropriate for adult: like sex, that's an special adult only thing, there's a sensible reason why too.

Swearing doesn't come into the category, if you don't want your child to swear, don't swear yourself swearing isn't particularly 'appropriate' for adults anyway. The double standard I pointed out isn't even about no wanting a chi,d to swear it's about think you should use words like fuck to express frustration but a child should say 'heck. It's not an 'odd' way to view it: it's double standard. Just like telling your child they can't use screens but being on one yourself very frequently is a double standard - this is different from regulating your child's tablets and computer use and only using them yourself at regulated times also. (Children do notice and hear these things no matter how secretive you feel you're being.)

Do as I say, not as I do.