Sad for the little girl

[HoppityFrogs]

So, I'm in the swimming pool cafe and a family behind me are having lunch with a child who is either pre school or part time reception She's not eating the rest of her lunch, she's being shouted at and told that her daddy will smack her and that they will tell miss xxxx who will tell her that she is being naughty.
Her fruit has all gone, so they have said and they are now trying to encourage her to eat cake.

Poor child :(

What a horrid mother. Fancy threatening a child into eating. Maybe the child wasn't hungry.

I wouldn't want to eat with someone shouting at me. I don't believe in threatening kids with other people anyhow like the policeman. you should be able to parent them yourself. others have said its a snippet but if someone can act like that in public makes you wonder about behind closed doors.....

Me too Cancelly. And my parents were especially like this with me at meal times. I had such a phobia of mealtimes because my mum and dad would take it in turns to shout at me. They used to feed me lots of junk food too that used to make me ill (I've since discovered that I'm allergic to a few e-numbers that are often present in the things that I didn't want to eat. I had a constant migraine when I was little). They thought that I was being fussy, so I'd get screamed at.They didn't know any better I suppose.

Still, I'm now a well rounded sort so it did me no long term damage! Funny thing is, they did love me and I fully knew that, they just had some fucked up model of parenting stuck in their heads.

behind* not being.

As a child it scared the shit out of me when my mum used to say she would tell my dad about something I'd done wrong when he got home from work.

We used to get hit and I seriously thought he would smack me when she said it.

My mum is no longer alive and I'm no contact with 'd' father. Happy days

Poor child though OP, really not on as a parent to say that.

Fucking hell.

Could you be any more judgemental?

Could you be any more judgemental?

A while back I overheard a mum in our village shouting and swearing at her son, telling him to shut up or she'd "kick him in the balls".

I feel really bad for being so judgemental about her now

Why are they making a monster out if the poor teacher. Honestly!!!!.

Not just the OP, Arranged. Other posters are having a lovely time sitting in judgement and sharing their superior parenting methods.

"If I found myself saying stuff like that to either of my two I'd be taking myself to the doctors. Whether that be 'a snippet of my day' or not."

Because of course everyone in the midst of mental illness has the perspective and ability to seek out help. There is some horrible judgement going on here even though it's awful that horrible things are done to children. I just don't see how all the virtue signalling here helps those children or their mothers.

I really wish they'd make it completely illegal to smack children.

I'd feel sorry for her too OP.

Me too windsmills.

What utter crap. A snippet, mum might be having a bad day. How many snippets of horrible-ness should a child be expected to go through. It's always trotted out, it's bollocks.

I agree with the smacking comment and just don't comprehend the logic of trying to get a child to behave/listen/follow instructions by threatening them with violence. I've spent 10 years teaching the DCs about personal space, kind hands and all that. To smack them would be to undermine every lesson they've ever learned from me.

The rest is not so bad, though I also don't like the "I'll tell so-and-so" thing either because as the parent you just need to deal with stuff there and then. My Mum always threatened us with "I'll tell your Dad when he gets home" because she had no clue what to do to stop us being dicks. Immediate sanctions would have worked so much better.

Yeah, I judge people who hit their children. Which these people obviously do as they wouldn't use that threat otherwise.

Yes, it's a snippet, a snippet of someone being really unpleasant by threatening a child with violence.

Still, nothing like minimising violence against children, just as long as no-one's judging. Fucks sake.

It really doesn't matter how bad someones day is, threatening a child with physical violence (and possibly carrying it through) is disgusting and unacceptable. If the woman had no qualms over saying this in public she obviously doesn't think it's wrong, and it's also worrying to think what the response would be from her if the child did something worse than refusing to eat something.

My dm was funny about me not eating. She tipped a bowl of tomato soup over my head when I was a toddler (I remember it vividly) she also talks about it and says that the hv really told her off. To this day I've never ever eaten tomato soup or a raw tomato. Me and dsis also had to sit at the table until we'd eaten the disgusting burnt Sunday dinner every week. So we would just sit there all day. Our parents didnt sit at the dining table with us they ate in the living room so dsis and I would have to take our plates in to them to show we'd eaten it. After a while we worked out that we could just put it in kitchen roll and flush it down the downstairs loo. I was very tall and underweight to the point that the GP threatened to contact ss. Whereas dsis filled up on sweets and cheese and was overweight. I hadnt even tried a baked bean or most veg until I was at uni.
When it comes to my dc and food I quite literally do the opposite of whatever my dm did. She was a great dm overall but the whole mealtime approach, looking back as an adult, she got it so wrong. I think some parents aren't trying to be mean; they're just so preoccupied with needing to get their dc to eat that they forget that 'by any means' is just not the way.

My two year old wouldn't eat lunch the other day. I took it away without comment. A couple of hours later he started vomiting - turned out he had a tummy bug so no wonder he didn't want to eat. I know it's really frustrating when children won't eat things they normally do and it can get stressful, but threatening them with a smack is just unforgivable.

I don't think it is so much being judgmental of the mother as being empathetic to the child.

We've all had our terrible parenting moments, but this sounds more like entrenched behaviour

I once lay in a bed in the gynaecology emergency ward, waiting for an operation to remove a (very, very wanted but unfortunately ectopic) pregnancy and end my ability to conceive naturally.
The couple in the next bay were foul to their 5-6 year old daughter for the best part of two hours, the worst point was when they said that if she didn't behave dad would leave them...he then went for a fag and the little girl was running after him sobbing and panicking "Please daddy, don't go, don't go, I'll be good, please don't go". And they didn't reassure her at all, just told her it was her fault if he went away. Then laughed about her misunderstanding.

Some parents are just massive bellends.

Some parents are just massive bellends.

Sadly yes.

Perspicacia sorry that happened to you, and secondly, yes that poor child. I also sincerely hope that the dad doesnt ever actually leave because that little girl may always believe that it was her fault