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AIBU?

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Boys school football team should have boys in??

125 replies

plastique · 13/09/2016 20:58

So son has come home from school, disappointed not to get in the yr 8 school football team. Ok fair enough, there must be better players than him.... Well that's life move on etc!!! Oh no that's not the case. Two girls are in the boys football team.. Fair enough too if boys are allowed in girls football team... But oh no girls only... Trying to teach equality etc but this goes against everything!! Thoughts please....

OP posts:
MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 14/09/2016 06:51

Forgot to make the top paragraph bold ^

neonrainbow · 14/09/2016 06:51

You can all go on about mixed teams not relevant here, op had said theres a boys team and a girls team. It's not fair for boys to be excluded from a boys team to make way for girls who have their own specific opportunities in the ops town.

BigGreenOlives · 14/09/2016 06:53

Locally one of the mixed junior schools limits the number of boys in the netball team as the otherwise it would be all boys.

InfiniteCurve · 14/09/2016 07:03

Me

DoreenLethal · 14/09/2016 07:03

If I saw a girl playing against me at that age I'd slide tackle her into next week you play with the boys expect to be tackled like a boy

And this is why we have a problem in the first place.

InfiniteCurve · 14/09/2016 07:06

Whoops,sorry ,slip of the finger... MeAndMy3LovelyBoys,I think the common assumption here is that the girls in the boys team are probably there because they are better than the overall standard of the girls ream - they are in the boys team so they can play at the level they are at.
So not that they failed to get into the girls team.
But we don't know for sure...

lampygirl · 14/09/2016 07:07

I would almost certainly suggest it was a case that they were too good for the average ability in the girls team and so got put with the boys. When I was at school, I was told to reign it in on a number of occasions because many girls in hockey/football weren't at the same level and me running rings round them would put them off participating. Obviously this meant I wasn't playing to my full potential unless I took on the boys. Even now at 27 I play my sport in a womens team and also a men's team (technically an open team) and despite the men being lower in their league system the level of play is higher as they are faster and stronger and playing against them is helping me improve faster than playing only womens would. I always feel I have to work doubly hard to earn my place on the men's squad.

Maybe your DS needs to work on improving his game so he's better than a couple of the other players so he can earn his place in what I imagine is a select representative team for the school rather than a fun after school club.

ReginaBlitz · 14/09/2016 07:15

Who is to say he would have got on the team anyway? Tbf if he was amazing he would have? They may have two girls but the rest are boys he didn't get picked he can't blame anyone! My daughter used to be the only girl on a local team and she was the best player there. Just because you are a boy doesn't automatically make you good at football.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 14/09/2016 07:21

Firsttimedaddy83 would try to hurt a girl because she played on your football team?! WHat on Earth?
OP it sounds like this is just a football team based on ability. I don't think men get a particularly bad deal in the world of football and I'm sure there are other teams your son can try out for

CocktailQueen · 14/09/2016 07:25

In England girls can play in a football team until the end of Year 5, and then they have to move to a girls' team. That's what happens in ds's league.

They shouldn't be playing in the same team as boys in Year 9. OP, can your dc have a word with the PE teacher and ask why they've allowed this? Does seem unfair.

cosytoaster · 14/09/2016 07:26

YANBU - it's simply not fair.

CocktailQueen · 14/09/2016 07:28

Isttimedaddy - If I saw a girl playing against me at that age I'd slide tackle her into next week you play with the boys expect to be tackled like a boy

Well, that's a lovely attitude to teach your dc, isn't it? So, if you had a girl, you'd be happy with some boy doing this? Hmm Do you feel a little threatened by women, eh?

JemimaMuddledUp · 14/09/2016 07:33

Big we have the same with the primary schools hockey league. Only 3 boys from each team can be on the pitch at any time. Which means boys are subbed more frequently than girls. Otherwise the team would be predominantly boys and girls would be discouraged.

DavidWainwrightsFeet · 14/09/2016 07:36

Agggressive tackle against an opponent who happens to be female because that's the appropriate thing to do at that moment in the game? Fine
Aggressive tackle not called upon by the tactics of the game at the time motivated by prejudice against your opponent? Red card offence and also vile.

sashh · 14/09/2016 07:39

Has your son tried for the girls team? Is there an actual ban?

If there is a ban is there a reason, such as some girls are good enough (can't think of a better phrase) to play on the 'boys' team but if they let boys try out for the girls team would it be full of boys who are not good enough for the boys team but better than the girls leaving only the best girls with an opportunity to play?

phillipp · 14/09/2016 07:43

The only way this would be fair is if it was a mixed team. Just one mixed team.

Or a girls only team and a boys only team. And perhaps a mixed one as well.

My Dd competes in a different sport against boys. I expect them to to treat her as an opponent and no different because she is a girl. I am sure Most people expect that.

Amandahugandkisses · 14/09/2016 07:45

1sttimedaddy

What a disturbing attitude you have towards women.

cherryplumbanana · 14/09/2016 07:46

LaurieFairyCake what a lot of absolute nonsense your ramble on.

Seriously? Feel totally safe wandering about in that bikini? Or hijab? Or being fat or thin? Or going for a run?

what does it have anything to do with male/female? hijab or turban wearers are as much as risk of assault, nothing to do with female gender. There are statistically more male victims of physical racist attacks than females.
Not safe for run? Boys are just as risk of being mugged and being beaten up.

No one hassle you ever just for having the audacity to be female and moving about in the world ? hmm
Confused Obviously not, I don't even understand what you mean here.

Happy with that equal pay you won't get til 2065?
I am the highest pay member of my team and the only female. All the companies I work for and with (city of London) pay based on jobs and results only, couldn't care less about the gender. You will "lose out" if you take months away from your role, because it would be outrageously unfair towards people who don't. It's not discrimination, it's common sense.

Fight any unfair case by all means, but I wish women could lose the "I am a victim attitude" in this country. It's so damaging, we are not special fragile snowflakes but people like you are bringing us down.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 14/09/2016 07:49

Meandmy3boys. Fewer girls participate in team competitive sport than boys. There may well have been an active choice to take steps to encourage a change. I think this is a good idea and something that should be encouraged.

In the wider community there are fewer girls teams and fewer training hours. If in this individual school, the girls get equal or better opportunities this should be applauded and emulated.

runslikethewind · 14/09/2016 07:53

Lauriefairycake
I agree with the poster who said she didn't feel disadvantaged being a female.
The examples you describe above, it isn't a social norm to wander around in swimwear, hijabs are a cultural issue, body issues affect everyone not just females and I have ran for 15 years mostly lone, being female has never been an issue.
If I wanted to travel alone, I would I would just be as careful as everyone would and equal pay is an issue, but change can take a long time, but it is happening, and I can't make it go faster and I've managed so far.
These issues aren't to do with me being female but others being arses and behaving inappropriately which is the issue that needs addressing. If your male or female get on with what you want to do and any one who stops you or gets in your way for any reason, challenge them move on and get on with it.
Never see it as being disadvantaged because you are a female but because others are being obstructive and need to be stopped from acting like this.

budgiegirl · 14/09/2016 08:00

The only way this would be fair is if it was a mixed team. Just one mixed team

The problem with that is that the team would be heavily dominated by boys. The girls that are just 'average' would never get to play sport.

Or a girls only team and a boys only team

That means that girls who are far better than the average girl never really play to their full potential, and less likely to ever go on to achieve great heights in sport.

And perhaps a mixed one as well

This could work, IMO, as long as the mixed team is choosing the top ability players, regardless of whether they are girls or boys. But many schools would not have the resources to train and supervise three teams.

budgiegirl · 14/09/2016 08:06

*you play with the boys expect to be tackled like a boy

Well, that's a lovely attitude to teach your dc, isn't it? So, if you had a girl, you'd be happy with some boy doing this? hmm Do you feel a little threatened by women, eh?*

Actually, I think that Isttimedaddy has a fair point, girls should not be treated any differently on the pitch than boys. They shouldn't be singled out though, but if a hard tackle is called for at that point in the game, then boys shouldn't hold back just because the opponent is a girl. And I say this as a mother of a football playing girl.

Kenduskeag · 14/09/2016 08:11

Genuine question - perhaps they are identifying as male? Schools had to relax the rules to allow children identifying as the opposite gender to join the team that best suited their needs, or something.

Could your son be saying 'two girls' referring to two who now identify as boys?

Other than that I've no idea, if it's a mixed team it should be called a mixed team, and if there's a girls' team the girls should be on that. Or they have two mixed teams. Or they follow what all the other Year 8 teams are doing and have single sex teams.

McBassyPants · 14/09/2016 08:12

I would raise this with the head/board of governors. It is extremely unfair to allow girls on the boys team but not boys on the girls. It should be either two mixed teams OR two single sex teams (equally enforced)

budgiegirl · 14/09/2016 08:22

I would raise this with the head/board of governors. It is extremely unfair to allow girls on the boys team but not boys on the girls. It should be either two mixed teams OR two single sex teams (equally enforced)

I don't think it's at all unfair. It may have a slight bias towards girls, but it's only slight, and it's for an extremely good reason. I have 2 sons and 1 daughter who play football. There are many, many opportunities for boys to play football, but not nearly so many for girls, this policy just addresses the balance slightly.

In England girls can play in a football team until the end of Year 5, and then they have to move to a girls' team. That's what happens in ds's league

If that's what is happening in your DS's league, then they are not adhering to the FA rules. The FA states that girls can play mixed football up until the age of 18.

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