How do I get over this jealousy?

[allthecarbs]

It's really getting me down
I get so jealous and sometimes resentful of women that have a good relationship with their mum. I see them everywhere, they'll just be chatting over a coffee or their mum will be helping with the school run and I just wish it was me.
I want to go and sit in my mum's garden on a sunny day. I want to have a mum stroke my hair and fuss over me when I'm upset.

Sorry, I am feeling rather sorry for myself today and needed to get it out. Any tips on dealing with jealousy would be great but I have a feeling it will never truly go, it's so deep within my heart.

Yes.
I was very lucky to have him ssd.
I miss him.

Cafe...yep. Me too :(

My mum died when I was a child. It's affected my whole psychology. It affects all my relationships and my entire life. I feel constantly abandoned

I feel absolutely the same....I have an inner loneliness that never seems to go away despite having lovely people around me.

My mum and dad both died when i was 26....i feel very alone most of the time and i feel cheated as i have friends quite a bit older than me who still have both parents alive.

User14.... That made me laugh at you would run a mile if your mum tried to stroke your hair
My mum used to try and stroke my hair when pissed and now has moved onto my kids

I get my nurturing through being a good mother myself.

Exactly. Me too. Even more important.... Being good to myself too. Only then can I be a good mum too.

Not saying I did it perfect. My parents were both emotionally distant.... So, as a LP I am there for him when he needs me.

Trying to find the balance to be there emotionally and be the parent... fuck it's hard

"My mum died when I was a child. It's affected my whole psychology. It affects all my relationships and my entire life. I feel constantly abandoned"

This EXACTLY. I too constantly feel abandoned by people because they let me down all the time when me make plans, sack me off if something better comes along, will do things and never ever bother to include me but it's alright to come along if I plan something, favour a sibling over me who actually isn't that nice but I am not allowed to say anything remotely negative as she will be utterly defended - I get told about her 'achievements' and everything she does is worthy of praise yet I don't even get a text, asked how I am etc.

Sometimes I fucking hate everyone around me (bar DH, DCs and GPs) because they are all total let downs.

Solidarity here too. I haven't spoken to my mum in three years, she wasn't at my wedding and has never seen my son. Our NC decision was mutual, she doesn't love me (I'm not being melodramatic, that's just a fact) and so was a terrible parent and i don't like her at all.

That said, I wish I had a mum. Not mine obviously, but a mum all the same. Somebody to support me sometimes and to be proud of my son and to go shopping with or whatever, nothing dramatic just the usual mum/daughter stuff. I'm not jealous when I see mums/daughters together as such but I know some fabulous mothers of all ages and I just feel so cheated and lonely when I think about mine.

I'm really sorry you feel this way.
Not close to my mum at all. She was and growing up it was about their relationship and it was made very clear I came second. Now my mum thinks we should have that sort of relationship and we obviously don't my child comes first. But standing at the school gates and grans are collecting their grandchild or wedding dress shopping without your mum cos it's too much for her is very painful indeed

I feel you on this so much. I was 20 when my mum died, and all my "adult" years she was still with us were spent crippled by my mental health issues so we never got to have those "mother daughter" bonding type days. I'm only just coming out of complete dependency, and it makes me so sad, now that i look to the future and see the possibility of marriage etc, that she won't be around to plan, and experience any of lifes milestones with me.

for everyone on this thread.