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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's really hard to meet someone in your 30s

30 replies

whistlingtea · 13/09/2016 19:00

Romantically that is ! I feel most men are taken. I have heard about a second sort of rush as people
Get divorced but this hasn't happened to my knowledge.

So AIBU to stay with someone I don't think really loves me?

OP posts:
StrongTeaHotShower · 13/09/2016 19:05

Oh no, don't tell me this! I want to be single soon but not forever Sad

Creativemode · 13/09/2016 19:06

It might be hard to meet someone, but it will be harder if you waste your life with someone that doesn't love you.

alfagirl73 · 13/09/2016 19:08

I'm 42 and have recently met the love of my life... so don't be writing all men - or yourself - off any time soon!

annielostit · 13/09/2016 19:09

I met someone when I was 37 - divorced with a 3 year old. We've been married for 10 years now.

gunsandbanjos · 13/09/2016 19:10

I'm 34 and am recently in a relationship with an amazing guy. They are out there.

FreddyFireflyCanFeckOff · 13/09/2016 19:19

Yes, you are being unreasonable. You deserve someone who does love you.

Snapespeare · 13/09/2016 19:27

I met someone when I was 45, divorced, here (teenage) children and various other complications. Age just made me pickier. Don't give up. If you are not happy with your current partner, then have a big of counselling if you think there is anything with salvaging, or walk.

And you are no less a person for being single. You are not completed by a relationship. Being single is just as good as being in a couple.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 13/09/2016 19:30

No, but I don't like it and would rather be with someone. Plus, I want to have children.

OP posts:
madmother1 · 13/09/2016 19:31

Oh gosh. I'm 50 and still live in hope Grin

Mittensonastring · 13/09/2016 19:36

Women debate this issue a lot whereas the men I know don't seem to. But the few comments I have heard from men is that nothing scares them off more than a woman who sees them only as a potential Father. SIL always scared off men by bringing up the subject of DC on date 2 or 3.

People can meet at any age obviously but there does seem to be a thinning out when 30 to 35 gets hit. My advice is to enjoy yourself, do as much as you can hobby and going out wise accept all invitations and also be the protagonist of nights out and get togethers.

Follow up leads and don't waste any time whatsoever on non starters.

KC225 · 13/09/2016 19:39

Met my DH at 39 married at 41 had twins at 42.

chickenowner · 13/09/2016 19:41

I met my DP when I was 37 and he was 46 :-)

We met at a local social meetup group.

www.meetup.com

KERALA1 · 13/09/2016 19:42

Get into road cycling that's where all the professional single men are.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 13/09/2016 19:49

It's not really my thing but thanks :)

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 13/09/2016 19:54

I was 35 when I met my DH, after wasting years on horrible men. Never been happier.

KERALA1 · 13/09/2016 20:01

Nor mine but if I were single I would make it my thing. Dhs club full of lovely professional men - it's the new golf. My old boss (very nice, extremely successful, recently divorced) also into it. Very few women. Rich pickings...downside obv the cycling and Lycra

Purplehonesty · 13/09/2016 20:07

My dsis is 36 with a 10yo and she doesn't think she will ever meet anyone either.
Little does she know I have other plans ..!
Online dating, asking pals to recommend a friend, someone at work? Nights out with friends. I'm going to try them all til I get it sorted.

You are right to say it's hard as yes all the nice men I know are married. So she is likely to find someone divorced with kids perhaps. But then she is too.

Original poster
whistlingtea · 13/09/2016 20:33

I'm not! :)

OP posts:
shins · 13/09/2016 20:37

I was 33 with a 9 year old when I met dh. I know loads of people who met in their 30s and beyond, you're young!

OreoCat · 13/09/2016 20:54

I would have thought 30s is the ideal time to meet someone Smile people get into serious relationships at all ages, I wouldn't worry!

bigTillyMint · 13/09/2016 20:58

I was 31 when I split with my ex and I kissed quite a few frogs before meeting my now DH 4 months later.

I may have had my beer-goggles on rather a lot

Many of our friends met their spouses in their early 30's, so there is definitely lots of hope.

LadyFarnborough · 13/09/2016 21:04

34 when I met mine. I was divorced, he'd split up from a long term partner. Feel a bit sad that we missed out on so much together but we'd never have lasted if we'd met when younger.
Have faith OP Smile

Revenant · 13/09/2016 21:28

I met DH when I was 37, 8 years on we're happier than ever.

HormonalHeap · 13/09/2016 21:33

I think it's harder than your 20's, but not as hard as your 40's! Definitely possible to meet someone in your 30's, especially in late 30's when the number of divorcees increases. I met my dh when we were both 38 with children. Second marriage for us both. Never looked back.

Jackiebrambles · 13/09/2016 21:37

I met my now husband at 34. Online. We're so happy - two kids later too!