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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think being stoned when you have a child to look after is irresponsible?

48 replies

onecrazycook · 13/09/2016 18:05

My friend (a good one) is suffering with a chronic illness which she is self medicating for with weed in the absence of any real help from her doctor (she's waiting to see a specialist after finally getting a diagnoses).

Whilst I wouldn't do weed myself, I don't begrudge her the relief it brings. However, she has a 6 year old daughter. She doesn't smoke in front of her that I know of, but she's stoned in her presence. AIBU to think that it's not on or is she capable of caring for her in that state? Having never been stoned myself, I can't say from experience.

Or am I being a judgemental cow??

OP posts:
DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 13/09/2016 18:07

Apparently smoking weed for pain relief only affects the pain so you don't actually get stoned.

I think lots of people would judge tbh but until you're in that situation.... would it be better for her child to see her crying, struggling, in pain, unable to care for her and cope?

QueenLizIII · 13/09/2016 18:08

I smoked weed as a teen. Didnt do much to me.

I took mirtazipine for depression and that pretty much put me in a coma for 8 hours. A nuclear bomb wouldnt have woken me let alone a crying baby.

Ever had a couple of glasses of wine, or more whilst in charge of children? That would render you less capable than weed.

Birdsgottafly · 13/09/2016 18:09

I've got extensive experience of street drugs and prescribed pain killers/anti psychotic drugs.

I hate Cannabis, it's marketed as a 'soft drug', but what's knocking around Liverpool, certainly any 'soft'.

However the effects of it can be less debilitating than the effects of some medical treatments, so anyone whose struggling with pain, has my sympathy and understanding.

SheldonsSpot · 13/09/2016 18:09

Meh, I don't use it myself but I have friends who smoke a spliff in the same way that I have a glass of wine and the effects are about the same.

And yes I do have a drink (a glass of wine or two) while my children are at home and even occasionally - shock horror - when I have sole responsibility for them.

It's not something I could get too het up about.

ArmySal · 13/09/2016 18:09

Not great, but better than being pissed, I believe.

QueenLizIII · 13/09/2016 18:11

And yes I do have a drink (a glass of wine or two) while my children are at home and even occasionally - shock horror - when I have sole responsibility for them.

Exactly. Who doesnt. That was my point. It doesnt render you incapable and nor would weed.

Skittlesss · 13/09/2016 18:11

No, I think you're right... she absolutely shouldn't be stoned whilst looking after her child/in front of her child. That's disgusting. Pain or not. I can see why she would need the relief, I suffer from a chronic condition that leaves me in a lot of pain, but you just find a way to get through, you have to. She needs to return to her GP and push for help faster.

Myusernameismyusername · 13/09/2016 18:12

I think skunk is a growing issue so this is why personally I think it should be medically regulated. Skunk is a terrible form of cannibis, usually mostly synthetic, extremely strong and not at all good for mental health and having seen people who smoke it, they are stoned to the point of like very drunk, or other drugs.
Other people I knew who smoked pot, hash, non synthetic stuff seemed fine if not mildly spaced

VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 13/09/2016 18:12

I've drunk two glasses of wine in an empty stomach after spending the day in the sun. I have burned my thumb on the roast chicken. Fortunately there is a sober adult in the house so you don't need to call social services. Alcohol is probably worse.

LurkingHusband · 13/09/2016 18:12

The analgesic effects of cannabis - certainly for neuropathetic pain - seem to occur at much lower dosages that the psychoactive or psychotropic effects.

This is why smoking/vaping are the preferred routes for administration, as they allow for quite fine titration, if the aim is to relieve pain rather than get high.

Myusernameismyusername · 13/09/2016 18:13

It's illegal though so she could easily end up in quite a lot of trouble. I can see why people in pain are tempted but a criminal record isn't worth it.

MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity · 13/09/2016 18:13

Just half of the medications my mum takes for her various ailments would make anyone twice as "stoned" than weed but because it's prescription it's fine. Strange that.
Whilst I don't smoke weed, don't support legalisation (simply due to the fact that smoking it can affect those around you, unlike alcohol or prescription drugs which are person specific) I do think it should be a medical option (by ingestion).
Hopefully it is only affecting your friends pain and not getting her stoned.

motherinferior · 13/09/2016 18:15

She's not going to get a criminal record for the odd spliff!

Myusernameismyusername · 13/09/2016 18:18

You can't categorically say she won't though really can you? Wrong place wrong time, you never know.

LurkingHusband · 13/09/2016 18:18

Skunk is a terrible form of cannibis, usually mostly synthetic

No. Anything "synthetic" is - by definition - not cannabis.

Skunk was a specific strain which smells (a lot) when growing. Now taken as a media meme for "strength" which is neither historically, nor botanically correct.

I was amused to read recently that the US DEA program to defoliate Colombian coca plantations in the 80s and 90s led to the (natural)N evolution of strains that are now defoliant resistant and stronger than before. (The irony of evolution wrong footing the US is not lost on me).

Another own goal in the "war on drugs" (c). Like the emergence of goodness-knows-what as "synthetic" cannabis in response to the prohibition of the natural stuff.

LBOCS2 · 13/09/2016 18:18

No worse than a couple of glasses of wine, and a lot of parents are perfectly happy to do that.

Myusernameismyusername · 13/09/2016 18:19

Yes I know it isn't cannibis, but it is usually sold as such. It can be quite hard I believe to find cannibis that isn't skunk

AGruffaloCrumble · 13/09/2016 18:20

I would have my judgey pants on but I would also mind my own business and I don't drink or take drugs.

LurkingHusband · 13/09/2016 18:21

I can see why people in pain are tempted but a criminal record isn't worth it

No you can't, so don't pretend. Come and live with MrsLH who is in agony with seized muscles you could chop firewood on, and then say that.

Not fit for this thread, but some people find chronic extreme pain unbearable - they would gladly risk prison for relief.

SpookyPotato · 13/09/2016 18:21

It depends how it affects the smoker.. I know people who are just calmed by it, without the laziness, giggling at nothing, munchies etc. I think that's much better than an angry, stressed out parent. As long as the smoking is done away from them! Most people have vices, it's about moderation.
I've known people who are totally useless when stoned so that's different!

LurkingHusband · 13/09/2016 18:21

It can be quite hard I believe to find cannibis that isn't skunk

easiest thing in the world if you grow your own.

LBOCS2 · 13/09/2016 18:22

It can be quite hard I believe to find cannibis that isn't skunk

I think that's true in some cases. Certainly the majority of adult users I know tend to grow their own (rather than teenagers approaching a dealer-type scenario).

LBOCS2 · 13/09/2016 18:23

X post LH Smile

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 13/09/2016 18:27

Police will turn a blind eye to cannabis for personal use, particularly when it is taken for pain relief. She would not get in to a lot of trouble.
I agree with sanity, opiate painkillers are far more addictive and mind altering.

Chronic pain is horrendous and can severely affect your ability to function normally so her self medicating may be the only way for her to carry on relatively normally.

As her friend, perhaps you could offer help with childcare? Having her daughter for a couple of hours or doing some school pick ups?

ecuse · 13/09/2016 18:27

my dh smokes the odd spliff. I have the odd glass of wine. I think the effects are pretty similar. neither of us have more than one or two whilst in charge of kids so I dont consider either a problem. excessive use of either would be a problem.

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