to think its a bit cheeky to ask?

[cjt110]

My cousin is expecting her 5th baby. A boy. Her youngest at the moment is 3 and when I had my son, she kindly passed over a lot of outgrown clothes. All very good quality and have been a godsend to us.

It never crossed my mind to save any of the clothes as 1) we don't intend to have any more children and 2) It just never crossed my mind to save them for anyone else.

Via my Mum my cousin has asked do we have any outgrown boys clothes we could pass on to her?

In principle I am more than happy to do this but I think it's a bit cheeky to ask. Also, she doesnt live locally and sees my Mum (not me) perhaps 4/5 times a year. Whilst this would be pk as my son is 2, it means we would have to store the clothes for her and we're a;already struggling for space. Previously, when my son has outgrown his clothes, we've passed them to charity/his nursery.

so, IABU to think it's a bit cheeky to have asked?

she's about to have her fifth child and is having a panic about expense. She's asking because she's got financial concerns and can't afford to wait for you to offer in all likelihood.
I'd be slinging over all the pushchair / highchair / monitor nonsense possible as well in these circs, maybe with a request for her not to sling them out in case you need them again

YABU

I didnt realise asking was ok and a thing.
You are family and she is asking because she did the same for you. She is not being cheeky at all.

OHHH highchair. I didnt think of that! My son is about to outgrow his at my parents.

I'm surprised anyone would think this was cheeky

YABU

Firstly she's family, you should offer anyway and its fine to ask family for help.

Secondly she gave to you, yet you didn't consider giving to her when you found out she was pregnant. Very rude and inconsiderate of you.

Thirdly she has given you clothes therefore it is not rude to ask you to return the favour.

Oh, quit piling on the op. She's admitted fault and is now making a list of items to give her cousin. Does she need to self-flagellate as well in order to show her penitence for misreading the situation?

I must admit that when I started this whole baby thing it never occurred to me to offer stuff around; usually because I'd battered it so badly that I thought no-one would want my crap however I eventually realised (after very heavy hinting!) that that was the done thing and so now I do it. Doesn't come naturally though! TBF some people are weird about second-hand stuff anyway and get offended if you offer, so basically you can't win

Is there any life left in her old clothes now that they've been through several children, come to think of it?!

maybe she only asked directly after you didn't reply to all the messages she sent to you telepathically?

No of course she wasn't cheeky - you sound very self absorbed to be grateful to receive nice preloved kids things, but not to even consider passing stuff on, especially to a family member having her 5th child!

She's not asking you to store she's asking you to pass them on.

YABU

You're grand OP, you just probably didn't think of it.

In relation to your question WSU to ask, she wouldn't have had to ask if you had offered so YWBU

Have I read this correctly?!

Your cousin gave you a whole load of her baby things a couple of years ago. You happily took them. She's now unexpectedly found that she needs them back and asked you and you think she's being cheeky????

If anyone's behaving cheekily here it's you, for not having offered to return HER STUFF to her before now!

Of course it's ok for her to ask.

She is basically asking for her stuff back, and trying to do it politely!

OP: AIBU
MN: Yes
OP: Okay, thank you
MN (who havent RTFT): YABU*50

The comment about the father is irrelevant. I'm starting to think you look down on this woman. Even though she's helped you out in the past.

You also said it never occurred to you to save clothes, but that you were planning to give clothes to her. Well which was it?

I think you've been rude in not offering the original clothes back regardless of whether she was pregnant or not. I would always offer clothes back as long as they were still in good condition whether I thought the person was going to have more children or not.

At least she asked you before you had given them away or disposed of them because then I don't know what you would do.

Did she make it clear to you when you gave them to you that they were on loan and not a gift?

Milkyface tbf I asked the question about whether op's cousin's pregnancy was expected and the information about the father came out as a result.

OP has admitted SIBU.

Imagine asking for directions. In RL, somebody says you should have turned left. You might do a face palm, retrace your steps, then turn left where you should have. AIBU directions would mean a throng of 50 people following you to the station shouting you should have turned left!

I don't think it's cheeky to ask. Baby clothes are expensive and what she's asking for is something she knows you may well have and will no longer need. Some things ARE cheeky asks, but I don't think this circumstance is.