Is it rude to ask people to take their shoes off?

[ppandj]

We have wooden floorboards downstairs with rugs on, vinyl in the kitchen and carpet up the stairs and all the way through the upstairs of our house. The vinyl is no problem because it can be easily cleaned. However, pretty much everyone in my and DP's families leaves their shoes on when they come round. I must hoover up about every other day just because of the little bits that get trampled around. Now that it's been a bit wetter outside there are clumps of mud all over the rugs. I always take my shoes off in other people's house, unless they say not to. WIBU to ask them to take their shoes off? I'm prepared to provide slippers/socks!

[YouOKHun]

I did wonder about putting a basket of slippers/socks by the door (which is also under the radiator so they'd be toasty!).

ppandj - wasn't there a thread on here before about someone going round to someone's house and being presented by a basket of pointy ethnic slippers and told 'help yourself to artisanal slippers' to which she responded 'fuck off, if I want to come round to your house and dress as an elf I'll tell you'. Offering slippers of doubtful provenance from a basket is clearly risky!

[Creativemode]

Offering slippers is the absolute worst thing you can do!

[enchantmentandlove]

saucyjack

I did consider that but she does it in her own home, where the layout is as such I always hear her

[DeadGood]

God, the people who refuse to remove shoes always get very worked up about this but can never offer any reasons why it is so awful.

If your feet stink, sort it out. If you have holes in your socks, sort that out. The end.

[Natsku]

Chronic hipsterism

I don't think its rude so long as you ask politely as for some people it wouldn't occur to them to take their shoes off if they've been raised in shoes-on households.

Its definitely shoes-off in my house except for plumbers etc. but actually they usually take theirs off anyway. Everyone else takes off immediately as its the norm here so never need to ask. I keep a shoe rack by the door (plus the piles of shoes scattered in the porch) and a chair by the shoe rack so people can sit down if they need to. Its shoes-off at DD's nursery too, woe betide a parent that walks in there with shoes on!

[squoosh]

I might be a hipster.....

In that case you're already doomed.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

We have wooden floors. My family (bil and parents) have form for paddling mud up our stairs and wet footprints down the hallway when it was pissing down outside. So next time we asked them to remove shoes and it almost ended in an argument, lots of eye rolling and making it clear we were being unreasonable. I couldn't be bothered with risking a fall out every time they visited, so we no longer ask them to take shoes off. They never bother to volunteer to do so either. We quietly seeth, but hey ho. Yanbu op, but many will say you're unwelcoming and anally retentive to not want people leaving dirty footprints all over your much cared for house.

[DeadGood]

"Mind you sweaty socks leave worse staining marks so clean shoes are actually better."

1. Socks would have to be absolutely filthy to stain floors
   
2. Shoes, unless they are brand new, are never "clean". The tops may be but the soles are not, unless maybe you have a page sprinkling rose petals in your path.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

God, the people who refuse to remove shoes always get very worked up about this but can never offer any reasons why it is so awful.

And the people who insist on shoe removal get very worked up too about the billions of germs that appear to be only on shoes and nowhere else

Do these threads get started so that the OP can stir everyone up? Nobody is going to be swayed by what people on MN insist is the only way - neither side is wrong or right, but it does seem controversial

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

I can never get my head round people that leave their shoes on! It's a reflex reaction to me. Enter house, remove shoes.

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

To be fair ifailed only London ever causes black bogies ime so hand washing is probably a sensible precaution!

[Creativemode]

Actually deadgood my dad has anxiety and wears his shoes at all times incase he needs to get away quickly. The only time he removes his shoes is for bed.

He wouldn't visit if he couldn't wear his shoes. Ironically he never goes out only in the car door to door so his shoes are all brand new.

[DeadGood]

" I'm mindful of my friend who had a condition which meant that her feet smelt really bad (nothing to do with bad hygiene) - she would be mortified if anyone asked her to remove her shoes. Old people might find it hard to bend down and remove their shoes without a chair.

Also, I'm not sure how it would work in hot weather when people are wearing sandals/flip flops without socks? You'd have sweaty feet walking across your wooden floors and carpets."

Good points.

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

And some people would find it incredibly bad manners if someone came to their house and took off their shoes.

Just do what the host prefers - not sure why it would cause so much angst

[squoosh]

My faves are the militant shoes off people who have no problem with their pets' plonking their genitals on the furniture or kitchen worktops.

[AVY1]

I think YANBU to ask but I don't seem to ever meet anyone that can't wait to take their shoes off anyway! However, I remember my great aunt telling me leaving them on was the correct etiquette so I do panic when I go to others homes.

[DeadGood]

"And the people who insist on shoe removal get very worked up too about the billions of germs that appear to be only on shoes and nowhere else"

Seriously? Those germs do exist elsewhere - on the street. Shoes-on people seem to be able to completely close their minds to the fact that the soles of their shoes walk on streets that have been puked on by drunks, pooed on by dogs, peed on by guys at night, covered in chewing gum and other rubbish...

Liked that otter btw

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

It's not putting my soft furnishings before the comfort of guests, it's putting my kids health before other people's bad manners!

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

sqoosh that always grosses me out too but DH is a militant no-shoes person and yet he lets the fucking ducks in the house when he thinks I am not looking. They spend 90% of their lives paddling around in shit! Have told him next time it happens there will be confit for tea.

[squoosh]

Ducks in the house?!

He sounds like my kind of guy!

But then confit for tea?

You sound like my kind of woman!

[littlepeas]

I find it a bit wannabe posh but really a bit on the common side (Hyacinth Bucket the perfect example) to ask people to take shoes off. Sorry. I like to be barefoot around the house, but wouldn't expect guests to remove shoes unless that was how they felt comfortable.

[DeadGood]

"Today 13:12 Creativemode

Actually deadgood my dad has anxiety and wears his shoes at all times incase he needs to get away quickly. The only time he removes his shoes is for bed.

He wouldn't visit if he couldn't wear his shoes. Ironically he never goes out only in the car door to door so his shoes are all brand new."

He is an exceptional case then I would say.

We have a friend who wears special boots, they help his foot, is a ball ache to remove them. We don't expect him to.

Everyone else - we won't push it, but it pisses me off when they don't

livia "just do what the host prefers" is fine. But ppl on here are saying they would refuse to return to a house where they were expected to remove shoes! Just because they "don't do that". Pfft

[DeadGood]

" However, I remember my great aunt telling me leaving them on was the correct etiquette so I do panic when I go to others homes."

Your great aunt is not an authority on the subject, as she is from two generations back from you and is unlikely to reflect the beliefs and cultures of your peers

[Greenteandchives]

I hope none of the shoes off people let their kids stand up in shopping trolleys. Now that does give me the rage.