Is it rude to ask people to take their shoes off?

[ppandj]

We have wooden floorboards downstairs with rugs on, vinyl in the kitchen and carpet up the stairs and all the way through the upstairs of our house. The vinyl is no problem because it can be easily cleaned. However, pretty much everyone in my and DP's families leaves their shoes on when they come round. I must hoover up about every other day just because of the little bits that get trampled around. Now that it's been a bit wetter outside there are clumps of mud all over the rugs. I always take my shoes off in other people's house, unless they say not to. WIBU to ask them to take their shoes off? I'm prepared to provide slippers/socks!

[heron98]

Also if I'm going to a friend's for the evening I bring my own slippers to wear. Keeps my feet warm!

[heron98]

I would and have asked people to take theirs off, although to be honest 99 percent of my friends just do anyway, as I would going round to theirs.

[ppandj]

Yes! This is why I thought maybe it's because they don't like the feel of the wooden floorboards and that's why I thought about slippers maybe. They could have their own pairs that we just keep for them.

[squoosh]

They have a strict shoes off policy in their own house, they know your house is shoes off, and they still keep their shoes on?

[ppandj]

By signal I mean put a more sturdy doormat and a runner in the hall, and leave shoes there to see- not ask them!

[ppandj]

This is the strange thing about my dilemma, (which I have thought more about in the past 24 hours than I ever thought I would!) the family that have traipsed mud through the house repeatedly are actually shoes off in their own house. At theirs, we also go through the back door so as not to walk with shoes on on their carpet. So I know it isn't that they feel uncomfortable about their feet. We're really close to them but because they are DP's family I don't feel comfortable asking them to take shoes off. My own family I would make a joke about it if they trampled mud and I know it would be fine, and all my friends are shoes off people anyway. So I'm just going to have to signal to in-laws that we take our shoes off/wipe thoroughly here!

[roseteapot101]

friends of ours always ask us to take our shoes off the door i thought it was common courtesy to ask if they dont ask should we take our shoes off

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

Personally, I hate wearing shoes in a house but don't care what other people do, unless it's DP walking over my freshly-hoovered carpets in muddy wellies (but I only hoover once a week so I like to be able to enjoy the clean carpets for a little while). But if it were anyone else it wouldn't bother me. I'd rather people were comfortable. For me, comfort is shoes off, so that's what I do at home and elsewhere, but each to their own.

I do find being told to take shoes off rather rude, though. I have one friend who does this and I just find it unwelcoming. Not that she's rude in her request, per se. I have other friends who have a house rule for family of shoes off, and whilst they prefer the same of visitors they'd never enforce it. I find that much nicer.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

Personally, I hate wearing shoes in a house but don't care what other people do, unless it's DP walking over my freshly-hoovered carpets in muddy wellies (but I only hoover once a week so I like to be able to enjoy the clean carpets for a little while). But if it were anyone else it wouldn't bother me. I'd rather people were comfortable. For me, comfort is shoes off, so that's what I do at home and elsewhere, but each to their own.

I do find being told to take shoes off rather rude, though. I have one friend who does this and I just find it unwelcoming. Not that she's rude in her request, per se. I have other friends who have a house rule for family of shoes off, and whilst they prefer the same of visitors they'd never enforce it. I find that much nicer.

[Annie592]

Your kids health is not going to be affected by someone wearing shoes in your house!! What about your pets- they are out tramping the streets and parks when you walk them- do you make them wash and dry their paws before they come in? Sorry OP this is not directed at you, just some of the general 'horror at where shoes have been' posts. I do take my shoes off most of the time in other people's houses, because I feel more comfortable, but would never dream of asking someone to remove theirs- completely up to them.

[OrangeFluff]

I wonder how many 'shoes off because of hygiene' people have cats and dogs?

We have a 'whatever makes you comfortable' house. I don't have any carpets downstairs so cleaning is easy. I have a cat, so vaccuum regularly anyway.

[NicknameUsed]

Maybe it is Tezza I live in semi rural South Yorkshire and we all take our shoes off. I don't find wearing outdoor shoes inside particularly comfortable. I would rather wear slippers anyway (because my feet get cold easily).

I don't ask people to remove shoes, and would never dream of doing so. They just come in and see the shoe rack by the door and automatically take them off.

I have the occasional visitor who doesn't, but as their feet look clean I don't say anything. Clearly they are more comfortable keeping them on.

[Tezza1]

I'm prepared to provide slippers/socks!
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

I don't want to put on anything that's been near another person's foot, unless the item has been sanitised/washed in disinfectant on the hottest cycle for a very long wash.

And, I'm not terribly picky, and am not fussed about most things, but a case of fungal infection on the sole of my foot, with no idea of where I got it, has made me wary about this. I probably wouldn't mind bare feet, except in a bathroom (other than my own).

Thankfully, nobody whose house I have ever entered has ever suggested taking off my shoes - I've never heard of anyone doing it, nor have I seen the hosts take off their shows, unless they've just from work in high heels. So, I suppose it'a a local thing.

[oblada]

To follow on from what the pp has said I do find it quite sad as well that some people would choose not to come back to a house just because they're been asked to remove their shoes. It seems like a very narrow minded and ignorant approach. In many cultures it is highly offensive to keep shoes in the house and therefore shoes off is the rule. It's the case for us. DH and me come from different cultures but both 'shoes off'. Our friends all ask if they need to remove their shoes. And I do whenever I go anywhere. I find the idea of everyone walking in a house with shoes on a bit odd and dirty but if friends decided to do this in their house I would still come back of course, their house!! If a friend told me they found it uncomfortable to take their shoes off I would tell them to keep them on.

Luckily for me I don't need a sign, I have a 5yrs old who will ensure everyone knows how things are done in our house LOL:)

[QuodPeriitPeriit]

It amazes me the amount of angst this topic can generate. And what rigid rules some people live their lives by. I leave my shoes on at home if I feel like it, take them off if I feel like it. My house is perfectly clean thanks (ok not perfectly but more than adequately). We don't live in a bog, or traipse through pig shit on the way to the door. I prefer my guests to do whatever makes them feel comfortable in my house.

I find the ridicule directed at Borp for asking guests to wash hands by the shoes-off-for-hygiene-reasons people odd. There are bacteria on everything you touch, not just on the ground. It makes at least as much sense to ask people to wash hands as to ask them to remove shoes.

[FoxesOnSocks]

I think there are two worlds: one where everyone takes thier shoes off inside and another where no body does. This is the only explanation for the 'I don't know anyone who ..." malarkey.

These worlds only connect on MN which causes revulsion and terror that one day someone from the other worlds may visit. There should be a horror film about it: The Fearful Feet

I once was in Japan and was told not to take my shoes off inside. True story.

[Coughingchildren5]

If people are rude enough to keep on their dirty outdoor shoes I don't think you should worry about reminding them to take them off! You can leave a sign up and a shoe mat in the hall to try prompt people into a new habit. There are often decorative charming signs in housey shops which will help soften the blow for those who find if difficult to understand the new house rules.

[PenelopeFlintstone]

'Shoes off' to me feels a bit Hyacinth Bucket. Like leaving plastic covers on sofas.

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

Meh, I don't mind DH being a tad anally retentive rorty - prefer that to him being a filthy bugger. (Admittedly I wish he wouldn't strip down to his pants in the lobby when he gets home from his ward rounds..as I am sure our neighbours do.)

[SenecaFalls]

I never know how much leeway to give to older people.

I would suggest giving them a lot of leeway. It can be quite dangerous for older people to walk around barefoot. Foot issues are very common as people age and they might not want to give you all the medical details on arriving at your house.

[MyKidsHaveTakenMySanity]

I have a big bristly mat outside and a good mat inside the door. These mean shoes on is fine and my floors stay clean.

Until my kids run in. And out. And in. And out. And in. (Never once wiping their grassy, wet or muddy feet.)

Maybe I should insist on a no shoes rule to discourage my children and their dozens of pals from running in and out every 5 mins. They'd get annoyed at taking shoes off and putting them back on again.

[SenecaFalls]

Every time I see one of these threads, I wonder is this a particularly British divide? I'm American and pretty old and have never been asked to remove my shoes in a house in the US, but have in the UK. I'm happy to comply although right now I'm recovering from foot surgery and literally cannot walk unless I am wearing shoes.

[coffeetasteslikeshit]

Also... The thought of wearing someone else's socks or slippers. Ugh. No.

[coffeetasteslikeshit]

I agree Amelia. I hate taking my shoes off in other people's houses, it makes me feel very uncomfortable, I'm not sure why, but it does.
I would never traipse muddy shoes into someone's house, that would be rude, but if there is no visable dirt on them I don't see the necessity of taking them off. The germs thing is just bollocks as far as I'm concerned.

[AmeliaLeopard]

I avoid houses where there is a "shoes off" rule. It makes me uncomfortable so I'd never choose to visit there. That isn't "no reason". Other people might not get why it makes me uncomfortable, but it just does. Their house, their rules so I wouldn't complain, but if I'm uncomfortable in someone's house why the hell would I go back?!