To be a fat bastard and do nothing about it.

[Lizmay12]

So I've put on 3 stone since I had my children. I'm constantly down about it always moaning. Feel absolutely shit about myself. God forbid DP tries to be nice and surprise me with organising a childcare and taking me out. I spoil it whinging about my fat belly and having no clothes to fit me. All this and I do absolutely fuck all to change my lifestyle.
I eat to much shit and moan about being fat.

Yes I am being VFUCKINGU!!!!!! Why can't I change my ways !!!!!

Lizmay I reckon you need to find something that works for you. There's not one way (strict diet/gym) to get healthier. There's loads of ways. As long as you are doing something towards your goal you will hopefully find yourself getting more motivated. And if you have bad days it's also important not to beat yourself up or think you're failing. Being healthy is a way of life and we are allowed off days. As long as you are going in the right direction that's great.

I never used to be this way. I'm ashamed of how I spoil things. And I am SO that person to make people awkward especially DP talking about my size.

Convert that self-pity energy into doing something energy.

(Honestly not being mean - trying to highlight the victim thinking so you can weed it out!)

Another thing I found is that I would have ice cream after dinner or raid the biscuits before bed, so now I don't have anything to eat after 7pm. Unless I haven't had my evening meal, I don't skip meals, I'm just "not allowed" the junk food after a certain time. If it's 6.30 and I want a choc ice I have one, just not after 7!

I hear you op.
Not advice but I hear you.
I'm about 5st overweight.
A shop worker thought I was pregnant yesterday.
I don't go out if I can help it as I'm so embarrassed.
I'll try to start eating right tomorrow. I know by the evening it'll have all gone wrong. I'm so unhappy yet can't seem to change it.

I totally understand this.
I'm so rational about every other aspect of my life. I know there's a problem and I know I can solve it. I just need to fucking do it!!!! I think tonight was my last straw. I was embarrassed when I saw an old friend.
Yes this is my problem and I can do this. I'm going to start right now.
I have just threw loads of shit out and my DP said nothing. Not a word. He was smiling. That said it all

Lizmay bloody well done for binning loads of junk out. Go for it. In a way that will work for you. You can do it. You totally can do it.

Lizmay12 you totally can! What a rocking role model you are for your kids! Mum had a problem and she believed in herself and she fixed it! Now keep trying until it's done.

You can, you can, YOU CAN!

Just had a discussion with DP about this thread.
The outcome was...
He's made me promise to post on here and tell everyone if I fail
And he's getting on mumsnet because he loves you all

Could you try a small thing like walking a bit more? I use a tracker wrist band, and it is brilliant for making you move about - even just little things like walking to a colleague for a chat rather than sending an email add up to more steps, and if you can hook up with other app users it can become quite competitive. (I am not fat, but I am SO greedy I could eat non-stop - what works for me is being really disciplined with what I eat Monday/Thursday, then having what I want over the weekends. If I want cake on Tuesday, I know I can have it on Friday so I grit my teeth and hang on.)

Buy some digital scales and confront the issue, don't use not having time to exercise as an excuse - 80% of weight loss is food intake, you can only lose 20% by exercise
Then start 5:2 fast diet which is great to make you realise how much mindless eating we all do, and on a fast day you say to yourself I can have that toast/chocolate/fat stuff tomorrow so you don't feel deprived
And look at the 5:2 thread on here -it's packed full of useful info and support

Going to have a look at the 5:2 now. Thanks

You don't have to make that promise because you're not going to fail.

I am in the same boat, and as pp said, I use food to get through tiredness. (My dcs are 9 and 11, but my thyroid packed up after DC2 and I get exhausted easily). I ate far less when I had energy, I was too busy whizzing about everywhere. I've also been eating lots of sugary stuff as I lost my mother a few months ago, and I'm so heartbroken that I use treats as a comfort. I never look at my body in the mirror but today I did by accident and i sat down and cried, I look so ghastly, and so unlike myself. I am reading the posts with interest, as I am struggling to get motivated to actually change and shift the weight. I have about three things that fit me, so depressing.

Sir

Ur post made me really feel for you. I don't know what to say as I am clearly in no position to advise you.
I just hope we can BOTH find a way through this. for you

Lizmay I agree you don't need to make a promise to us. It would be great to hear how you are getting on if it will help you keep up motivation but I really do think that as you see results, you'll want to do more and keep going yourself. I've a friend who's lost a similar amount of weight. She is now doing 20 min runs and has surprised herself. To see her confident and happy and healthy is just amazing. She is so enjoying her life.

Everyone is different but these things work for me:
Avoid sugary, low nutrition snacks that trigger a sugar high then crash.
Avoid the junky aisles in the supermarket so I'm not even tempted to pick at it in the house.
Drink mainly water and fruit teas.
Aim for a mix of protein, carbs and veg for meals.
Have a filling breakfast to avoid munchies.
Exercise and be active. I like my food, so this is a big one in giving me a bit more leeway in eating a satisfying amount.

By and large, I can sustain this. Sometimes I slip and have to be extra mindful like now to get back to my happy zone. I've lost the baby weight both times like this, as well as maintaining. Other people need different approaches.

Yoda said "do or do not, there is no try". If you have hit the place where you're ready to make a change then go for it. Some moments won't be perfect, but this is life not a dress rehearsal, so you get back on it and win the war overall.

If you're not ready, and just wanting a whinge, then ignore

I really do feel I'm ready. I'm sick of this stupid rut I am stuck in.
I all honesty I think I've been looking for an excuse every single time.
I have finally realised that this is MY issue and only mine to sort out.
The amount of times I've tried and that's exactly it I need to not try but do!

Every reply I read and appreciate.

I sympathise, so so much. Apart from a brief period when i was 6 or 7 i've always been overweight. Mental health issues didn't help this when i became housebound at 15. Put on two stone in a very short time, cue a crap load of stretchmarks! I'd tell myself, "I WILL stick to losing weight this time" And maybe three months or so before every birthday "I REFUSE to still be fat as a 16/18/20/21 (and every number up to and inbetween!) year old".
I sit here now, a month off my 27th birthday, at a size 18 bottom and probably a size 20-22 top, but squeezing into size 18 stretch camis and a baggy jumper if anyone else will see me, even mid summer. June 1st i was determined i wanted to have lost atleast 2 stone by my birthday, i lost 6 pounds in the first week, and have stayed there ever since. I joined the Gym July 4th, and for the first 10 days i went every single day. Of course then had a month and a half where i didn't go at all, although an unexpected failing of my BC and a horrendously painful period, combined with a gym injury took the first week of that, followed by 2 weeks to not knock 2 new piercings, and a further week after having my failed implant replaced, so it wasn't entirely a lack of motivation, but i didn't do any gentle at home exercise like i should have instead.

I did however, completely resist getting any doughnuts when i went to krispy kreme with my sister, even turning down free ones they were giving away after making too many, so maybe there is hope!

1. Eat a massive cooked breakfast, after that only eat when you are really hungry. Learn to identify true hunger.
2. Walk everywhere
3. Drink lots of water
4. Stop drinking alcohol and stop eating cakes and biscuits
5. Cut out sugar

Thank you Liz. Have had a terrible year generally, and have put on about a stone and a half, when I was too tubby to start with. I really almost feel past caring day to day, but it does really bother me. I should be a size 8 and I am now a 14. I need to sort it out, it is really affecting my confidence, but it has become a bit of a vicious circle.

Make one small change. Then another and so on and so on. It's not going to happen overnight. Weight that comes off slowly will more than likely stay off. You've just got to make a start. That's the hardest part.
What would motivate you to improve your life?
You'll potentially live longer, feel better about yourself and wear the clothes you want to wear.
....I've lost about a stone over the course of 3 months, just by making small changes. I'm not torturing myself.
Good luck

I was a size 20 at the start of this year, am now a 12-14 and have lost 3 stone. For me what has worked is not denying myself anything, I still eat bread, chocolate, crisps etc, but only at the weekend. During the week I do a fuckton of exercise and eat a fuckton of salads, lean meat and fruit. This approach isn't too hard to stick to because I always know I am only a few days away from having whatever crap it is I am craving!

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake

Love your user name.
Love your chosen unit of measurement, nothing quite like the fuckton!

Happy..
I think that's where I fail. A day of eating well i still feel like I fat mess.
Where you said it's not going to happen over night. This is what I need to think over and over. Just need to keep going.
My one small change is getting rid of all the crap in the house which I have done.
I'm going to look at all the replies everyday to keep me going.
I've just ordered a Fitbit online to get started.

Thank you again. Can't believe the shit mumsnet gets especially this forum. U lot are amazing.

Whatthefuck

This is really helpful. I think if I get myself through the week and know that I have a treat at weekend I may be able to survive.

Thanks to the pp who suggested buying a nice outfit of asos in my size. Ordered a lovely dress that will fit me for Friday when me and DP are going out.