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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

thinking I should have been seated next to my three-year-old on this flight?

682 replies

nappyrat · 10/09/2016 21:41

Cheap (orange) airline. Normally v good when travelling with kids - speedy boarding, say they'll sit you with kid/s etc.

Flew out recently & they said a 'technical error' had mistakenly sat me in a different row(!!) to my 3 year old. They fixed it on board (after much grumbling by several passengers about not moving from seats they've paid extra to book to sit together (fair enough!)). But fixed, fairly stress free.

Return flight today, I was sat across the aisle from DS. Their handling agent told me that this is considered 'sat together'?! Erm...really?! Confused Anyway, handling agent refused to seat us together. Cue quite a bit of 'discussing' with them why this was not on IMO. No budging. Decided to leave it & ask the flight crew when we boarded. Who eventually sorted it - v kind older couple agreed to move seats.

Before I let loose with said orange airline's customer services, AIBU to think that sorting across the aisle from a 3 yr old is not appropriate?! DS was wailing, I had to bend across aisle to comfort, there were good chunks of time during boarding when I couldn't see DS because ppl stood in between us in aisle. Just bloody stressful quite frankly. And not what I'd expect from this - or to be bloody honest - any - airline.

Opinions please mumsnet!

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 15/09/2016 08:41

We were in Business Class. I took the risk that no one in BC would want to be sat next to any of my under 10's alone. I was right, they didn't

Wouldn't bother me. Noise cancelling headphones and my book. Wouldn't be interacting with your kid at all.

cexuwaleozbu · 15/09/2016 09:18

It doesn't matter what it costs the airline to have allocated seats - the fact is that it is a product that has value to some and not to others so if only the people who want it pay for it that means that the airline can have a lower basic fare for the people who don't care where they sit or who with. That is in keeping with the "no frills" airline model and of course there are some airlines who don't follow the "no frills" model and have higher fares, that's fine too.

What the no frills airlines should do is, having required the person making the booking to declare the ages of any child, very clearly state if you don't pay for choosing a seat we will endeavour to seat each child near to an adult in your party but this may be the row in front or behind or across an aisle. Please click here to agree to this and accept that the seats you are allocated may not be immediately next to one another, or click here to pay to choose your own seats. There will be no renegotiations of seating once on board.

Original poster
nappyrat · 15/09/2016 10:52

Rattusn - spot on! Illustrates the worst - such nasty comments!

I did laugh at the 'lots if good little capitalists' paying up comment!! GrinGrin

OP posts:
IamAporcupine · 15/09/2016 10:59

This is a really unpleasant thread. It really shows mumsnet at its worst.

Instead of criticising parents for not paying for pre-booked seats, why not criticise airlines for sitting children and adults separately? This is clearly neither practical, nor safe, but they continue to do so because they are allowed to get away with it, while families are forced to pay a premium for flying.

This ^^ 100%

It doesn't matter what it costs the airline to have allocated seats - the fact is that it is a product that has value to some and not to others so if only the people who want it pay for it that means that the airline can have a lower basic fare for the people who don't care where they sit or who with.

With this logic, you could say that some people do not use the toilet during flights so it has no value to them. The airline could have an even lower basic fair for them and make the rest pay for their toilet use.

Doesn't sound right does it?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2016 11:16

Instead of criticising parents for not paying for pre-booked seats, why not criticise airlines for sitting children and adults separately?

Actually, many of us do criticize the airlines for this; we'd like to see the system changed and for good reason. However until that happens it is what it is and we have to work within it. As with so many other things, making a silly stand at the cost of others (who don't have any influence either) seems selfish at best

I've no doubt some will now claim they're "social crusaders" whose conscience demands they make a stand, when all some really care about is not having their wishes thwarted in any way at any time

Rattusn · 15/09/2016 11:21

Thank you nappy and I am

Whenever there are threads about plane seating and children, there are always piles of vile posts about how adults would ignore distressed children/refuse to move for an upset child. It's really sad, and I hope it's not reflective of our society as a whole.

The airlines are at fault here: clearly seating families together would be the best and safest option, but they don't do it as they are allowed not to, and they can use families as a revenue stream in this way. Sitting next to a young child on a flight should never be an optional extra.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/09/2016 11:42

Not nasty OP - it's not our fault you can't read or email or contact the airline to ensure their policy fits in with what YOU want.

When I accompanied a retired friend with reduced mobility abroad in holiday I emailed, rang etc both Easy Jet and Gatwick Airport and got it all sorted. That's all with me holding down a full time job too. Not rocket science is it?!!

SuperFlyHigh · 15/09/2016 11:45

Rattusn apparently Ryan Air have recently solved your "family seating" problem so toddle off and book with them now.

Easy jet don't necessarily hide this and why should they cater for just families with kids who want to sit together?! Their rules, not mine. Contact Stelios the owner of easy jet if you really want to make a stand about this.

JacquesHammer · 15/09/2016 11:52

how adults would ignore distressed children/refuse to move for an upset child

The child is not my responsibility. The difference for me is that the situation of an upset child COULD have been avoided but the parents of that child chose to take the risk therefore their responsibility.

I am not a good flyer so I pay - quite happily I might add - to sit where I want to and with whom. Why should my flight be made even worse by people who have chosen to do the opposite?

MoreCoffeeNow · 15/09/2016 11:55

Whenever there are threads about plane seating and children, there are always piles of vile posts about how adults would ignore distressed children/refuse to move for an upset child. It's really sad, and I hope it's not reflective of our society as a whole.

I hope it isn't reflective of neglectful, entitled parents who think their DCs matter more than anyone else but aren't prepared to pay to make sure they are safely seated by a parent. What kind of parent would leave it to chance?

MidniteScribbler · 15/09/2016 11:56

Whenever there are threads about plane seating and children, there are always piles of vile posts about how adults would ignore distressed children/refuse to move for an upset child. It's really sad, and I hope it's not reflective of our society as a whole.

But there is absolutely no need for the child to be upset. The parents are making the choice to distress their child because they are refusing to pay fee. I'd have sympathy for a person who was assigned seats away from their child on flights where there is no option to pre-book seats, but if I'm on a flight and have paid to choose my own seats, then there is a reason for that, and I don't have to move because someone else chose not to take that option.

Either pay for the seats you want, or shut the fuck up and accept it when you don't get something for nothing.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 15/09/2016 12:13

I'd move to a similar or better seat but only if I was given the money I'd paid for seat reservation then and there. The airline won't refund it after and I shouldn't be out of pocket.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 15/09/2016 12:19

I agree with Hunter - the OP's on this type of thread never actually say whether they offered to compensate the "movers" who agree to accommodate their requests. This OP mentions "grumbling" by the passengers who were moved but doesn't say whether she compensated them (or even offered to do so).

If I asked someone to move for my convenience I would at the very least offer them the money they paid to reserve their seat and probably buy them a drink as well.

Otoh if sitting with your child is so important, just pay the money yourself?

JacquesHammer · 15/09/2016 12:26

I do think the anecdotes - and I appreciate they're just that - always have parents demanding rather than "I am so sorry, I have really messed up, is there any way we could arrange for you to swap seats please"

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/09/2016 12:30

Interesting that OP - who clearly values "kindness" in others - didn't respond to my question about whether she'd considered offering something to those she expected to move

expatinscotland · 15/09/2016 12:31

'always have parents demanding rather than "I am so sorry, I have really messed up, is there any way we could arrange for you to swap seats please" '

And the parents never ask if those who they want to move paid for their seat, or how much, and offer to refund them their money.

ilovesooty · 15/09/2016 12:36

cex brilliant post. Spot on.

Toilets are not comparable to advance seat booking. You can make a decision beforehand regarding seat booking. You can't possibly know beforehand whether you'll need the toilet en route.

wasonthelist · 15/09/2016 12:40

Saying people who don't agree with you are vile or unpleasant is MN at it's worst IMHO.

39up · 15/09/2016 12:52

I am so pleased Ryanair are now making parents pay to be seated with their kids. I hope the other airlines follow suit and posts like this end.

totalrecall1 · 15/09/2016 13:00

desolate it was BA long haul. If it had been a tenner each way I would have paid it

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 15/09/2016 13:07

Amen to that was!

Mumsnet is full of people who think being disagreed with is 'vile' or 'bullying'.

wasonthelist · 15/09/2016 13:09

I agree the patronising "good little capitalists" comment was hilarious - maybe that poster only flies on North Korean Airlines.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 15/09/2016 13:11

And is typing a tablet/phone/ computer she wove herself from twigs.

LiveLifeWithPassion · 15/09/2016 13:34

Total recall I flew BA and they allocate seats as soon as heck in opens. It is quite expensive to book seats with them so I called them to check their policy.
They assured me that Id be allocated seats with my kids if i didn't book before hand.
I didn't book and checked in online. The seats they'd allocated to me were perfect.

Rattusn · 15/09/2016 13:51

To those who would ignore an upset child because their parents didn't pay for allocated seating, do you believe this is the child's fault?

Perhaps their parents were not aware of this farce that young children can be seated away from their parents unless the parents pay for seating. Whatever reason, why would you happily sit and watch a child be upset?

Truly vile people on this thread.

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