thinking I should have been seated next to my three-year-old on this flight?

[nappyrat]

Cheap (orange) airline. Normally v good when travelling with kids - speedy boarding, say they'll sit you with kid/s etc.

Flew out recently & they said a 'technical error' had mistakenly sat me in a different row(!!) to my 3 year old. They fixed it on board (after much grumbling by several passengers about not moving from seats they've paid extra to book to sit together (fair enough!)). But fixed, fairly stress free.

Return flight today, I was sat across the aisle from DS. Their handling agent told me that this is considered 'sat together'?! Erm...really?! Anyway, handling agent refused to seat us together. Cue quite a bit of 'discussing' with them why this was not on IMO. No budging. Decided to leave it & ask the flight crew when we boarded. Who eventually sorted it - v kind older couple agreed to move seats.

Before I let loose with said orange airline's customer services, AIBU to think that sorting across the aisle from a 3 yr old is not appropriate?! DS was wailing, I had to bend across aisle to comfort, there were good chunks of time during boarding when I couldn't see DS because ppl stood in between us in aisle. Just bloody stressful quite frankly. And not what I'd expect from this - or to be bloody honest - any - airline.

Opinions please mumsnet!

Ooh!

You were seated "with your child" according to safety guidelines. The fact that you don't think it's safe enough is your problem.

sashh why would a child in an aisle seat be a hindrance? Children can sit anywhere, except exit rows and that's only because you need to be able to open the door in an emergency. If you dictated where children can and can't sit, you'd never get a plane off the ground!

But you don't get it.
You WERE sat next to your child.
They followed exactly what they stated.
Just because it isn't what YOU class as next to doesn't mean they are wrong.

They also sa this:
*If you haven’t purchased seats for your family then the best chance of sitting together is to check in as early as possible. Our seating system will always try to group you together and there are usually plenty of seats available, but seats are allocated on a first come first served basis so the earlier you check in the more likely you are to sit together.

Check in opens 30 days before your departure, so please try to check in as early as you can. If you leave it to the last minute it’s likely that there won’t be enough seats for your family and we’ll then have to rely on other passengers agreeing to move once on board the aircraft which can be stressful and cause delays.*

The whole ethos behind budget flights is that they cut back on everything so people can fly cheaply - and you pay extra for the things that you want - such as food, reserved seating etc.

If the CAA start doing things like making it obligatory to have seating next to children - then basically everyone else, whether they reserve seats or not, has to pay for that via increased air fares to cover the lost revenue for reserved seating fees. In what way is that fair?

Yes, BA allocate seats for parents with small children 5 days prior to flying - which is when I found out I was seated behind mine. I could, of course, have waited til 24h prior and changed the seats for free - but given the vicissitudes of the BA website, and its predilection for crashing on me at that point, it wasn't worth the risk. So yes, I didn't have to pay the extra $210, but if I hadn't, and then still hadn't been able to get 3 seats together in the 24h prior to flying, I would have spent a 24h flight separated from one or other of my children (as I wouldn't have left the 3yo with his brother, I'd have had to move the 8yo to be on his own, poor kid!)

Happily, I didn't face the same problem on the return flight - we were automatically booked into a 3-seat window row. Which is what I would have expected them to do anyway.

I refuse to put up with this sort of crap

Absolutely your perogative. However you cannot expect others who choose to pay to move for you. Your risk, your consequences.

These threads bug me

If you want to guarantee you sit by your child you pay

End of

And yes either side of the aisle is beside your child - with a small gap

Actually OP doesn't need to pay, she was sat next to her child. ( she was unhappy that it was across the isle)

OP read the guidelines that they will sit families together and she expected an ajacent seat.

OP now understands, what an airline means when they say, sat next to.

OP now knows that she should have checked in earlier to hopefully avoid it.

And finally when it all fails the cabin crew will move everyone around to accommodate the three year old.

We live and learn OP.

On the two flights I've taken recently I've paid so that we are guaranteed to sit together, ds is 10 & I still pay!

On both flights I've had someone sitting in our booked, paid for seats, one couple insisted they sit together as the woman was terrified of flying, one family wanted to sit next to their teenage daughter, both families obviously hadn't pre-booked!

It really winds me up that certain people feel entitled, if you want a guarantee, pay up! I'd certainly pay extra to make sure I was sitting next to my child.

These threads alway baffle me as we regularly travel with 3 budget airlines and never pay for pre-booked seats on the basis that we are all old enough to manage without each other for a few hours so really couldn't care less if we are at opposite ends of the plane. To date we have never had a single journey where we have not been given seats together when we check in on-line regardless of whether it is an airline which only allows check in 36 hours before boarding or one which checks in up to 30 days in advance.

Do you all leave checking in til the last minute in order to be in this position?

Your situation is hardly relevant to the OP though, is it BigBlueBus - unless you have a 3yo who you feel is old enough to manage without the rest of you for a few hours?

IMO if a child is too young to put on their own oxygen mask they must be seated in reach of a parent for safety reasons. If parents are expected to pay for this then it should be mandatory when they buy a ticket, but most airlines do this anyway.

I always pay the extra few quid to make sure we are sat together when we fly, even when we just fly with me and DH rather than the kids.

However, I do think its quite unusual for them to seat a 3 year old away from their parent/carer (about the different row) and honestly, seated across the aisle is quite bad too really given people are always hovering round in the aisles and the big trolley would block your view of them for a fair while.

In future, I guess you will have to pay for being seated together, although really commons sense would say a child that young would be sat with you anyway :S

Surely the simplest thing would be for airlines to spell out exactly what is meant by the wording 'you will be seated with your child' (or whatever the words are), rather than burying this definition, or referring to CAA guidelines, in the small print? Adding an explanation in bold type such as note that this means you may be seated across the aisle, or in the row behind or in front of your child would leave no room for doubt. You could then decide if you're happy to take a chance on the 'across the aisle or behind/in front of' bit - or if you want to pay extra and sit side by side (not across the aisle).

In the OP's case, she wasn't 'entitled'; she just didn't realise exactly what 'seated with' means in this context. I expect she's not the only person who's been caught out by this!

a lady at our last flight ... kicked up a stink saying her dc is ill and therefore she needs to sit in the front of the plane and next to dc. 'ill you say' asked the attendant at the gate 'sorry you can't fly without dr certificate...'

I'm told this is a pretty standard response when it's clear someone's really trying it on - all the same, good on the cabin crew

Just a thought, but has anyone who's watched a parent insist that someone needs to move so they can be with their kids seen them offer to reimburse the "mover" who's paid for their chosen seat ... ?

in the seat behind

If across an aisle is seen as too far to help a child with an oxygen mask and it's safety concern , what about adults flying with several children, leaning over one seat with one child in to reach another to help with masks, is further than reaching across an aisle, especially on budget airlines where the aisle is tiny.

That's probably why airlines feel across an aisle is "together" If parents are able to provide all their child's needs, taking to toilet, fastening belts,oxygen mask, discipline, etc when they have the seat in between occupied with another dc, then is it impossible for them to do the same across an aisle that's less distance away?

Evacuating in an emergency always bothers me because even though we are sat together, every fucking time people push and push when we get out if seats and rather than wait for the three of us to be out, they keep pushing dd and we all end up separated.

Fwiw I think anyone who is dependant on being near an adult to be able to fly, be that a disabled adult or small child shouldn't have to pay extra. It doesn't sound like the OP was required to pay extra and on the return flight they did sit her next to her dc, the Op isn't happy with together meaning across an aisle so doesn't feel she was sat next to him.

Jesus! Flying is traumatic enough for me without people expecting me to move because they were too tight to pay for a seat! I pay for a seat next to DH because I'm terrified of flying, there is no way I would move from that seat - I would rather leave the flight than sit on my own.

Ridiculous to suggest you can placate a 3 yr old when you're across aisle from them!

Having flown with a three year old across the aisle from me on 4 occasions (and then a 5 year old, 6 year old, 7 year old etc across the aisle on subsequent years) I think it's ridiculous to suggest you can't placate a child from across the aisle.

The aisle is about half a metre wide. My child is further away from me when we sit on opposite ends of the sofa.

I've held hands across an aisle at take off and landing. I've lent into the aisle to open my child's food. I've even changed my child's clothes with both of us seat-belted into our seats with an aisle in between us (this is actually easier than doing the same with the child seat belted into the seat next to you).

Your child being half a metre away from you, within arms length, in plain sight, is really not a big deal.

And to all those who think it is, I'd add again..... how do they expect single parents with three children to sit on a flight?

Dragon therein lies the difference. I refuse to out until with this sort of crap.

Instead others then have to put up with crap from moaning parents, who refuse to pay a few more pounds thus delaying the flight or making us feel uncomfortable. This really is a case of needing to be considerate to fellow passengers.

I agree with Nicki on most things but I have to admit this is something that annoys me. I fly alone quite a bit - mostly domestic but occasionally to Europe - and I know I'm a target for being asked to move. If I've paid extra for a window seat, which on a slightly longer flight I do, it puts me in a tricky position as although you can refuse it tends to lead to this sort of rippling disapproval and is uncomfortable to listen to. Most unfair of course.

I didn't realise that booking together was needed either. Just assumed the airline would sit child with one of the adults in our large group. But after one v stressful flight learned the error of my ways!

balletcats I don't often fly alone but recently that was the beauty of a window seat, I actually had an empty seat next to me and the woman in same row chose the aisle seat of that row but I'm damned if I'd move disapproval or not!

We all have the capacity to check in, pay extra etc to reserve our seats before flight leaves, not to be so belligerent and inconsiderate as OP who expects the air stewards to revolve around her so her and her DC can sit together.

Wasn't going to mention this but will, got half sister who's cabin crew on charter flights (monarch), she says generally all children are sat with an accompanying adult and they try to accommodate parents and children, she says in some cases where they obviously don't precook seats or check in she's had aggressive looks and even been sworn at for not seating a family together. She also has a DH and DC so isn't oblivious to family holiday travel. She also said cabin crew don't "leave a child alone or uncared for" re safety aspects.

ballet that is my point exactly. I used to move to try and accommodate others but if you are one of the few solo travelers it just starts to take the piss a bit. Moving to the middle row 2 seats in at the back downwind of the loo on a long haul flight is not a reasonable request or a fair swap.

And yet if you don't move you get the antagonistic huffing and sighing from parents.