To not care about moderate swearing

[Selfimproved]

Just had a message from mum in class asking how we feel about our kids (f9) being shown a clip in music where the singer sings/ mumbles 'fuck' once.
I asked my son and when he explained it, it was two examples of the same song. One original blues version, one nirvana version.
I know the kids see and hear worse at home / in music videos. I can't get worked up about this. I know this mum will kick up a fuss.

I love a good therapeutic swear. And I have a degree and shit.

Swearing increases pain tolerance

That type usually lacking education, inteligence or whit.

You really should proofread before posting when making such bold statements!

7 good reasons to swear

Fwiw, my mum was of the "wash your mouth out with soap" approach to swearing. I fucking love being old enough to have a good swear without threat of retribution these days!

When ds was 7 or 8 he was picking up bad language. DH said he should know the meaning of and how to spell every word he used and sat him down with a dictionary and pad. DH faltered over bugger - not a,word generally regarded as too bad.

At 11ish, DS got the look from me over the "f" word and rolled his eyes and said "mum, it's just an Anglo Saxon term for copulation".

oh dear. DS2 is 6 and at inset day at a creche in his dads school made a bracelet. It was lovely and had word blocks and flowers on it. The only slight issue was that the words spelt 'fuck my piggy'

I have precisely no idea where he got it from, but tbh hand wringing over 13 yo hearing the word fuck at school is really rather OTT.

Oh and DS2 was spoken to about the bracelet and was rather shame faced

Jelly,
My experience is certainly contrary to that American study. I would suggest that if you wish to be considered reasonably intelligent and erudite then you should avoid profanity... a lot easier than carrying around dubious "research" articles!

Cake. Fuck. Which word is bad? Why?

Give me an educated, reasonable answer.

Jady
Though the entomology of specific examples vary profane words are those accepted by convention to cause offence, disrespect or disengederous intent to the directly intended or casual recipients.
Though this is not a textbook answer it's perhaps a good pointer of how to behave in public. If you intend to offend a specific recipient there are many options available to you without resort to profanity. Resorting to profanity generally infers a lack of consideration of other unintended recipients and a issues articulating one's point properly.

Today 01:33 ladyjadey

""Cake. Fuck. Which word is bad? Why?
Give me an educated, reasonable answer.""

Engineersthumb has answered this.

However, go into a school and say "I fancy a cake", then say "I fancy a fuck" and you'll most certainly be asked to leave, on the second one and they'll explain why.

Cake. Fuck. Which word is bad? Why?

cake, vocabulary word, stored in vocabulary area of the brain

fuck, word recognised as implying aggression, stored in the area of the brain associated with aggression, not a vocabulary word.

It isn't unheard of for stroke victims, depending on what area of the brain is damaged, to either lose the use of all vocabulary words and retain the use of swear words, or lose the use of all swear words, and retain the use of vocabulary words, because they are stored completely separately in the brain.

I've known several patients who can only swear. The other way around isn't so noticeable.

Really can't get worked up about this but then I swear like a trooper and so did my parents. I never swore in front of teachers or grandparents etc because my mum told me not to.

I won't be curbing my language in front of my son.

I also think it's hilarious when people say that swearing indicates a lack of education or intelligence.

I know plenty of alternatives to "fuck", I just happen to think there are some situations when nothing but the word fuck will do.

Engineersthumb. My previous comment used some swear words because we are talking about swearing. My point was that essentially all the arguments against swearing on this thread so far have been basically that swearing is stupid. I was trying to suggest that that isn't the most robust argument against something.
Your next post said that I had marked myself out as a certain type.. Lacking education, intelligence or "whit"
That was a pretty rude and humourless thing to say and I still don't think it's much of an effective argument for your cause.

I think it would be a very unusual situation indeed for a 13/14 year old to never have heard the word fuck.

I personally believe that we speak a number of varients of language depending on the audience we have. This also, to me, explains the nuances of why you can tell one person's written language from another's. It also explains why we write a business letter using different vocabulary and sentence structures as we would do in a text to a friend or a post on Mumsnet.

For this reason, we can see why it's unusual to use swears in front of young children, or in front of other people's children. Or in front of elderly relatives or a priest. People might, but then they'd be using another form of language entirely; a language chosen to intimidate and shock. That's not based on the individual words, but how they are used.

At 13/14, children are have already learnt the different forms that they might use to their teachers or their parents or their friends' parents. You can see Kevin and Perry as a supreme example of this use of diverse languages depending on audience.

I personally swear a lot in my usual, day to day, language. Now my son is 11, I expect him to swear freely, but I also expect him to be able to identify and use these different forms of language correctly. I do not expect him (and would be angry with him) to swear in front of teachers or his elderly and loving grandparents. I expect him to use the appropriate form of language for certain situations. I personally do not ban specific words to outside of any acceptable form of language. I'm not sure what that would teach him.

I do expect him, as in, I am not surprised by, to swear in front of his friends. I also expect him (not surprised by) him to swear in front of me. To me, it is a vital part of understanding where I am, at that moment, to him.

In my opinion, the use of swearing is an important part of demonstrating social and emotional intelligence. Society, for better or worse, has evolved various rules around swearing that often are very subtle. There's nothing inherently bad about swear words - - they are just noises - but rather the extent to, and context within which, they are used signpost an individual's membership of social groups, desire to comply with social norms, and recognition of those norms.

The extent to which an individual abides by those unwritten rules helps others to get measure of them. For example, someone who freely used swear words in contexts deemed inappropriate by these unwritten rules is either showing an ignorance of those rules or a deliberate disregard for them, and others will respond to that individual accordingly depending on either their ignorance or the extent to which they hold these rules to be important.

Reported. Why on earth you people think we'd bother clicking any of those links, or that we're stupid enough to believe any of it I have no idea.

engineers, entomology is the study of insects. Etymology is the study of the origin of words. You are not as erudite as you think you are. I would not ordinarily point out something like this, but since you seem to enjoy ignoring research evidence in favour of your own experience and maintaining the 'people who swear are ignorant fallacy, I feel that you are undermining your own arguments a little.

Wow You got me... I made a typo at 3.30am! The link posted was an article not a published paper so hardly a reliable source! But you rather missed my point. Using profanity will give the impression that you are ignorant. It's the social equivalent of dropping litter... and often practiced by the same individuals.

That mum must be living on another planet devoid of other people, TV, films and pop music. Weird.

engineers I posted the link to the original research paper upthread. You ignored it. Your statement about the impression that using profanity gives is just that - a statement, based on personal opinion and devoid of context. In many situations, profanity will indeed give a poor impression of a person. In many other situations, it will not. Life is not as simple as you might like it to be.

I think at 14 they will be hearing lots of swear words so I'd be tempted to use it a chance to talk about swear words and their usage - did the word change the meaning or emphasis of the song? What might it suggest about the state of mind of the singer? It then opens a fab learning opportunity about swearing and its context. Then you are not condoning using bad language but exploring what purpose it has in communication.

I suppose all of the "omg, swearing is only for ignorant people" responses are all part of maintaining the taboo. Since that is what gives swearing its power.

Interesting challenge in an educational context though, since allowing it validates it and helps to reduce the taboo status.