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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner wants to throw the baby's doll away

71 replies

QuestionableMouse · 09/09/2016 14:12

My three month old son has a little doll that his nana bought for him a couple of days ago. My partner has just told me he's going to throw it away 'because he doesn't like it.'

I told him that he's being childish and that I'm upset with his attitude. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Jinxxx · 09/09/2016 14:56

Now my immediate thought was that DP must seriously dislike OPs mum to feel so strongly about a present from her. In which case, he could have good reason, conceivably. If it really is homophobia, has this really only just surfaced? I too am surprised he hasn't shown his colours before now.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 09/09/2016 15:02

Buy your DS a pink Babygro and see how that goes.

Sounds like a rather twattish attitude to me!

purplefox · 09/09/2016 15:03

Why is your partner such a dick?

KoalaDownUnder · 09/09/2016 15:04

Are you serious?!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 09/09/2016 15:08

Dolls are pretty creepy. I'd hate to have one in the house.

Might sound a bit OTT but a god 20% of the great horror movies start with a slightly iffy doll.

Has anyone read about Robert the Doll?

SleepFreeZone · 09/09/2016 15:10

I always think this is less to do with the belief it turns the kid gay and just much more to do with other peoples opinions. My MIL gets quite animated about my sons having 'girls toys'. I on the other hand enjoy nothing more than letting my sons play with anything and everything and secretly smile to myself when other people start pearl clutching.

Luckily I have a DP who also couldn't give a shit and my children have dolls, a dolls house, play kitchen, pretend babies in a pram, the works.

Caipora · 09/09/2016 15:13

Well he's not being childish because most children like playing with dolls.

My 3 year old loves his baby doll. He carries him everywhere, sleeps with him and pushes him around in a dolls buggy. He says he is being daddy, the person he idolises most.

You need to tell your DH that the 1950's called and asked him to come back, they miss him. Hmm

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/09/2016 15:15

I have thought about this recently my partner every christmas wanted me to buy the girls dollies and baby Annabelle. Now we have a boy he wants to buy him little toy soldiers. My little boy like brushing my hair but that don't mean he will be a hairdresser later on.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/09/2016 15:16

SleepFreeZone You're family sound so sweet.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 09/09/2016 15:19

Blink owl, it's just a little soft stuffed doll, not something like a tiny tears. Basically a Teddy but doll shaped iyswim.

Partner won't elaborate on I don't like it and is now sulking!

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 09/09/2016 15:22

Maybe he's the one who is the right age for the doll Hmm.

KoalaDownUnder · 09/09/2016 15:23

Gosh, he sounds like a real grown-up. Hmm

powershowerforanhour · 09/09/2016 15:23

If he dares throw it away I would be enraged and blitz the place with as many pink bibs, babygros and blankets as my friends, relations and baby group pals with older female children could muster.

Caipora · 09/09/2016 15:23

Partner won't elaborate on I don't like it and is now sulking!

Because he knows he is being unreasonable!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/09/2016 15:26

I had a discussion about similar issues early on with my husband, but about a toy pushchair. I said if DS1 wanted one, he could have one - DH had a bit of a "fit" about it, up until the point I reminded him that he pushed the pushchair too, was he saying that made him gay/weak/girly or whatever his stupid objection was?
He did actually think about that, and then said "ok but not a pink one". Which is still a bit Hmm but I don't like pink anyway so it bothered me less.

As it turned out, DS1 never wanted a pushchair, so we didn't get one. Got him a toy Henry and a toy kitchen though!

RegTheMonkey1 · 09/09/2016 15:27

My husband's father wouldn't let him have an Action Man because - you know - it's basically a doll, and boys don't play with dolls ...

Alachia · 09/09/2016 15:31

Mykingdom, I doubt I'll be able to now I've remembered it's here. I think it might be in the loft. Maybe it's digging through the bedroom ceiling with it's tiny doll hands.

Willow2016 · 09/09/2016 15:31

Aww buy the lickle didums a doll for himself, maybe he is just jealous?

But do make sure that it is one that is certified that doesnt turn boys/men 'gay' overnight, you have to think of the scandal!

As a cm the boys all fight over who gets to push 'the baby' (doll) in the pink (Shock) buggy, put her to bed, feed her etc.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 09/09/2016 15:32

It's weird because he's not normally a knob. This took me by surprise!

OP posts:
CafeCremeEtCroissant · 09/09/2016 15:36

This would cause quite serious ructions here because it would show a fundamental difference in our outlook on life. I couldn't be with a 'man' who thought there was a problem with his son having a baby doll or his daughter having trains/cars/footballs.

Surely this isn't the first time he's shown what a sexist twat he is though?

Soubriquet · 09/09/2016 15:37

Some men get very freaked out about their boys playing with "girls toys"

Before I had my dc, my Dh was adament, that if he ever had a boy, he would not be playing with dolls.

He's older and much wiser now and admits he was a twat.

If my ds wanted a doll, Dh would be the first out there buying him one

SandyY2K · 09/09/2016 15:44

My first thought was to tell him it's not for him to like and he (DH) won't be playing with it.

But .... lots of men don't want their sons playing with traditional girl's toys or even owning them.

If I'm honest I'd never buy a baby boy a doll or doll type teddy. It's best to go for a traditional teddy bear.

Memoires · 09/09/2016 15:58

Why is it best, Sandy ?

alfagirl73 · 09/09/2016 16:03

My friend's little boy (2) has a little baby type doll. He's so lovely with it, looks after it, pretends to feed it, cuddles it - is generally very loving with it. His baby brother was born very recently and you should see him with the baby! He's so loving... he feeds his little brother, looks out for him - he's only 2 but his "looking after" his doll has seamlessly transferred over to him looking after his baby brother.

For the record, this little 2 year old boy also loves dinosaurs, trucks, going exploring, and sharks. He is a very well rounded, intelligent, funny and well-behaved little boy.

I say let kids play with what they want; they only see them as "toys" - it's adults that push this silly "girls' toys" or "boys' toys" thing onto them.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 09/09/2016 16:04

Nope, I don't believe that Sandy. He has a few traditional Teddy bears and he's not interested in them. He likes the doll because it's small, light and soft.

OP posts: