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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have stopped reading to DCs years ago?

98 replies

ThereWasAnOldLadyWhoLived · 09/09/2016 13:38

www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2016/sep/09/how-old-is-too-old-for-a-bedtime-story
DCs (7 and 9) can read. Do read. Which means I now have more time to watch boxsets read myself. AIBU to think it's too much to read older DCs a bedtime story? Or is everyone at it (and eating kale )

OP posts:

liz70 · 09/09/2016 17:33

"Being read toby someone who can stop and explain difficult words and cultural referencesmassively expands the range of the kind of texts they are able to access."

On the odd occasion that DD3 can't read a particular word, which isn't very often now, I or DH will say it out loud and explain the meaning.

She actually insists on reading to me/us herself, and only lets me or DH read to her if it's getting late, or she's tired. She's a very clear and expressive aloud reader too. TBH she could probably read to nursery and P1 children.

madcapcat · 09/09/2016 17:40

Don't think this has been mentioned yet but it's also really good for developing good listening skills. All our language teachers commented on how much better my brother and I always did on listening comprehension exercises than our language level would suggest and we both believe it was because our dad read to us regularly for many years (in addition to private reading time)

Mummydummy · 09/09/2016 17:46

I think I carried on reading to my DS till he was about 10 - as long as he would let me really. Reading those young James Bond books by Charlie Higson and other thriller or comedy type books - it had started to get more interesting at that point after years of the Little Red Train and Captain underpants! His older DD would often end up hanging about listening as well - we had a lot of fun. Even though it was a bit of a chore I did love the closeness and the little gossipy chats about the day, larking around, dance routines learnt at school, it was my chance after a day at work to totally focus on them - a lovely shift in mood. Miss those days.

QueenOfToast · 09/09/2016 17:49

I love books (and the sound of my own voice) and will read anything, to anyone, of any age

Unfortunately my DCs (aged 14 and 12) refuse to let me read to them now because they say that my voice is annoying However, DS1 has to read Hard Times for school this term and has wanted me to read a few chapters out loud to him.

I'm probably a bit of a weirdo but I draw the line at eating kale.

Blueberryblueberry · 09/09/2016 17:54

Mine are still little but I don't think there is an upper age limit really... I remember being read to by lecturers during my English lit a level and degree (sometimes in a culturally appropriate accent which I think is the adult version of "doing voices")

OvO · 09/09/2016 18:01

My 11 year old only sometimes wants read to, or he'll listen in on his little brothers story. I'd be happy to keep reading to him but he likes reading to himself mostly.

Still read to my 8 year old and don't see that changing anytime soon. We still share a bed so there's no escaping the bedtime story, no matter what the time!

I love when my 8 year old compliments me on my reading - I have good expression apparently.

Charley50 · 09/09/2016 20:20

Aw I loved reading to my DS, it was a nice cosy bonding time. He actively stopped wanting me to read to him around 11.5 - 12, before this I read to him most nights. This thread has inspired me to ask him if he fancies a reading night with me once a week instead. I'm pretty sure he'll say no though.

SabineUndine · 09/09/2016 20:23

I've always been a keen reader, but I barely remember my mother reading to me. She told us stories, but she didn't read to us much. YANBU if your DCs are happy to read for themselves.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/09/2016 20:37

Dd is 9and is nearly free reading, she has ASD and learning difficulties, and dev delays, I would rather she read to me than the other way round as she needs to work on her reading.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/09/2016 20:40

I am envious if those advanced readers though

insan1tyscartching · 09/09/2016 22:50

Aeroflot it sounds to me like your dd is doing great for you both.
Ds has autism and was diagnosed with LD's but could read stupidly early (he was only 2 ) I read Dr Zeuss books to him foryears as they were the only books he'd allow me to read to him. He's 22 now and I can still recite a lot of them from memory.

grumpysquash3 · 09/09/2016 23:38

Reading a bedtime book to 13 year olds? Really? Generally I am no longer surprised by MN, but this is a new thing for me....
For those who do read to their 13 year olds, how does it work? Do they get in their PJs, brush their teeth, lie in bed and listen to you reading???? What books do you read? And what time do you read them?
What happens after? Do you kiss them goodnight and they just snuggle down and go to sleep?
My teens go to bed stupidly late. There is no way I would read them a story at 11pm!

LordTrash · 09/09/2016 23:42

I can't stand kale but dd2 (11, just started y7) absolutely INSISTS that I read her a bedtime story. I suspect it's some subconscious anxiety about being in a transitional period and wanting to cling to childhood tbh, but I'm fine with it because I love reading aloud.

Dd1, on the other hand, was happy to drop it in about year 5.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/09/2016 23:49

Thanks isan sometimes she will refuse to read, and other timexx she will read to me. She tends to like short books or comics, she said novels are too hard. So I don't mind, as long as she's reading.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/09/2016 23:51

I know, reading to your teenagers 🤔, at that age I was reading Jilly cooper and other erm trash by myself, and I don't think I woukd have wanted mum reading to me about rampant sex and erm stuff at that age. After 10, then generally kids read to themselves.

thisagain · 10/09/2016 23:55

My children are 22, 14 and 5. I read to my 5 year old every night. I can't remember what age I stopped reading to the eldest two, but as each of then was 8 when the younger one come along, probably then since they were relatively advanced readers.

bloodyteenagers · 10/09/2016 23:56

I got sacked. Twice.
First time years ago, and one of mine loves to talk. She told me nicely to stop reading, and she would do it.. And boy did she. When the youngest was born she sat and read to him from day one for a few months.
The youngest sacked me when he was 4 or 5. his voices sounded better than mine according to him.

So now, every time a book gets mentioned in work, I am the first to volunteer to read the class story.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 11/09/2016 00:01

Dd(11) loves it when we get time to read to her, she will read to us too. It's particularly useful when reading classics (e.g. Animal Farm) because we can discuss the allegory. Haven't tried though since starting secondary so that boat might have sailed. There are still occasional words which she mispronounces because she has only read them herself so isn't aware that they don't follow conventional phonics rules.

Unfortunately we don't do it as often as we would like because dd(9) still struggles with reading so she has to read and be read to every night.

Ds (6) is a fluent reader but he still likes the ritual of reading to us and being read to, especially as he likes history, science, dinosaurs etc having two heads figuring out latin words is better than one.

Geraniumred · 11/09/2016 00:03

We still take turns to read to dd aged 12. My DH is superb at reading aloud. I am not as good, but dd loves it anyway. She is an excellent reader herself, but not reading all that much at the moment, so in a way I'm glad we still read to her.

DeliveredByKiki · 11/09/2016 00:08

Why the thinly veiled insult about eating kale and reading to your children

Mine are only 4&7, 7yr old reads to himself after school and before lights out, I read picture books to 4yr old after school and read to them both at bedtime books like Roald Dahl - DS's teacher told us we should carry on reading as long they want us too, as our reading levels are higher than theirs.

Also I bloody love reading children's books and making up voices for every character, can't wait to start on the HP books once DD is old enough

Geraniumred · 11/09/2016 00:12

I was reading the part with the night bus to dd in the garden one evening this summer (as it was very hot) and next door were in their garden enjoying it too!

Selenatwins · 12/09/2016 16:16

I read to my nine year old twins, I try to alternate traditional books with silly stuff, iykwim? Right now we're reading The Uncommoners, and we're going on next to a Dr Who story, then we're onto Harry Potter Cursed Child 'as long as I do the voices'. We love that time in the evening. They can both read well and read all sorts. I hope to continue as long as possible!

oriol · 12/09/2016 16:26

still read to mine from time to time 12,13,15 (not the 17 year old) its just a nice time snuggled up together.

BastardGoDarkly · 12/09/2016 16:45

My eldest is 9 and he can read, not war and peace, but he's a good reader, we take it in turns to read pages, and both cherish that time together. We have a laugh at the characters (Roal Dahl ATM!) And conversations come about. I wouldn't give that up just yet, and nor would he :)

My 5 year old DD in finds reading a bit of a chore, as she's actually learning, so doesn't get the same enjoyment

Esspee · 12/09/2016 17:10

My mother used to read to my brother when he was in secondary school to get him through his English literature exams. He hated novels. Luckily his aversion didn't prevent him finishing up with a science PhD. 😀

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