Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have stopped reading to DCs years ago?

98 replies

ThereWasAnOldLadyWhoLived · 09/09/2016 13:38

www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2016/sep/09/how-old-is-too-old-for-a-bedtime-story
DCs (7 and 9) can read. Do read. Which means I now have more time to watch boxsets read myself. AIBU to think it's too much to read older DCs a bedtime story? Or is everyone at it (and eating kale Confused)

OP posts:
Mookbark · 09/09/2016 15:25

I still read to my 7 (almost 8) year old every night, we are working our way through the Harry Potter books at the moment. He's a good reader, but enjoys me reading these.
i haven't read to my older two for years - they are 12 and 14. I think they were of a similar age when they din't want me to read to them any more. TBH, when we have finished Harry Potter (on book 5 at the moment), I don't know whether he will want me to read to him or not. However, i will keep reading to him as long as he wants me to.

MaryTheCanary · 09/09/2016 15:42

Kids' reading fluency doesn't catch up with their listening fluency until they are approaching secondary age. Being read toby someone who can stop and explain difficult words and cultural referencesmassively expands the range of the kind of texts they are able to access. It is amazing for their vocabulary and general knowledge. And reading with kids is fun and makes reading into a normal part of the family's day to day habits.

maddiemookins16mum · 09/09/2016 15:44

9 maybe, 7 no. I read to DD until she left primary school. She'd be embarrased now (12) but I loved it when she was younger and think she did too, it was a major part of an easy 15 minute bedtime routine that we started really early and never had issues with (lucky more than anything). In fact one of her favourite after school activities was our Wed pm library visit followed by tea and cake in M and S Bromley just across from the library.

objectsintherearviewmirror · 09/09/2016 15:46

DS is 6 but very competent reader (reading age approx 12) but I still read to him every night and can't see myself stopping any time soon. He loves to snuggle and listen to the story, we discuss the book and I am convinced by research which suggests that reading to children, regardless of their reading ability, helps them develop their reading skills further. Am with woodacorn in wondering whether reference to Kale eating was a veiled insult.
Whilst I don't think you're BU in not reading to your child, I do think it's sad that people stop reading to their children once those children can read or that others don't read to their children at all. That might be because I personally love reading though and does DS, not meant as a judgement of people who don't.

insan1tyscartching · 09/09/2016 16:16

I read to all mine until they were ten or eleven. Usually it was the transition to secondary and them feeling too grown up for bedtime stories was what killed it off. I'm an avid reader, my children much less so and so it was a great way of passing on the books I loved without them making any efforts themselves.

Jenniferturkington · 09/09/2016 16:22

I read to my 7 & 3 year old every night. My 9 year old usually comes through to listen too.
I teach year six and always finish each day with story time, they love it.

CaptainBrickbeard · 09/09/2016 16:27

I'm an English teacher and reading aloud to a class is an absolute delight. The most surly 16 year olds enjoy being read to. I think it's really important.

nosyupnorth · 09/09/2016 16:31

When I was about 7/8 I got impatient with being read to by my mum because I could get through two chapters reading by myself in the time it took her to read one aloud so she left me to it. I missed it afterwards but by then it was too late. My brother stopped being read to on a regular basis at about the same age, but when I visit for the holidays still likes for me to read to him every once in a while.

I think encouraging independent reading once they're old enough for it is great but that doesn't mean the stories have to stop. A bedtime story every single night might not suit you or them but that doesn't mean a full stop.

Personally I'd advocate making one or two nights a week story time so they still get the experience of family reading and getting a story out loud, while keeping other evenings free for individual activities.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 09/09/2016 16:35

We still read with the 8.5 year old. All ours read/are read to every night. It's one of my favourite bits of being a Mum!

WhooooAmI24601 · 09/09/2016 16:37

10 and 5 and I read to them both every night. DS1 reads to himself often but I just like the sound of my own voice, so have no plans to stop. DS2 chooses 3 books each night to read with me, but has recently started looking at 'older' books like the BFG, so we're doing a couple of chapters each night. I love his taste in stories, and the fact that he reads alongside me to ones like Tiddler and Stick Man.

In seriousness I love bedtime stories. DS1 has ASD and I find bedtime is the time he winds down and chats about other stuff; whilst it looks like I'm only ready Charlotte's Web for the fifty third time, what I'm actually doing is giving him time to talk on his own terms, and it helps him get stuff off his chest so he can go to sleep and rest more easily.

DamsonInDistress · 09/09/2016 16:37

I have two reasonably advanced readers (10 & 8) but it's surprising how much they still enjoy being read to, especially when it's it's a book slightly out of their comfort/ability as a pp mentioned. It's a shared family activity, a way of connecting with them after a long day. It doesn't happen every night nowadays, but we still do it once or twice a week. They particularly enjoy snuggling in our bed with us as part of it, and we try and pick books that they don't read at school, precisely so that it isn't a chore for them - they see it as separate and pleasurable. It's also good for them to hear how adults read aloud, with intonation, expression and intrepretation. We try and get them to read to us too, it's surprising how much you can pick up on gaps in their expression and understanding still.

sunnydayinmay · 09/09/2016 16:38

I read to my 9 year old. Not every night, but we work our way through books he wouldn't necessarily enjoy otherwise. Read to my eldest on an off until year 6.

If you read Jane Austin novels, they were always reading to each other as adults. Forgotten form if entertainment.

If you chop up kale, and roast in the oven for a few minutes with salt, sugar, oil and nutmeg, it is basically crispy seaweed.

Gatehouse77 · 09/09/2016 16:41

I still occasionally read to my eldest at 15 but it was sometimes to get him going with a new book or to have 1-1 time with him.
My middle one stopped around 14 ish - her choice.
Youngest was around 12 ish.

All their choice or because they had later bedtimes and I was too knackered (watching TV, ironing, etc.).

If the kids done have a problem with it, then it's not a problem!

ArnoldRimmerBSc · 09/09/2016 16:43

I think it's really important to carry on reading to older children. It helps children learn the meaning of new words and how to pronounce them. English is unfortunately not a language that can be read phonetically.

gillybeanz · 09/09/2016 16:45

YABU, my dd still likes to be read to at 12.
Not a tuck you up read a bedtime story, but to help with practice comprehension.
I don't think they are ever too old, the reason, level and situation changes though.
My other 2 were the same, bedtime stories stopped at primary but we were still sharing books in one form or another when they were at secondary.

MaQueen · 09/09/2016 16:46

Can't really remember my parents reading to me once I started school?

Then again, at 8 I was assessed as having a 15yrs+ reading ability level (which was considered adult ability) so, technically, I could read as proficiently as my parents Grin

I read The Lord of the Rings when I was 9/10...

I haven't read to our DDs for years. They've always been high ability readers (I boot camped them), but neither is a huge fan of reading. They read what is necessary for school, but neither reads for pleasure at the moment.

I would love for them to read more...[weeps]

firawla · 09/09/2016 16:49

I still read to all of mine. Eldest is 8 but he would be upset if I stopped, although he could read the stories himself but he enjoys sharing that time with me and being able to chat about the books we've read (particularly Harry Potter etc)

TheSconeOfStone · 09/09/2016 16:55

I read to my DD who is nearly 9 and perfectly good reader. No boot camping required as she was behind until end of year 1 then raced ahead to be top of her year when she was ready (she has ASD and reading is her 'thing'). I still read to her sometimes. We are working our way through the Chronicles of Narnia and it's nice for me to go back to the much loved books of my childhood. It gives DD an opportunity to ask about different words and phrases and discuss the historical context.

DD2 has is just 6 and still getting to grips with reading so she reads to an adult then gets read to most evenings. I'm hoping she will get it soon so she can enjoy reading like the rest of the family.

There are lots of other improving things I don't do with my children though.

OlennasWimple · 09/09/2016 16:55

I've realised that I also hated having books read to me as a child (never went as fast as I could read on my own so I got impatient - I'm the same way sitting through a PowerPoint presentation or similar at work....) and perhaps that's why I stopped reading to my DC as soon as they could read chapter books to themselves at night.

imwithspud · 09/09/2016 16:58

My dc are only small and can't read so we still read to them. I imagine we will continue until they no longer want us to and are capable of reading themselves. I couldn't imagine reading to a 12/13 year old but if they enjoy it then there's no issue.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/09/2016 16:59

Dd, nearly 8, has very recently stopped being interested in me reading to her. She now walks off to read by herself when I'm reading her younger sisters, nearly 6, bedtime story.
Fine with me.
She devours books ATM, so I guess I read too slowly for her now.
She was a free reader since year 1 so I guess that makes a difference.

corythatwas · 09/09/2016 17:20

It's one of those things that are neither right or wrong: do it if you enjoy it, don't if you don't. I enjoy listening to a good reader, just as I enjoy watching a good actor on the telly or in the theatre: it is a skill.

MrsBertBibby · 09/09/2016 17:26

Still reading to my 12 year old at bedtime, then he reads to himself before lights out. It's lovely.

babymooner · 09/09/2016 17:29

Think this stems from Booktrust report yesterday? Does anyone know anything about the book they're giving to reception aged children? Heard about it on radio. Mine love bedtime stories (5, 7 and 9). And I love free booksGrin

Eolian · 09/09/2016 17:31

I have two very advanced readers. I stopped reading to dd (11) a few years ago but I still read to ds (8) because he likes it. He often likes to read himself the books I've already read to him.