7 year old walking home from school alone

[friendshipstruggle]

In a nice area, the school is within the housing estate with 1 small road to cross. The 7 year old is sensible, in Y3, but only just turned 7. Is it unreasonable to allow him to walk home with no adult? The parents around here have wildly opposing views on this and I'm interested to hear a wider opinion.

I think it is fine.Do people really not allow their 7 yo to walk anywhere alone?

I wouldn't but that's because parents drive like utter lunatics on the roads near the local schools here. Nothing to do with how responsible my child is or if I trust them.

The British attitude might be the reason why our schools are full of children who have no problem-solving or coping skills. I travelled from age 7 on a long bus journey to a city centre school and back, via the main shopping street and crossing lots of busy roads. If there were any problems I knew to approach a female passer-by or shout very loudly. Nothing ever happened to me or anyone I knew. From aged 5 I had to step over the local drunks to get up the stairway to my school, other than the occasional grunt they never paid us any notice. There are always risks in life, but a short walk to school for a child is a positive developmental step, not a huge risk.

I walked home from school across a small, very quiet road from age 5. School was about 3 minutes away. At 7 I was going across a couple of roads to the junior school. At 8 I was traveling by bus for an hour to a better school right across the city (I did once go awol for a whole day when I was 9 which gives me the fear when I look back on it... what the fuck was I thinking? I caught the bus down to the beach and stayed there all day. Forged a letter to the school. Not sure how I got away with any of that)

By the time I was at secondary school in London, the two buses and ridiculous convoluted journey I had seemed way less difficult as I had been used to independent travel for so long.

Every situation is different and each child reacts to independence in a different way. I would be more worried about the road than anything else - you say he can come back without crossing the road? I would make that the only way he's allowed for the moment. But ultimately you know your son better than anyone else. I would have let me son walk to school (if it was close) when he was about 7 - my daughter? No way in hell! She'd very likely go awol too!

Where I live you only need an adult to collect until year 2. So if they're in year 3 it would be fine, the teacher doesn't check if the child is being collected. However, they do check for after-school activities and I think you had to be in year 5 possibly even year 6 to be able to leave on your own after those.

I live very close to my son's old primary school and he would have probably been fine. But I only let him walk home on his own in the summer term of year 5.

All that said, Milly Dowler was 13. Caroline Hogg (Glasgow, 1980s) was 5. Any age child can be snatched.

I used to walk down a country lane without a pavement on my own at 8. But time have changed and what was acceptable then, isn't now. I'm not sure why we are so much more paranoid than other European countries though. Are our roads really so much more dangerous? Do we really have more paedophiles?

No I wouldn't allow it and neither would the school

I would OP, sounds like the perfect start to walking independence.

I was in Finland last year and it's unheard of to mollycoddle kids - even five year olds just headed off on bikes on their own to run little errands and so on. Completely normal

I live in Finland, and its true, there is much less mollycoddling of children (I'm sure there are some outliers of course). The other week my 5 year old rode her bike with her 8 year old friend across town to go to the friend's house, played there, then they both rode back to mine and later on, once it started to get dark the 8 year old rode home by herself. This included crossing a main road (with traffic lights and pedestrian crossing).

I live down the road from a lower primary school - all 6-8 years old (they start school the year they turn 7 so the younger ones will still be 6) and the vast majority of them are walking or riding by themselves or with friends after the first few weeks of school. The ones that aren't are the ones being picked up by car because they live much further away or are at the morning/afternoon clubs as their parents work longer hours. A fair number of those children will be going home to an empty house too but managing just fine.

My experience here the 9 years I've lived here (in cities, towns and now this small safe town) is that young children from around 7 or 8 are (usually - obviously special needs etc. will affect that) capable of assessing road danger and (from living in the city) can manage public transport just fine as well. Obviously I wasn't seeing the children who were not capable of doing those things though.

lovelyupnorth - 'I would and did. Great for their independence'.

Please dont listen to this. Either the poster is daft or extremely lazy and neglectful.

My Mother allowed me this 'independence" at this tender age (she was lazy and uninterested). I got sexually abused many times and haven't overcome it. Small children dont need independence at this age! They need to be looked out for and loved. . . at all times. Simple.

Please take care of your child, this is such a young age to put them in unnecessary danger.

I would be concerned about a school that let a 7yo out without knowing there was an adult there to collect them!! That would worry me a lot.

Most schools round here let older children (9-10yo) walk home if their parents have given permission.

No way in a million years would I let a 7yo walk home on their own.

Why are people shocked at the school letting them leave? It's the parent's decision whether to meet the child at the end of the day, presumably a child would only leave by themselves if they weren't expecting to be met.

As I said, our school allows Yr 3 children to leave alone. We live in a village, many children have no roads to cross to get home, many children walk together.

If I didn't have to collect yr 2 child anyway I'd absolutely let DS1 bring himself home.

Our school is also fine to allow a Year 3 out alone, if a parent requests it.

Ds1 was in Year 3 last year and from January he left his class alone...only to walk round to the other side of the school mind, within school grounds...but the school were fine with releasing him.

For a just turned seven year old I'd prefer for them to walk with an older friend. A nice bit of responsibility for the older child and a bit of independence for the younger one, ready for them to walk home on their own next year. I think it's just a cultural difference in the UK compared with other countries, not a risk based decision. If there aren't traffic issues I'd not be worried and I think it's sad how little freedom we give children.

Sorry op, my youngest (of 4) is 6. I wouldn't dream of letting him walk home alone. Not until secondary.

Hmm interesting. I wouldn't - traffic and I think they are too young to be aware. But then this year DS who is 8 asked to go to the shops with (slightly) older kids from our street, it's a 4-5 min walk, across two estate roads that are quite busy (one of them being the main road into the estate iyswim) and the shop is across from the pub.
I said no. He wasn't happy. I wasn't sure if I was right or not but it seems a long way for my PFB to go (am I being PFB??!?)

It is completely normal in all the schools in my area for children to be let out without an adult to collect them once they reach P4, so at the start of the year they would be 7 year olds. I wouldn't find that aspect of it worrying at all. I'd find it more worrying that primary schools expect a parent to meet a child at the school gates right up to the day they leave. I find that incredibly strange if I'm honest.

Having said all that, I wouldn't actually have allowed my 7 year old to walk home alone at that age. Interestingly, the first child in my child's class to be allowed to walk home alone was the child whose parents are both child protection social workers. They know the reality of safety issues, and they firmly believe that their children are safer having learnt independence from an early age.

We have reception & year 1 kids who walk alone , no school policy and home time is open door free for all no way to check who goes home with an adult .

I agree 7 is too young .

My Dd is about to turn 7 and begs me to let her walk to & from school on her own. We are a street away and there's a lollipop lady at the road. There are lots of parents walking kids to & from school so she'd be safe... But school won't allow it. We have to be seen to pick her up or they don't let her out the door. I walked to school, or got the bus if the weather was bad from age 5. It was just what people did then (80s) - I think it's really sad that kids can't get these small segments of independence. The worst school traffic here is for the local high school - when I started high school parents were nowhere to be seen.

I think the problem is that there are often not enough children allowed out, so there isn't sufficient critical mass to ensure they can look out for one another.

Is he sensible enough to learn some safety rules and use them no matter what? I was wandering around London at that age.
Anyone that persuaded me into their van to look at some puppies would have kicked me out again sharpish. But DS wouldn't have managed at the same age.

It depends in the child and the road. DD would have been fine at that age, but there is one big road to cross so I didn't let her do it alone until she was 9 at the end of Y4 (at traffic lights). I don't think DS would be sensible enough at that age.

I am frankly amazed at 'not until secondary'. I'm not sure what age I started walking to me gran's house (about a mile, with only minor road crossing) but it was roughly 7-8. We walked as a group until the last couple of minutes, which I did on my own.

I totally get that many 7 year olds wouldn't be ready for a route with many crossings, but a simple route? I think the parents should police that and not the school tbh (given written permission etc. - in my case DM was a teacher, but it was a written or verbal confirmation that X child was a walker and entitled to leave with that group).

I think 7 is young and agree with schools round here only releasing children to their parents until year 5. I'm split - 7 no way but at 11 I was getting the school bus the mile home - bit then there were other parents on the bus who knew when my stop was, and there was always a group of parents and kids getting on and off the same time as me anyway so I wasn't alone. There is no way I'd let a 7 year old walk home alone. A 10 year old depending on proximity to school and what kind of roads could be a good one - but I'd be loathe to let them walk further than 20 mins alone at that age tbh. I view going to the park with friends acceptable younger because they're in a group, and so would probably allow that scenario from 8/9

Far too young. The someone at home waiting for him needs to get their arse to the school and pick him up , you know, be a parent. You know that no matter how nice the area there are bad people everywhere. They specifically look out for children on their own and will watch to see if their movements are the same daily. I'm Like *YABVVU" says. I am also surprised at the school allowing it.

"Being a parent" also involves helping children gradually to become independent. Going over the route, discussing the risks, working out how to be safe, what to do if there is a problem. Letting the child take the lead on the walk home with you. Letting the child do the walk a bit ahead of you. Waiting for the child at the other side of the road, etc, until you are confident they can do it alone.

I wouldn't and I love opposite my school.