7 year old walking home from school alone

[friendshipstruggle]

In a nice area, the school is within the housing estate with 1 small road to cross. The 7 year old is sensible, in Y3, but only just turned 7. Is it unreasonable to allow him to walk home with no adult? The parents around here have wildly opposing views on this and I'm interested to hear a wider opinion.

DD started walking home alone when she was about that age - school 2 mins round the corner, small road to cross. A year later a man suffering from dementia became obssessed with her and we had to stay with her as the journey went past his house. (He had been a perfectly nice man until then it was rather sad.)

I let mine walk to school by themselves (although there are two of them) from the age of 7, but picked them up myself as I like to chat with other parents. We also live on the same estate as the school, with only one road to cross. To begin with, DH would walk them to the road and check they were being sensible and once he was satisfied that they could be trusted then they could go completely by themselves.

I wouldn't. I let my sensible 8 year old go to the park, which involves just crossing one road. I wouldn't contemplate letting him walk to and from school, which is next to the park, because of the amount of traffic at school run time. There are too many adults in a rush, and other children to distract him, to make me feel DS would be safe. I'd imagine all schools are similar.

I think just turned 7 is too young, esp if a road is involved. You don't say how long the walk is - that would be a factor too.
My ds walked home alone part of the way (I met him at a specific point) at 8 - 15 min walk with a couple of quiet roads with crossing points and lots of other kids about -, and once or twice the whole way due to circumstance: He was fine, and it was entirely in keeping with the norm here (abroad), but I didn't feel comfortable with it being a regular thing. We've moved now and his school is a 5 min walk round the corner so of course he comes alone. He also rides his bike to the bakery 5 min walk in the other direction. But there's a big difference (IMO) between just turned 7 and nearly 9.

A bit of perspective, it's quite accepted by statisticians that risks of abduction have decreased in comparison to the 1970s and the risks of injury/death from cars is possibly higher, not because people are less safe with cars, the reverse is true, but the sheer numbers of vehicles on the road.

A 7 year old, in general, is more likely to come to harm from moving vehicles than any weirdo.

However, would this be a 7 year old ALONE or with others? Being in a group is far safer than being alone. For me it's not a question of adult control but risk taking and people looking after people. If a 7 year old is in the company of others, not necessarily adults, then it's probably going to be fine, without having view personally of the planned route.

I'm not in the UK but my nearly 8 year old started going to and/or from school by herself last term. She does it occasionally on Fridays when I am home with DD2 to meet her when she gets in. For us it's about practising doing it, building up confidence in a controlled setting so that she can do it happily and easily when she needs to later on. She knows she can always tell a teacher at home time if she doesn't want to go by herself and I will come and collect her.
I wouldn't have an arangement where she needs to get herself home, unlock the house and let herself in just yet though.

Does anyone have any reasonable statistics on "stranger danger"? Are children more likely to be snatched off the streets walking home now than 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago? Everyone used to do this in "those days". I certainly walked home aged 7 (35 years ago) from primary school as did the vast majority of kids.

I don't think they are anymore likely to be snatched. However the argument that 'that's what people used to do' doesn't really hold up.

My dad grew up in a small village and kids were allowed to come and go as they pleased from a young age. They would play out in the countryside all day at weekends, walk themselves to school etc. Sounds great in some ways. However 4 children dad knew died before he was 11, from accidents.

So he wasn't going to let us have the same upbringing he had. While he has fond memories of his childhood, he still wasn't prepared to give us the same freedom.

The fact that something happened in the past, doesn't mean it should happen now.

Fwiw dad or I never heard of any abductions/attempted abductions growing up. But there have been two near my children's schools in the last 2 years. So yes, stranger danger is a real worry for some people in some areas.

No. Firstly my child will be 7 shortly, he is rubbish at looking for cars even though we have drummed it into him daily, secondly he would be scared walking alone, thirdly the school here wouldn't even let them go. They have to be 10 years old with a signed letter from parents left at school so they know who has permission to leave alone

The walk is about 5 mins if walking slowly. I actually grew up in Switzerland where children in reception walk to and from school on their own. Interesting that the majority think it's not ok.
If it was with a Y6 child and other children walking the same way, does that make a difference?
The school just let them out in Y3, so it's up to parents what they do.

And just to add, there's someone at home waiting, he wouldn't arrive to an empty house.

Not in a million years….

I've let mine but we live just across the road from school and there's a crossing.

When DS1 was in year three, him and a girl in their class walked home alone. She lived across the road right opposite school. Loads of parents complained about it because they were worried their child would try and walk home too.

I wouldn't, but at that age I used to walk my sister to school.... I wouldn't recommend that part, because it was too much responsibility, I had terrible anxiety all the time that she may have gotten out of school and would never be seen again.

At this age, could he deal with the responsibility to deal with his own safety to that extent?
What is he like with crossing the road etc?
What is your general attitude towards him being independent?- this would be one of the main things I would take into account, I'd want to see how my child was at taking other responsibilities before allowing them out of the house on their own.

Is it possible the first few times, you follow behind, and ensure that he takes proper care with the roads etc?

It may also be worthwhile, if he's walking on his own, the possibility of getting an iPhone for him, so you can face time when he reaches school. This way you are 100% sure he has arrived safely.

I've just seen that you grew up in Switzerland! I've actually read about the alternative education programmes where children as young as five walk to school on their own, spend majority of their school day in wooded areas, and have use of axes and saws etc. I believe it was first trialled in the 80s, and if I remember correctly about 80% of these children grew up to be in management positions... it seems like a great thing to aim towards, quite the opposite of how we generally bring up our children in Britain, but I think allowing our children the opportunity to take (safe) risks, allows them to grow, and gain confidence in their own abilities. You just have to make it as safe as you can for them....this is something I am trying to do at the moment. I'm a bit of a smotherer

I woulden't at that age, I don't think school will allow them to.

I think the difference between now and either the UK in the past or countries where it is expected for children to walk unaccompanied is the lack of people walking the same route.

I live in a town with no catchments due to the locations of the 5 primary schools. 2 are within a 2 roads of each other and 2 more are within 5 minutes walk of each other. The last school is at the other end of town.

The combination of parental choice and no catchment means that children are not necessarily at the same school as those who live around them (our nearest neighbours children go to 2 different schools to my own DC). So it is not unusual for us to be the only ones walking our route to school. And for them to be the only ones walking their routes.

Additionally, it seems more common for people to drive, probably because parents are continuing on to work or other commitments. So this further reduced the children walking the same route.

When I was at school (several decades ago), all the children on my road went to the same local school. So we all walked 'together'. From very early on the older children would be informally keeping an eye on the younger children. So we weren't alone but we weren't accompanied by adults.

Sorry that's very long but I can't think how to explain more concisely!

No way whatsoever would I allow this. The parent needs to be at the school not at home.

Yes, I'd let them - a 5 minute walk within a housing estate? Pretty normal to walk and call for your friend at around that age where I am, so walking home from school wouldn't be that different to me.

If there's someone at home and the school is five minutes away then I'd just walk and meet them at school.

Then you definitely know your DC is safe

The DTs school only allows year 5 and 6 to walk to and from school alone. They wouldn't release a child any younger from school until a named person came to collect them.

dd is 8, just started year 4 and FINALLY the school will let her walk to and from on her own.

We live 4 minutes walk form school, on the same block, our garden backs on to school field. Not only are there no roads to cross, but there are also 200 other school kids and families walking down the same route.

I persuaded school to let her walk home on Fridays last year (early finish here) and also to let her and her sisiter walk home from club (sister was year 6)

I know it depends enormously on the kid, some I would and some I wouldn't, depending on how sensible they were etc, but all the fear of 'stranger danger' is a pile of rubbish.

No more children are taken or harmed by strangers than there were in the 1950s. Most children who are taken snatched or harmed are assaulted by a family or friend. If you want to keep your kids safe, teach them never ever to get a lift from their friends dad, or anyone, unless you have told them to.

The group of kids who have the most accidents on the road are first year of secondary school. Kids who have never been allowed to walk anywhere suddenly having to walk to school.

I wouldn't let my child at that age. No way. Far too many idiots drive fast during the school run.

They don't allow it at my DCs school until year 6 anyway.

Our Yr 3 are allowed to walk alone (rural village).
Our old school they had to be Yr 5 (London suburb).

our school releases dc from year 3 after parent's permission.
if your dc is sensible and has practiced the school run, why not?

Thanks for all your responses, really interesting. I'm going to stick to allowing it occasionally but accompanied by the Y6 neighbour. It's a route we've done hundreds of times and the road can actually be avoided (and usually is, but I mentioned it as it's possible he may decide to cross it though usually walks round - it's a cul-de-sac)
I'm very keen on developing independence but the fact that at 4 I walked to and from school with no adult and crossed 2 main roads makes me wonder if my sense of danger isn't where it should be.
I still see some parents going to collect their Y6 children and I think that's crazy. In a year they will be getting on a bus on their own