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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL didn't get my child a birthday present

35 replies

sugarcoat21 · 07/09/2016 19:50

My MIL has always bought my children presents for birthdays, Christmas etc. This year we fell out in January. She sent my youngest a card and a cheque in May and even sent me a card. My son is 13th today and she sent him a card but no present! I'm fuming.

AIBU to think it so wrong to suddenly stop getting your grandchildren presents because you've fallen out with the parents?

OP posts:
KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 07/09/2016 19:52

Yes, but some peeps are petty beyond belief.

It's her issue, not yours. She has to live with being a douchebag.

usual · 07/09/2016 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soubriquet · 07/09/2016 19:54

Is it possible she's forgotten?

Ameliablue · 07/09/2016 19:55

Why did she get for you and your youngest but not your son? Did something further happen in between?

usual · 07/09/2016 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SabineUndine · 07/09/2016 19:55

Was your son involved in or the cause of the argument?

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 07/09/2016 19:55

Depends if she sees your children? She may have money or something set aside and wants to give it to her grandchild personally. My mum has a bank account for a grandchild she isn't allowed to see (due to mass family fall out)

Nanny0gg · 07/09/2016 19:58

Maybe she's finally acknowledging that you're NC with each other?

Is she able to see your children?

Becky546 · 07/09/2016 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MakeMyWineADouble · 07/09/2016 20:00

Did she get a thank you for the other 2 cards and presents? Seems very strange to keep buying presents after a fight then suddenly stop

Original poster
sugarcoat21 · 07/09/2016 20:45

My children aren't involved in the argument. We live 200miles away so we rarely actually meet up and she has never called to talk to them. Even though we weren't happy we still sent a Mother's Day card and present. It seems a bit harsh to suddenly stop. It's hardly going to help heal things.

OP posts:
MsJamieFraser · 07/09/2016 20:47

I don't get it, she sent a card, it's grabby to expect anything more from her.

If your not speaking then presumably you don't know her current circumstances.

WhatsMyNameNow · 07/09/2016 20:50

Did you respond when she sent the other presents?

RebelRogue · 07/09/2016 20:55

Did you say thank you or acknowledged in any way when she sent presents before?
Since the fall out was in january and she sent for you and other ds,i'd hold off the fuming and think something else might've happened.
P.s. She did send a card so what you're actually pissy about is money/ gift which is quite childish and grabby

Penfold007 · 07/09/2016 20:58

What does your DH say about his son being ignored?

MatildaTheCat · 07/09/2016 21:02
  1. Post is delayed or lost.
  2. Previous gifts were not acknowledged or thanked for.
  3. She expected a reconciliation after her previous gift and cards.
  4. She is unwell.
  5. She forgot.
  6. She's spiteful or mean and you should be fuming.

But although 6 may be the answer, there are alternative answers. Call her or get dh to call?

Original poster
sugarcoat21 · 07/09/2016 21:06

I'm not being grabby!

She has always given the children presents, how do I explain it to my 13yr old without bringing up the falling out. I don't want him to feel like she has fallen out with him to. DH isn't to happy but doesn't want to argue about something else with his mother. If we bring it up with her she will get satisfaction and I'm not giving her that!

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 07/09/2016 21:07

Just tell him his grandma forgot,or she just didn't have any money this time but still thought of him and sent him a card

Dailymailisacrapnewspaper · 07/09/2016 21:08

Maybe she thinks that 13 is the age to stop gifts? You wont know until you ask her. My MIL had stopped my children by 16 (so 15 was last year) as they were adults in her eyes and adults only get cards.

TathitiPete · 07/09/2016 21:08

Could the fact that it's DSs 13th birthday be significant? Possibly she's decided to stop doing gifts at this age.

1sttimedaddy83 · 07/09/2016 21:18

Your son is old enough to call his grandmother it's not him who she's fallen out with. Personally I think you should encourage him to call her for your husbands and sons sake.

MakeMyWineADouble · 07/09/2016 21:18

I still think something must have changed to suds lent stop either as pp said she stops presents when they are teenagers or if you didn't thank her for the last present so she's proving a point.

Dailymailisacrapnewspaper · 07/09/2016 21:18

How do I explain it to my 13yr old without bringing up the falling out

You say- granny has sent a card but not a present this year. We don't know why. She might have forgotten, she might think that at 13 you are too old for presents, there might be another reason. We can never assume that we will get presents (although we are always grateful when we do) and that sometimes people chose not to give them for lots of different reasons or sometimes they just forget.

And if he says is granny cross with me. You say- no I don't think so. She didn't give me or dad a present either.

Dont lie.

ThePinkOcelot · 07/09/2016 21:22

He's 13 not 3! Why do you need to explain?

3rdrockfromthesun · 07/09/2016 21:30

Umm could it be in the post? Could you get ds to call his grandmother and that way you can find out where it is?

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