To think I am stuck in Brighton as a gay parent?

[user1473113019]

We live in a lovely but very small 3 bed flat and with Brighton prices being so high will struggle to ever buy the spacious house / garden we would love. We have 1 baby but would love more and need more space. As a gay parent I am very nervous to consider living anywhere but Brighton (safe / normalised / accepted family set up here where our children will never feel they are unusual or different, which is so important to us). So, Aibu to feel 'trapped' here for these reasons or are their other cheaper areas we could consider where we wouldn't be the only gay family in the village?! Thanks in advance!

I live in a very remote corner of Scotland and no one is remotely bothered by gay DS or same sex parents.

I guess you don't want to move and be the only gay in the village, but really I wouldn't have thought that many people would bat an eyelid in this day and age. Live where you would like to live.

My parenrs live in a close-knit, small village in Lincolnshire. They recently went to the 1st birthday party their neighbours daughter along with plenty of other people in the village. Their neighbours are a lesbian couple. Honestly you'll be fine.

We are a gay family in a small town between Manchester and Leeds and there are plenty of gay families. We also meet up with other families from all around the area once a month or so up to about 30 families so our DS will know plenty of children with same sex parents. My parents also live in a small Lincolnshire village and my mum works in the nursery, out of 50 children about 5 have same sex parents.

Y'know I've had people ask me if we have fucking broadband. In fucking Manchester.

There's a whole country out there, and plenty of places have heard of homosexuality. Manchester has quite the gay community and a large Pride parade.

We are in farming area market town in the North. There are guys who hold hands in the streets and everything.

You are being U, you know. I understand why, but if you think it through... There are a lot of gay people in the world. They don't all live in Brighton.

Even twenty years ago in the traditional mining villages of West Yorkshire there were same sex parents, just as much part of the community as anyone else.

I live in South London. Know loads of same sex parents. No one cares in our area.

Thanks everyone, glad you all live in happy friendly areas, I will have to get on rightmove! I appreciate all your positive comments, although I'm not sure I agree that being gay and especially gay families is something that is accepted everywhere - my family live in the north east and we stand out like a sore thumb and my best friends and their little boy were spat at in Blackburn, lancs for being gay (they had homophobic abuse shouted at them). Also, only recently a gay teen was kicked to death for being gay in a Northern town. So, I think it's great that it seems the consensus is that no one bats at eyelid, in general, but it is certainly something I am concerned about and homophobia is certainly very much present, especially in some areas. I had considered Manchester but I was thinking it may be a real culture shock as we are very used to the South east (I don't mean or say that in a derogatory way), just that we see very marked differences when visiting family in the North East (Newcastle / Northumberland) and friends in Yorkshire and Lancashire, they are just very different to much of the south east, in my experience. Perhaps we may just move somewhere else near Brighton, although that's not overly courageous, small steps and all that! Thanks again everyone 😄

My daughter goes to a tiny CofE school in Yorkshire, and not only do we have same sex parents there, we have same sex grandparents....hers!

My mum and wife have had no problem, help out at school, do pick ups and they are known and liked by all the kids and parents.

While Brighton is nice (really nice, love it there) , round here you could get a 4 bed detached for £200k, fabulous schools, great community, fabulous inclusive town with tons happening, and the idea of bringing up DD anywhere else makes me sad. PM me if you like.

South London? Can get back to Brighton in an hour (Southern Trains willing...)

Do you own your place? If you still like brighton and/or need to work there for the moment, why not look to rent your place out and rent somewhere bigger not too far away, but far enough to get more for your cash?

OP, like a pp I am in a mixed race marriage, with kids and I totally understand where you are coming from.

We live in a lovely tolerant suburb in Manchester (that's already been mentioned) and no-one bats an eye at us, we looked at moving somewhere more rural but were put off by the racial divisions in some areas.

It's great that so many people are tolerant of different families, but not everyone is, and feeling safe where you live (and more importantly feeling that your kids are safe) is vital.

We live in a city in Berkshire (guess where ) and are good friends with a female gay couple whose son is the same age as DS1. They have never mentioned any issues and have lots of friends locally. On a personal note, my DC have never asked why their friend doesn't have a dad/has two mums; the former point is obviously not that unusual but the latter has been accepted by them without comment, which goes to show how kids just aren't fussed basically

Have you considered moving out of Brighton but staying in that area?
I live 30 mins from Brighton in quite a built up town but rural round the edges and there loads and loads of ''gay families''. It's really nothing new here.
I agree with pp that you need to have courage. Your DCs will admire you for it. X

Themagicfarawaysleep - thank you, that's really positive to hear! Wow, you get a lot for your money, to put it in perspective our 3 bed flat, with small garden and 2 reception rooms is now worth about 525k, it's not the whole house, it is a flat!!
Notcitrus - I just assumed that London would be even pricier / less for your money so am now googling south London, thanks!

I'm really liking the idea of Manchester but maybe somewhere very near a bit more rural so we could have some land (I'm obsessed with chickens as we always had ex battery hens growing up and I adored them and giving them their first taste of freedom was amazing!) but I have no idea if there are even ruralish areas near to Manchester! We both have desirable and transferable jobs so could work in a city. Cheshire looks nice as well (well from google anyway). Then on the other hand I feel totally panicked and sad about leaving and swear we will stay forever and ever and ever. Probably hormones talking there - in the 2ww.

Bizarrely, I live in Brighton and I only know it one same sex family at our (huge) primary school! In fact I don't even know of any others in the area at all.

Though the head and at least a few more of the teaching staff are also gay.

We're semi rural. Little market town 15 mins from Leeds, 30 mins from Sheffield and York and 45 mins from Manchester.

Chickens would be cool. My DD's school has chickens - to use the eggs for baking with the kids mostly. We had to look after them one weekend (long story). Within half an hour of getting them into our back garden, next door's dog jumped the fence and tried to eat one. Chicken was fine, but it cost me twenty bloody quid at the vets getting it checked out. Never again!

There are lots of rural-ish areas near Manchester which are gay friendly. Disley is just before the Peak District and on the commuter train line into Manchester city centre. Knutsford is a lovely town with a nice community, very gay friendly (my brother lives there and is married, gay and a parent to two), the outlying parts are very chicken-friendly with lots of space and again very close to Manchester.
Culture shock wise, yep the north has a different feel but in a no way backward, not accepting of different cultures or lifestyles.
I would recommend Bramhall, Cheadle Hulme, Chorlton, Didsbury, Northenden Knutsford, Hale, Altrincham, Disley (I used to live there and had chickens, ducks and for a time a pair of goats who ate our washing) and Mossley (my personal fave - it has developed into a mini Hebden Bridge) which are all around 30 mins into Manchester city centre using public transport and are v gay friendly.

My brother's ex got a kicking recently in London in a homophobic attack . Knobheads live everywhere. How about taking the October half term as an opportunity to drive around and get a feel for a few places, see what kind of place makes you feel comfortable?

I live in Bristol now (also very gay friendly IMO) but think the prices in the "good" areas may be comparable to Brighton and the school situation is a bit of a nightmare.