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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely furious

70 replies

WhatNowNorman · 06/09/2016 16:58

I have just had a call at work from DS (7) to tell me that the girl who lives next door has just thrown dog poo over the fence at him... it went in his ear and all over his neck. He was sick from the smell. DP has cleaned him up and is about to start cleaning the back door and side of the house.
I am 15 minutes away and wouldn't normally get home until 6pm.
DP won't involve neighbours as they have had words before and I am the calm one in our household... so he is just going to clean it up and not say anything....
I am so angry that by the time I can talk to the parents there will be nothing for them to see, my DP will have spent precious time on the last afternoon before DS's go back to school cleaning up and worst of all my poor DS has been made sick and covered in dog shit!!!
Am I over-reacting?? I am so cross!!

OP posts:
Lorelei76 · 06/09/2016 18:08

if it's not too late, your DP shouldn't clean the door
take a photo
show it to the neighbour

your poor lad.

CaptainCrunch · 06/09/2016 18:13

Why do you "despair" Arsicle? How happy would you be if you were in your garden and someone threw shit at you or your child?

Community policing is precisely the correct route to take, that's their remit, to facilitate in neighbourhood disputes and prevent things escalating. What an awful attitude towards a 7 year old boy you have.

MoosLikeJagger · 06/09/2016 18:14

Report to the NSPCC.

Messing about with poo is often a sign of abuse.

HeadfirstForHalos · 06/09/2016 18:15

As she is 8, I think furious is an over reaction, but it's really grim and does need dealing with. I would do the same as you have said, go around and have a calm chat with her parents and make them aware. I hope they're suitably mortified.

Not only could she make your ds poorly, but also herself , if she's messing around with dog shit.

Longlost10 · 06/09/2016 18:17

police matter. Unless the girl is 2

DoloresVanCartier · 06/09/2016 18:17

I would be furious if my DS was covered in dog poo thrown by someone else. I would be phoning the police, it's an assault and even though she is above the age of legal responsibility I would be asking for her to be warned on this occasion. What's next to be thrown stones or rocks?

GoldFishFingerz · 06/09/2016 18:18

The child is under 10 so police can do nothing

CaptainCrunch · 06/09/2016 18:20

They can talk to her parents, nobody is suggesting she gets charged with anything, so hardly "the police can do nothing" Confused

KoalaDownUnder · 06/09/2016 18:21

Poor kid.

Why would you phone the police before going to see the parents though? They're two young kids. It's poo - it's foul, but it's not bullets or nuclear waste.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 06/09/2016 18:21

Bloody hell some people on this thread are strange. of course your DH should of cleaned up the dog shit ASAP. If they question the lack of "evidence" just explain you didn't want to leave your son covered in shit. I mean, why would they think you'd make that up? And if they think you'd make it up, they probably wouldn't believe it was their daughter of you did have "evidence"

And to the people questioning it being in his ear, it's incredibly plausible.

This is awful, your poor boy. How reasonable are the parents. TBH, I'm don't think wether or not your son did anything in the first place is relevant. My 5 year old would never consider throwing dogshit and its worrying behaviour indeed.

HeadfirstForHalos · 06/09/2016 18:23

An 8 year old is unlikely to understand the health risks of getting dog poo in your eyes or mouth. It's incredibly naughty of her to throw it, and it needs dealing with, but at this age, by her parents, not the police. It would be a different matter if this wasn't a one off, and the parents refused to deal with it.

kali110 · 06/09/2016 18:24

That's vile. I'd have given poo thrower a bollocking.
Your poor son.
I don't actually think calling the police is ott. ( maybe not the main line) this behaviour is wrong.

CrazyCatLaydee123 · 06/09/2016 18:24

My first instinct was police. As pp said, poo flinging can be a sign of abuse, so calling the police would put it on the radar IYSWIM. If not it would scare the shit out of her (no pun intended) - what she's done is dangerous, stupid, and disgusting. It is assault.

CaptainCrunch · 06/09/2016 18:26

"It's not bullets or nuclear waste" oh well, that's ok then, I'll remember that next time someone flings shite at me.

Some of the minimising on here is revolting.

And the op clearly states they've had words with the neighbours before, she possibly doesn't feel safe confronting them.

Arseicle · 06/09/2016 18:26

I despair because the thrower is 8. A young kid, which as the cops will tell you, is not their job to deal with.

And seriously, nobody is asking what happened BEFORE the poo was flung?

MunchCrunch01 · 06/09/2016 18:27

i'd go round and see the parents unless I thought they might turn violent, if you've got no reason to think that, I'd go round and have a word. If it happens again, then I'd call the police, it's vile, your poor DS. Your DH should ideally have dealt with it but I'm always bad cop too. Did he not have time to take a quick photo on his phone? He must do that next time.

CaptainCrunch · 06/09/2016 18:31

Don't know where you live arsicle but our community police officers will happily speak to children below the age of criminal responsibility if they have committed assault or criminal damage and refer them to the children's panel, so no, not. "nothing".

And you seem determined to blame a 7 year old boy by persistently asking what he did "first". Nice victim blaming there.

DoloresVanCartier · 06/09/2016 18:35

I have definitely spoken to children under the age of criminal responsibility (am in Scotland). There are also restorative warnings that can be given. My mistake to the pp we have raised our acr to 10 - I probably should know that Grin

Arseicle · 06/09/2016 18:38

And you seem determined to blame a 7 year old boy by persistently asking what he did "first". Nice victim blaming there

Not blaming, asking. You know, like anyone with a little cop on. I I fling poo at someone, its for a reason. You at least ASK before you assume it was out of the clear blue sky.

KoalaDownUnder · 06/09/2016 18:41

I'll remember that next time someone flings shite at me.

Okay, good?

It's an 8-year-old child. Get some perspective.

pictish · 06/09/2016 18:50

Well I'd want to know if one of mine had flung shit at another kid. What a filthy little git. Go and see the parents.

george1020 · 06/09/2016 18:52

Wow I don't get some of the posters on here!
I don't think it is remotely funny and the ones acting blasè, I'm pretty sure you would be pissed if it was your child!
It really doesn't matter what happened to start it, throwing shit at someone is completely unacceptable.
I probably wouldn't phone the police but that would really depend on the other parents. I would be going straight round there and expecting a bloody good explanation!

CaptainCrunch · 06/09/2016 18:52

Not sure I could ever find a "reason" to throw excrement at someone Arsicle. I find it very strange that you would. Especially a 7 year old boy.

CaptainCrunch · 06/09/2016 18:55

I do have "perspective" thank you Koala. If either of my DC had thrown excrement at someone at the age of 8 I would have wanted to ensure it never happened again and let them know it's totally unacceptable.

I can only assume some of the posters on this thread think 8 year olds have no sense of responsibility, empathy or acceptable social behaviour if conduct such as this is just supposed to be ignored or laughed about.

klch14 · 06/09/2016 18:56

Your poor son. I'd be going bat shit crazy -no pun intended- I know going barmy isn't the way to get stuff sorted, but if anyone does anything to my kid Angry