AIBU to not know if I should expect a thank you?

[Sparklycurtainpole]

Something has been bugging me for a couple of weeks now.
I currently have a four month old baby and two older children. I was unable to breastfeed my older two following severe medical problems after the birth but have been fine to feed dc3. In fact, I've had a massive oversupply and have completely filled our freezer.
I enquired about donating to a special care baby unit but was too late in registering (has to be before 4 months).
Found a site which matches mums who want donor milk with mums who are willing to donate and found a fairly local mum who wanted milk for her daughter. I contacted her and she was delighted I was offering milk for donation. She'd struggled to feed her daughter and had recently returned to work and her supply had completely dried up.
She came to collect a couple of weeks ago and I donated over 80 bags of frozen milk.
I was on a bit of a giddy high as I have been so overwhelmed that I've actually been able to feed my baby that I didn't even think at the time about the hours and hours id taken to actually pump, sterilise and store the milk - not to mention the cost of actually buying all the storage bags. I was just so delighted to be helping someone else (and also to reclaiming the freezer!)
I've still got about 70+ bags left for myself so I've not gone short or anything but a family member asked me 'did you ever hear from the woman again?'
When I said I'd had a short thank you via Facebook, my family member then looked shocked and said, 'what? Not even a bunch of flowers or box of chocolates or a card? You gave them all of that and you've had nothing in return?'
Now as I said, I did it to help a fellow mum out and didn't even think of expecting anything at the time but what my family member says has started to bug me. I spent literally hours day and night for weeks on end pumping that milk (I pumped every 2 hours, 24 hours a day for the first 2 months to get my supply up) and have spent a fortune on storage bags etc.
I'm now upset as my donation has now been a bit tainted by what my family member has said.
Am I being unreasonable to not know if I deserve a thank you?

Worraliberty, I'm finding sometimes the family dynamics, sleep deprivation and hormones combo can make you doubt your own judgement. This thread has helped me see that actually my initial reaction and happiness was right. If my family bring it up again, I'm making fuzzyowl's point!

Assuming the mum was going through a really tough time to be seeking bm from a stranger. Id assume she's in a baby bubble and move on.

I can't imagine feeding someone else's donated breast milk to my own baby. How would you know it was stored correctly? I'm sure I read something where someone had tested the delivered breast milk that people sell online she found it positively rancid

Also, how do you know that the Mother is not an drug addict/alcoholic or even a weirdo who might put something harmful in the milk? Is there really no screening? Think I'd rather give my baby formula, at least you know where it has been.

OP you did something nice and the lady said thanks, I think that is enough tbh.

Well done you. I was in a v similar situation - won't say too much as is a bit outing - and I was so thrilled to donate as I knew how hard I'd worked. It validates all my work!

Now I think about it, I got nothing. She turned up, got the milk, went away. We are fb friends but I've had no thanks at all!

Congratulations on your baby and the feeding success

You've done a very kind thing, which for you, is its own reward.

I think two things. First, your family member isn't of the generation, or doesn't understand invitations, announcements, or thanks by text or facebook, for them a sincere thank you has to be a hand written card or small gift, so the comments are in the context of that belief regardless of your own ideas. Secondly, you need to be more assertive around this person and more confident in your own judgement 'it's absolutely fine, it's not the way things are done these days and I've never given it a thought' End of.

Thanks sparkly

sees the irony in this!

You've done a really lovely thing! I bet the woman is really grateful.
Just a thought...how long ago did you give her the milk? If recently, it's always possible that she will be in touch at a later date to say thanks again. I have been given loads of baby clothes over the years and have tended to say a quick thank you at the time, but then given a little box of chocs or new outfit for the child a while later.
Let's hope that the woman isn't reading this thread and feeling guilty that she should have made more effort with her thank you
Honestly don't give it another thought - your family are being silly.