Retired and depressed

[seaurchin2016]

I have been forced into early retirement at 57 years of age. I was a teacher but when my school became an academy I was forced out due to age. I can't prove it but its strange that everyone over the age of 50 have been "pushed" out. It's a long story which I don't want to go into.
My problem is I miss the classroom but I can't go back as I was dismissed without a reference due to "ill health". I'm sort of okay now.
My problem is that my pension doesn't go very far and I'm struggling money-wise. I'm also bored and don't feel part of society - on the scrap heap and no longer valued.
Family don't bother even though I've tried. Neighbours are awful and I have no friends. So, I have whole days where I don't see a soul.
I feel very low as if I'm useless and just waiting to die.
Recently I've had a scare health wise. I'm waiting for the results of a biopsy. A relative has died and I've lost two beloved pets.
Things are just getting worse. I use to be considered a fantastic teacher until someone told lies about me to get my job from me. The lady who did this still has my job. I loved the job but the headmaster didn't believe me. The lady had the gift of the gab and I'm quiet and rather naïve.
I feel really stitched up not just once but several times in teaching but I love the classroom. It has broken my heart to be dismissed. I don't like private tuition. my love is in being in a large classroom full of kids.
My husband doesn't understand. He goes to work and then comes home moaning about his job and then falls asleep for the entire night. At the weekends he mainly sleeps.
This is my life in retirement. On my own all day, husband asleep all night, no family to visit, no friends, no good neighbours, no money, cancer scare and just marking time until I die.
I'm waiting for counselling but having had it before it doesn't do me a lot of good. I'm on maximum dosage of anti depressants. I take 10 tablets a day for various ailments which I've really fed up of.
Has anyone got any magic answers because I really need a miracle.

I don't have any magic answers but I wanted to say that you have incredible professional and life experience and I just know you have so much still to offer. Please don't stay at home and cut yourself off from the world. I agree that you should, in small steps, get out there and engage in some volunteer work to begin with. You have so many skills and so much experience! Depression feeds off itself and keeping busy, getting out of the house and seeing people will really really help. I'm in a phase of life where I'm still knee-deep in work and children and there is such a long list of things that I would love to do if I had more time. It sounds like you have been badly treated and you have become discouraged and lost your confidence in yourself. Don't let the system have the final say over you, take your life and your identity back from that. Also, you are really really young to be "on the scrap heap"!! Some things off the top of my head (that might not apply to you at all, but still) that I would do in early retirement include yoga classes, join a choir, art classes, walking groups, volunteering for all sorts of causes, fostering cats (I'm too busy to get one!), learning a language, going back to college and studying something new, swimming regularly, travelling more. Unfortunately feeling depressed and losing confidence makes it much harder to get out there and do anything but don't let it win. Good luck and love to you

Could you offer private tutoring lessons? That would bring in some extra money and allow you to do what you love.

Or child minding?

Don't know if you were primary or secondary but how about TA work? Gets you back in a classroom, bit of money, less stress and the lack of a reference may be less of an issue.

Exam marking, invigilator work, what's that new role that some secondary schools have where a non qualified teacher watches a class sometimes to cover for sickness/prep time?

Apart from work look at how to improve your personal life/social life. Take up yoga, Join the WI, local walking groups, go out for cycle rides, take up geo caching, photography, painting, start a book club. There's plenty of time consuming hobbies/passions out there which don't take up a lot of money or require your Dh to join in. If he wants to sleep/not do stuff then leave him to it and do stuff yourself.

My Dh has a major hobby and is very selfish concerning this, so has no time for me. I got a dog, I go walking a lot. I now walk most mornings with 3 other women in the village,,,,we just all kept bumping into each other dog walking and now walk together. We have lunches out, etc. I joined a crochet group. Joined a gym. Also got cycling and started going on organised Breeze and Sky rides and made friends doing this.

Hope things are better OP?

Don't mock, anyone, but OP, have you thought of the WI for a social life?
There are many in towns as well as villages, they attract women of all ages, usually have lots of other activities going on and are absolutely not 'Jam and Jerusalem' any more. And you can visit as many as you like before you decide.
I've met loads of wonderful women since I joined.

Your local Rotary club would be delighted to have you. Rotary's a very sociable & friendly organisation, and you can put in as much or as little time as you wish. There's bound to be a project that interests you, and your experience with teenagers would be invaluable.

www.rotarygbi.org/

I got made redundant at 52 from a job I loved. I was heartbroken. After a while I started volunteering for a mental health charity. It really helped me to get out of the depression I had sunk into. The joy on people's faces when they saw me helped me a lot and gave me the confidence to work for an Agency. It was not much money but it gave me my self esteem.

I know volunteering is not for everyone but have you thought about contacting some refugee charities. I am sure that hey would welcome a teacher to give extra help to children.

I know exactly how you feel I worked for NHS as a specialist nurse and just when I had a year to go to retirement the bloody Social Enterprise I worked for decided I was too expensive. I was absolutely devastated, depressed and am still anxious as I was not ready to retire. They offered me another role which had absolutely nothing to do with my speciality, I took advice from the Union and also employment solicitor but was advised by both that because they had offered to retrain me I did not have a leg to stand on. The post was also on pay protection. I feel so demoralised and used I would have gone freely in a year now here I am depressed with all my friends at work all day and I have never felt so alone in my life.

There is so much to do out there. Walking sports is big now for the over 50's. Choirs, walks there has never been so much to do plus voluntary work.

50s is too young to retire (unless you can afford to) Ive had some good experiences volunteering and fund raising whilst working FT. You must have lots of transferable skills. What about teaching abroad or via Skype. How about volunteering or working for National Trust or similar. What about an allotment. What about a working holiday. You can do something completely different to your old job. Surely you can get one of your old work colleagues to be a job reference for you.

Me personally a reference is not a problem its what to do and what do I want to do this came out the blue with only 3 months notice to decide stay and do something I hated or retire. I chose retire. My main problem is friends as most are either still working or miles away as I came to south east from north west so I spent most of my time at work not making friends near where I live which is 25 miles from where I worked. Its also winter as I do love my garden but its freezing and snowing so cant do that. I also struggle to make friends out of work as nursing has been my life and all we talk about one way or another. I know i'm a useless sad case with no enthusiasm.

ZOMBIE THREAD FROM 2016!