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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what others do please

64 replies

pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 20:39

Our lad 16 has just got his first job 😁Very happy and proud

He will be earning just £400 month we has said £50 into his savings and £35 for his keep to us

Is that tight to generous or just right

OP posts:
Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 20:40

We every much want to encourage him saving for him self for the off

The rest off the money is his were paying for his collage travel and all that

OP posts:
Bubblebloodypop · 04/09/2016 20:40

That seems very fair to me. My mum asked me to put a third into savings, a third to her and a third for myself. This felt perfectly fair to me but I know a lot of people would think it was mean.

Tiggeryoubastard · 04/09/2016 20:43

Thought they had to be in education until 17 now?

Tiggeryoubastard · 04/09/2016 20:45

Sorry just seen he's at college. No I don't think he should pay keep whilst at college.

RunningLulu · 04/09/2016 20:45

I think 150/mth in savings (presumably he'll want driving lessons soon so it's prob a good idea to save for them now), 50 to you, and the rest for himself. 200/mth is still a fair amount of money & if he can't manage you can always reduce down one of the other two amounts.

BodsAuntieFlo · 04/09/2016 20:47

I wouldn't be taking anything from him for keep. I think you're being tight tbh.

Sassypants82 · 04/09/2016 20:49

Wow, he'll have significantly more disposable income for personal use than I allow myself per month. But then I'm a pregnant mother of a toddler & my social life is very limited. I think you're being incredibly fair. £35 for his keep is really not much. What does he think of the arrangements?

Pradaqueen · 04/09/2016 20:49

Op I think if you are going to save the £35 on his behalf without telling him or it subs driving lessons, then that would be fine. I wouldn't however take £35 off any kid at 16 willing to get a Saturday job unless your family circumstances are dire enough to warrant such action.

Pradaqueen · 04/09/2016 20:50
  • assuming this is a Saturday job and not an apprenticeship
Nickname1980 · 04/09/2016 20:50

I wouldn't take anything off him for keep, either. He's still a child at 16!!!

I think you're being tight, sorry.

Omgkitties · 04/09/2016 20:51

Whilst he's in college I wouldn't be asking for keep and probably wouldn't until he's 18 anyway.

SawdustInMyHair · 04/09/2016 20:52

I think you're being very reasonable, although I'd want him to put more into savings. At 16 and living with you he shouldn't be burning through £300 a month on clothes/socialising/phone.

evelynj · 04/09/2016 20:53

I like the thirds idea-if you can afford to not charge him & would like to, you could secrete his keep to an account that you could gift to him at a later date. I don't have£315 per month to myself for fun so don't think it will teach him much financial responsibility at that level

Crisscrosscranky · 04/09/2016 20:53

I won't be charging my DD housekeeping until she's finished Uni/education. I'll expect her to earn her keep by helping out around the house.

Obviously it may change things if you rely on his child benefit as income in which case I can see why you would ask him to contribute financially.

toastymarshmallow · 04/09/2016 20:54

DH and I were talking about this today. We decided we will wait until 21 before we ask for keep. Anything younger than that just seems wrong to us.

But each to their own.

Zombieswillreign · 04/09/2016 20:54

So he earns the money .....
and you decide how it is spent......huuumm ,if he is mature enough to get a job ,and stick to a job,it's got fuck all to do with anyone what he spends it on...and you shouldn't be taking money of him till he's 18 in full time employment ....are you not getting tax credits or child benefit ...why would you need his money as well....you chose to have him.you support him till he's 18.

Fluffsnuts · 04/09/2016 20:54

If he's in education I'd not charge him keep BUT actually I'd charge him keep and then save it for him, he can put it towards a car or something IF he's stuck to his savings agreement.

M00nUnit · 04/09/2016 20:55

He's only 16 and still at college - you shouldn't be changing him at all!

M00nUnit · 04/09/2016 20:56

*charging

chitofftheshovel · 04/09/2016 20:56

Sounds fair to me.
I would definitely charge him keep, possibly more like £50/£60. Plus expect him to contribute to the running of the house in "man hours".

Zombieswillreign · 04/09/2016 20:57

Quickest way to alienate teens is to control them,guide yes.control no...unless ofcourse you want them leaving home ASAP at 18

Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 20:57

poster Zombieswillreign

I think you find there are many many people even posters on here who wished there parents encouraged them to save from a younger age

Encoruing a young person to save is never anything but a good thing

His "keep" will be going into a driving lesson fund

OP posts:
sharkinthedark · 04/09/2016 20:57

Don't you still get child benefit for him?

Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 20:59

poster Zombieswillreign Sun 04-Sep-16 20:57:21
Quickest way to alienate teens is to control them,guide yes.control no...unless ofcourse you want them leaving home ASAP at 18
Add message | Report | Message poster pleasemothermay1 Sun 04-Sep-16 20:57:47
if he wants to leave we will miss him but he's more than welcome and I wish him luck finding a place that he can rent for £35 a month😁😜

OP posts:
Willywolly · 04/09/2016 20:59

I won't be taking any money for keep until my 4 are at least 20. They won't be able to move out and find somewhere decent until that age even if they had the money as no one takes them seriously.

Atm they are 14, 15, 17 and 18. The 2 eldest also have be their girlfriends pretty much living here and I still wouldn't take a penny from them yet.

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