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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what others do please

64 replies

pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 20:39

Our lad 16 has just got his first job 😁Very happy and proud

He will be earning just £400 month we has said £50 into his savings and £35 for his keep to us

Is that tight to generous or just right

OP posts:
Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 21:00

poster M00nUnit Sun 04-Sep-16 20:55:48
He's only 16 and still at college - you shouldn't be changing him at all!
Add message | Report | Message poster M00nUnit Sun 04-Sep-16 20:56:07

Changing 😁😁😁😁

OP posts:
Willywolly · 04/09/2016 21:01

Although I do encourage them to save, even when they're not/weren't earning I like them to save a bit of their money and so far they've all been very good.

Zombieswillreign · 04/09/2016 21:02

Please.....some people just can't let go....it's all about CONTROL...they earn it ,let them do as they please....when else in life will they have money to spend as they please with no bills to pay ,no kids to buy for....it's the only time they can earn and be free of responsibilities and enjoy spending on what the hell they like....why do people feel the need to control their teens money that they have earned themselves bizarre

Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 21:03

He said he's going to treat his mate to the pictures when he gets his first wage packet

He's friends took him a few weeks ago I think thats nice

OP posts:
nellypledge16 · 04/09/2016 21:03

I started an apprenticeship at 16 in the late 80's, my parents took 'lodge' of me. They did the same with my brother 2 years later. I don't see it as a problem tbh.

toastymarshmallow · 04/09/2016 21:05

I agree with Zombies.

They have a whole life to be responsible and sensible. Yes encourage saving and being careful with money, but let thek be kids while they are kids.

Marmalade85 · 04/09/2016 21:05

I don't think a 16 year old should pay 'keep'. It's his first job, let him enjoy his money for a bit as he has the rest of his life to pay bills.

Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 21:05

poster Zombieswillreign Sun 04-Sep-16 21:02:51

Sorry don't agree in most parts of London now you will be lucky to own a home by 40 if ever I reckon there are fair few Londoners who wish they have saved for a younger age

I don't wish my son to be in renter hell and want to instil the displine of saving in him from day dot

OP posts:
nellypledge16 · 04/09/2016 21:06

I took my friend for a meal with my first pay packet, in 1989 it was a proper cash paypacket weekly and I can remember thinking 'oh I'll pay for this, I'll be getting some more next week'!!

Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 21:08

That's a lovey memory nelly

OP posts:
BodsAuntieFlo · 04/09/2016 21:08

I'm shocked that anyone would consider charging a 16 year old for 'keep'

Zombieswillreign · 04/09/2016 21:12

Pleasemother,if you've brought him up well,...as I'm sure you have ....he will understand about saving,he will do it automatically .....he could join the army....would you be trying to contol that too? You have had 16 years to instill in him yr values...now sit back at let him do as he pleases...he's nearly a man,afford him your RESPECT......trust him to do the right thing with HIS money the money HE has earned.....or risk alienating him....

nellypledge16 · 04/09/2016 21:12

I really didn't mind, they'd looked after me for 16 years and still fed and housed me. My Dad used to make me bait when he made his every night too!

Original poster
pleasemothermay1 · 04/09/2016 21:14

Why are you so cross and why do you keep doing ........ All the time

it's like your outraged on his behalf calm down

OP posts:
Zombieswillreign · 04/09/2016 21:19

Yeah,I do feel that.....he's nearly a man for Christ sake..cut those apron strings....I'm going to go now.ive said what I think,for what it's worth..( I think I've said more than enough really ).I've had 3 teenagers..I treated them all with respect and allowed them to grow up and become responsible for themselves and their money...how can yr son do that with you controlling everything....

MrsDeVere · 04/09/2016 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharkinthedark · 04/09/2016 21:20

Are you still getting child benefit for him op?

yeOldeTrout · 04/09/2016 21:20

Long time ago was an MN thread that talked about this. One plan I really liked was people who took 1/3 of the earnings for keep/lodging, but then returned it as a lump sum to their child (as a surprise) when said kid wanted to buy first car/pay first insurance/deposit for first home. I liked that plan a lot.

StillRabbit · 04/09/2016 21:21

Why such outrage about someone earning money contributing to his living costs?

On another thread I've been told by some that I shouldn't be giving my daughter £200 a month to feed herself while she us at uni but on this thread you should support him until he leaves education!

I had a Saturday job when I was 15 and I had to give my mum a third of my earnings! (And, before anyone asks, they didn't need the money my parents were more than comfortable).

SvalbardianPenguin · 04/09/2016 21:22

My DS has a part time job; I don't take board from him but I have said he should aim to save half of all his earnings. He's been doing that and showing me (voluntarily) his statement - I haven't asked to see it.

He's going to pay for his own driving lessons and he pays for clothes that he wants rather than clothes that he needs.

Fairenuff · 04/09/2016 21:28

My ds is at college and has had a part time job since he was 14.

I've never asked for any money off him. Some he spends and some he saves. This has been his own choice, I don't tell him what to do with his money.

PGPsabitch · 04/09/2016 21:28

Sounds like a good idea especially if it's going into a driving lesson fund for him. It gets him used to budgeting and saving.

One of my friends was awful with money because the value and budgeting was never instilled in her. As a result, she opts to teach her dc like this and the money goes into savings for a house deposit for them.

Irelephant · 04/09/2016 21:28

I payed board at 16 my siblings did too.

I don't think my parents were controlling. I still talk too them 10 years on.

Zombieswillreign · 04/09/2016 21:31

Actually ...sorry,I got carried away.your only asking what people think...I was tightly controlled by my parents,lead to all kinds of problems,police ect ect...I do get quite indignant about giving teens space and respect..I suppose it's because I know how it feels with no space ,no respect , no control of yr own life...sorry again.and I'm sure whatever you do will be right for your family X

gillybeanz · 04/09/2016 21:34

I started work at 16 and got £20
It was a small corner shop and the same as they got on YTS if anyone can remember this Grin
I saved £5, kept a tenner and gave mum £5
Bloody hell, I'm old.

Did the same with our lads at 16 when they started work.
They know the value of money and manage what they have extremely well.