Neighbours kid screaming

[Evilstepmum01]

wwyd? next doors DS(6) is in his bedroom screaming and crying at his mum and her boyf to leave him alone, fuck off, get out......etc.
Background-this boy has some problems...ADHD, ASD, sensory disorder (not clearly diagnosed) and the main problem-his mum. SS are involved but she refuses to follow advice/accept help. She has no bond with him. Nothing. Its sad to see. He's chucked into the garden or out at the park, just out of the house so she doesnt have to deal with him.
This lad has hit/kicked/punched/bitten/stoned/spat on/exposed himself to/sworn/screamed and abused nearly all the local kids (not mine, ours dont go out unattended). He's caused all manner of problems, been the subject of complaints to housing association and police.
For the last half hour/ 40 mins, he has been screaming and crying go away, get out, fuck off loud enough for me to hear on the other side of the house. And loud enough for all the neighbours in a half mile to hear.
Horrible to hear, despite his antisocial issues, hes still just a wee boy. One I keep my kids away from, but still.

Wwyd? Another complaint to SS? Does any of this help him? Poor lost soul.

Called 101. Already been reported.

I will speak to SS on monday.

Ive seen kids with ASD have epic melt downs that lasted for longer than 40 mins ive known a few who could dismantle a room during one almost like the hulk so hearing that I wouldn't always be concerned BUT you do not know so someone who is qualified to assess the situation needs to.

Glad you reported.

sounds like mine when he is having a melt down and I am having to hold him to stop him harming himself, his sister or us. and yes they do go on for a very long time. asd children have long loud shouty screaming meltdowns.

some asd children do not like to be hugged. this is not abusive, this is meeting their needs of not being touched. being touched causes pain. you tend not to do things that hurt your children.

some do not have impulse control sorted yet and do not develop the social graces of not weeing off the shed without a lot of support. very often they are operating at about 2/3 chronological age for emotional behaviour stuff. adhd... well theres another condition that means they struggle with impulse control. she probably does need help with supervising him in the park. ds does not go alone otherwise we would probably have a similar list of behaviours mentioned. some asd children do not like to be talked to. this also causes sensory overload and is painful. perhpas his mother is meeting the needs of his disability, by not talking much. nt people do tend to yabber on incessantly sometimes.

some asd children like to be alone. ds likes being in the garden he is handed out a snack. this helps to regulate his behaviour and meets his needs. as a parent of a child with autism, things do not always get done in the conventional way. one looks at the desired result (child eats) and fulfils it in the way that works for the child. you choose your hill to die on. so what if they go around in wellies all summer due to sensory issues. some things are not critical. being inside to eat is not critical. you are judging asd disabled children with the criteria of a nt child.

given the genetic link to asd, it is likely that the older one is also asd and undiagnosed. do not dismiss this as a possibility.

Op, you sound terribly judgemental. You seem to know everything about this woman and her kid.

Hahahahahahahaha fucking hell.

how ridiculous does this whole let's not be judgemental culture we are in now have to get, when someone who has legitimate concerns about a child has that thrown at them as a insult.

She's talking about a 6yo child in what sounds like significant distress and in her opinion (and one would guess the opinion is shared by childrens social care) a mother who is at the very least seriously struggling, and someone jumps in to play the judgemental card. What the fuck is the world coming to

Needs the OP is right to be concerned about the neighbour and report her to the police etc.

That aside. The Op has written a number of judgemental remarks about the parent.

So what. There are something's that it is perfectly acceptable to be judgemental about.

All of those things that she percieves as negative put together are the things that give her concerns.

Do you think she would have the same concerns if she personally thought mum was dealing with it well, remembering that the op is the one actually seeing and hearing what's going on.

We are not talking about something that's hugely subjective like appropreate attire or hygiene standards, granted she may just not be understanding the finer points of how the disability impacts on the child but that's why you report stuff so someone more qualified can assess. or do disabled children not require as much supervision care and positive comunication as none disabled children because we can't possibly be judgemental about parenting.

remembering that the op is the one actually seeing and hearing what's going on.

You can't really rely on what you see and hear, if your not actually living in it, can't you?

I have a child with special needs, so of course I do care that parents with special needs require as much supervision and care, anyway it's too early for this. I'm going to sleep now. Good night.

If he's playing 18 rated games on the console, that's neglect anyway. Probably the reason for the disturbed behaviour if that kind of thing is deemed appropriate.

789

I hope you managed a nice sleep.

I also have children with disabilities (ASD with other co existing conditions) 5 of them 3 LF 2 HF and my 4yo and 2yo are also currently going through the DX process.

Some things from parents there are no excuses for. Everybody understands the occasional blip everybody understands the odd slip but the op says this is very frequent.

It really isn't being judgemental to be looking out for kids and occasionally saying hang on a sec that is not acceptable parenting or if the full circumstamces are not known then that may not be acceptable what I hear is distressing me and I am concerned about the child.

Judgemental would be saying someone's shit because they eat what you percieve to be junk food, or don't clean their house more than once a week, or one of the many other little things that do not really matter on the great scale of life but it's not picking up on a 6yo who is in a position to h
Get up on roofs, being screamed at lots,playing 18 games and being chucked out in the garden and the neighbourhood and causing such an issue for other people's children.

That is something that warrants further looking at