..to think that dh is a bit of a twat, and that this is not necessary

[hmcAsWas]

So dd has a pre -season football tournament tomorrow and dh is taking her - fine.

Ds would also be playing the first game of the season for his team tomorrow, but he has a broken toe and so he is out injured. Dh seems to think that it is some massive big bloody deal that I should take ds to go and watch his team mates play the game. Why? Who gives a damn! I wish them well as does ds, and we hope that they get a good result - but I have other stuff to do and don't see why its totally vital that I drive 15 miles to a game, stay and watch and then drive 15 miles back.

Time is precious and since during footie season dd plays every Saturday, and ds plays every Saturday AND every frigging Sunday (AND on top of this we are season ticket holders for our premiership club), I'm thinking how nice to take advantage of an enforced absence. If ds wasn't injured and was playing - naturally I would take him....but since he isn't, both of us are quite 'meh' about going and supporting (time involved around 3 hours). I doubt any of the players, the manager or the other parents will notice whether we are there or not, and certainly don't think they would be censorious about our absence...however dh is 'appalled' that I don't think it is necessary to take ds to watch. Dh is imo totally obsessed with football (I like football, but I have it in some kind of perspective)

So is ds being a massive twat or am I in the wrong?

Sorry if I sound a bit ranty but it helps to let it out

FFS - It's football, a fucking pita game, who really gives a shit?

No1 thing to put me off anyone is being devoted to bloody football

Always took injured son to support his team mates.

Same here. I think it's important to show support for the team even when/if he couldn't actually play.

In my experience there's an extremely high correlation between being obsessed with football and being an absolute twat.

YANBU.

Thank God neither DS was interested in football. Very selfish to expect it to take up every weekend. It's a game, it's meant to be fun not take over family life.

In principle supporting your team when injured is a good thing but the way football is dominating your lives is not ok.

I can see the argument that it's important to support team-mates when you're off injured – but it's also important to have downtime and time at home doing what you feel like, especially when you're recovering from something. A child should get that too sometimes, not be taught that The Team comes above all else. I can totally see why DS would like the idea of a few hours at home with his mum just decompressing.

Your weekends sound full-on and it all sounds a bit much tbh, or it would be for me. And it's not up to DH to decide what you do about this. You are DS's parent too. At this point I'd be saying "It's DS's toe and DS's choice, we will go with his preference, end of."

In my experience there's an extremely high correlation between being obsessed with football and being an absolute twat.

Absolutely.

I know people like football and all, but when it takes over family life every weekend and more I do find myself wanting to suggest that it really is utterly absurd to get that obsessive about a few people chasing a ball around.

My DH has a season ticket for out local (Scottish Ptemier League) team and has gone through every birth, early year and crisis of our 3 children

That is absolutely abhorrent behaviour. He has missed his kids births for football?!! I would seriously LTB.

I can't believe people live like this- so totally dominated by football (or whatever). How dull.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with liking football and having a season ticket etc, it's when it becomes an obsession that it turns people into twats.

My DH has a season ticket for out local (Scottish Ptemier League) team and has gone through every birth, early year and crisis of our 3 children.

Yes that is ludicrous. In our highest national comp, the players would skip the game to be at the births of their children.

Agree with togaparties and judycoolibar, I too don't get the obsession with football and sometimes wonder if I'm missing something really obvious as it always looks like the same thing just endlessly repeated, people chasing a ball for 90 mins.

OP I would go with what DS wants, he probably needs a rest before school starts anyway, sometimes you have to put your foot down even if it makes you unpopular, otherwise you will always end up giving in and feeling resentful, I think your DH means well but has a skewed perspective on football as it appears to be taking over, I wouldn't be going along with that.

I have 2 DS that both play football, one plays Thursday night and Sunday morning and one plays rugby on Saturday and football on Sunday
I know it's a nightmare and you feel as if you never have a free weekend
But....whenever one has been injured they always go to the matches. That's because they want to though
It's pre season so I'm guessing you haven't been there every weekend over the summer- if DS wanted to go then I would go

I do however do a happy dance when in Nov/Dec/Jan the pitches are so waterlogged all the games are called off

"In my experience there's an extremely high correlation between being obsessed with football and being an abSolute twat"

I agree and would replace the "football" with "any hobby".

I've seen the same kind of behaviour with people whose hobby is cycling, sailing and even bloody going to the gym. Any hobby which comes before your family is ridiculous.

And being with a man who misses the birth of his children and every "crisis" in order to go to a fucking football match?
I expect the children will really appreciate that when they're adults