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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to think that dh is a bit of a twat, and that this is not necessary

67 replies

hmcAsWas · 03/09/2016 21:09

So dd has a pre -season football tournament tomorrow and dh is taking her - fine.

Ds would also be playing the first game of the season for his team tomorrow, but he has a broken toe and so he is out injured. Dh seems to think that it is some massive big bloody deal that I should take ds to go and watch his team mates play the game. Why? Who gives a damn! I wish them well as does ds, and we hope that they get a good result - but I have other stuff to do and don't see why its totally vital that I drive 15 miles to a game, stay and watch and then drive 15 miles back.

Time is precious and since during footie season dd plays every Saturday, and ds plays every Saturday AND every frigging Sunday (AND on top of this we are season ticket holders for our premiership club), I'm thinking how nice to take advantage of an enforced absence. If ds wasn't injured and was playing - naturally I would take him....but since he isn't, both of us are quite 'meh' about going and supporting (time involved around 3 hours). I doubt any of the players, the manager or the other parents will notice whether we are there or not, and certainly don't think they would be censorious about our absence...however dh is 'appalled' that I don't think it is necessary to take ds to watch. Dh is imo totally obsessed with football (I like football, but I have it in some kind of perspective)

So is ds being a massive twat or am I in the wrong?

Sorry if I sound a bit ranty but it helps to let it out Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
hmcAsWas · 03/09/2016 21:56

Yes Roses, lovely ds is rarely twatish

OP posts:
Inertia · 03/09/2016 21:58

Can't DS just put his feet up and rest his broken toe? Or perhaps do any remmended physio exercises which may help him recover more quickly and get back in the team earlier, thus being some actual help?

And why is it your job and not your husband's?

Naicehamshop · 03/09/2016 21:59

My DH has a season ticket for out local (Scottish Ptemier League) team and has gone through every birth, early year and crisis of our 3 children

And you think that's a good thing, Bathsheba? Confused

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 03/09/2016 22:01

Niece does not live locally Bathsheba - and so a big deal that she was coming to stay. I did say that dh should go to the game if he wanted - but he seemed to think that we should ALL go since we have 4 season tickets (i.e. him and I plus ds and dd) and leave niece at our house for the afternoon

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/09/2016 22:04

I don't think you can blame football for this. I'm football mad, I watch a lot of games; but when I'm free and it doesn't impact anyone else for me to do so. I don't choose it over other people, or force others to do it with me, or demand DP goes to see random children's football matches Confused

It's more than possible to like football and be a decent person. He happens to like football but be acting like a twat.

pictish · 03/09/2016 22:06

Well I certainly couldn't be arsed with that much bloody football. Thank God dh has no interest in it...but if he did, I'm certain he wouldn't make us be the McFootballs.

Naicehamshop · 03/09/2016 22:07

I would put your foot down fairly sharpish OP or you will have years and years of this twatish behaviour ahead of you.

Original poster
hmcAsWas · 03/09/2016 22:08

Have mentioned this thread to dh and the general consensus (with some alternative perspectives) that he is being OTT. He says I must have written the OP in a biased and leading way [face palm]

OP posts:
Original poster
hmcAsWas · 03/09/2016 22:10

I feel that I should defend dh a bit - he can be pleasant and generous too (when he isn't being a football twat Grin)

OP posts:
Original poster
hmcAsWas · 03/09/2016 22:12

or rather - taking on board Anchor's point - a twat who likes football

OP posts:
pictish · 03/09/2016 22:13

Trying to rule your every weekend with football doesn't sound especially generous. It sounds rather selfish.

Jeffjefftyjeff · 03/09/2016 22:17

I took my ds to football today, it threw it down with rain and all spectators were huddled under a shelter with stragglers that didn't fit on outside jabbing each other with umbrellas. Extra bodies would have just added to the chaos. (And I come from a 'football family')

Cherrysoup · 03/09/2016 22:21

If DS isn't bothered, it is pointless, not to mention school surely starts for most kids on Monday? DH is being a twat, as you say. Mine wouldn't dream of telling me to do this!

Duck90 · 03/09/2016 22:24

A football dominated house would be high on my list of nightmares. However if you have been encouraging it with your kids then you need to support the lifestyle you have started.

DinosaursRoar · 03/09/2016 22:28

Have you tried pointing out to your DH while he enjoys watching football, it seems that DS only enjoys playing football. That this might start to become an issue if he doesn't acknowledge that while lots of people enjoy one, they don't enjoy the other and tries to force his idea of 'fun' on his DS.

DinosaursRoar · 03/09/2016 22:28

Have you tried pointing out to your DH while he enjoys watching football, it seems that DS only enjoys playing football. That this might start to become an issue if he doesn't acknowledge that while lots of people enjoy one, they don't enjoy the other and tries to force his idea of 'fun' on his DS.

DinosaursRoar · 03/09/2016 22:28

Have you tried pointing out to your DH while he enjoys watching football, it seems that DS only enjoys playing football. That this might start to become an issue if he doesn't acknowledge that while lots of people enjoy one, they don't enjoy the other and tries to force his idea of 'fun' on his DS.

Ackvavit · 03/09/2016 22:40

To be fair I see your DH point. DS of mine broke his hand really badly couple of rugby seasons ago. It was made very clear by rugby coach that he was expected to show up at training and games to show support. DS did and actually said he saw the game in a better way and also how to deal with knock backs like injury.

FluffyFluffster · 03/09/2016 22:49

I used to go and watch my teams games if I was injured and couldn't play, it's just part of being a team. Being the first game of the season then I think it's an important game to go support. But it's also not the big deal your DH is making of it.

Could you send your husband with your nieces husband to the other game? Or perhaps he could go with the kids? There's no reason for you to go if you don't want to and I think it's poor form to ditch your niece for something that's not critical.

trafalgargal · 03/09/2016 22:54

A lot of teams expect injured players to show up and support their team and if they don't it affects selection later....however if it's such a big deal to DH why doesn't HE take him ?

pictish · 03/09/2016 23:03

Fair dos. We're not a team sports family. I obviously don't get it.

Duck90 · 03/09/2016 23:07

It is only a hobby, the vast majority of kids will not be good enough to play in their team of choice. Many parents need to understand this!

neonrainbow · 03/09/2016 23:09

What a great big fuss over nothing. Just don't go!

TheSilveryPussycat · 03/09/2016 23:20

How many matches before a season ticket has paid for itself? You don't have to go to every match for a season ticket to be worth it!

Willow2016 · 04/09/2016 00:27

Bathseba
Any bloke who put football before my kids could go and camp on the damm pitch, cos he wouldnt be staying with us.

Thats blood selfish and how on earth did he persuade you otherwise?

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