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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is discrimination and its damn right wrong.

241 replies

EvalionAngel · 03/09/2016 19:14

A Salford woman is 'too fat' to look after children, says council

dailym.ai/2c2xwoB

If this was race it would be wrong if this was a disability it would be wrong if this was gender it would be wrong. So why is fat discrimination allowed. Time for overweight people to be protected under discrimination and hate speech laws. Overweight people have to face daily abuse and thin privilege. The same way black and POC face white privileges and women face make privilege.

I'm so sick of this.

Sorry for the rant.

OP posts:
HeCantBeSerious · 03/09/2016 19:31

Wasn't Dawn French told the only way she'd be allowed to adopt was to lose weight? She lost a shitload, adopted the little girl then put it all back on again (on purpose).

SunnyBanker · 03/09/2016 19:31

I didn't read your post well enough and just had another look - I can't quite believe you've compared 'thin privilege' with white privilege.

Are you fucking serious? YABVVVVU.

SaucyJack · 03/09/2016 19:32

Was her weight linked to the serious health issues she was experiencing at the time of her fostering application?

Doggity · 03/09/2016 19:32

I'm a bit fat at the moment (couple of stone overweight) but I'm beyond fucked off with people bleating on about discrimination. You cannot change being an ethnic minority or being disabled.

Also, your post makes no sense because courts can and do remove children from parents who have learning disabilities if it affects them to the point that they cannot care for their child.

RealityCheque · 03/09/2016 19:32

Yes you can't control race or gender but many cant control weight

Absolutely this. You skinny fuckers have no idea what it's like to suffer from cake retention!

Cake Chocolate Biscuit

Mypurplecaravan · 03/09/2016 19:33

Foster carers are allowed more health leeway than adoptive parents (eg my friend who had survived breast cancer wasn't allowed to adopt but could foster) but even so there is a cut off.

I don't know what the cut off is. But the rules are necessarily stricter about placing vulnerable children with carers than removing well cared for children from their own parents. So again with my friend with breast cancer her own son wasnt removed solely because she had breast cancer but she couldn't adopt another after she survived it.

Saucery · 03/09/2016 19:34

Is her weight linked to the fertility issues?

kali110 · 03/09/2016 19:36

I don't think she's too fat to foster, but being overweight is nowhere near the same as being discriminated for being disabled, gay or a different race Hmm

FarAwayHills · 03/09/2016 19:37

Time for overweight people to be protected under discrimination

Being morbidly obese is a serious health issue. How could the council put vunerable children in the care of someone who was not fit and healthy enough to look after them.

Nothing to do with discrimination, this lady is not the victim here. If she really wants this then crack on and loose some weight.

JonathanDunn · 03/09/2016 19:37

Op is right in terms of thin privilege/white privilege. I do believe you face privilege if you are white or slim.

However she is wrong in terms of this woman mobility is affected at her size. This is not good for children.

GeneralBobbit · 03/09/2016 19:39

I think they've made a mistake, she's not fat enough for it to be an issue imo.

They're bloody desperate for foster carers too.

MypocketsarelikeNarnia · 03/09/2016 19:40

When I looked at the op here I thought it was someone who had had their children removed. But it's someone who's been turned down as a foster carer.

So her 'right' to look after children (for money) should outweigh those children's rights to have a mobile healthy carer?

Are you fucking serious? How is this in anyway complex or difficult? Is it because it's just kids in care and they really don't matter much?

Children who end up in foster care are absolutely some of the most vulnerable people in our society. Most of them have been through immense trauma. The bar for foster carers is already pretty low tbh (although I know there are many many wonderful carers out there). Those children absolutely deserve the best and she would not be able to provide that.

This is not 'discrimination'. It's a person who CAN'T DO THE JOB THEY HAVE APPLIED FOR.

RebelRogue · 03/09/2016 19:41

I am fat. I have my own kid..and yes sometimes i struggle. Either because i don't have the stamina or bcs i couldn't fit in the soft play equipment when she was little.
What you need to understand is that fostering and adopting is held to a lot higher standard than just having a baby. From checking financials,to mental checks to physical health checks.Many times people that have their own children,are rejected for fostering or adoption,even if they're considered fit to look after their own.Not only for the well being of the children but for financial reasons as well,better to spend money to asses,train,check etc someone who can do it for a long time(even though anything could happen to anyone) than on someone that could become unsuitable in a few years.

OctopusHairband · 03/09/2016 19:42

Yabu. Firstly she's not in the overweight or obese category, she's morbidly obese. That would have two impacts, she may struggle to deal with the physical side of childcare, running, lifting etc. The other impact would be on her ability to provide a healthy lifestyle, I'm not sure whether she would be the right person to provide a healthy, balanced diet and regular exercise when clearly she has severe battles with these for herself. I don't mean that to sound unkind, but I would think chain smokers/alcoholics/anorexia patients would be treated in the same way - once the adult has conquered their issues then they may be able to provide a healthy home to a child in need.

acasualobserver · 03/09/2016 19:44

she's not fat enough for it to be an issue imo

Really?! How fat would she need to be for it to become an issue? Twice the size? Three times?

Doggity · 03/09/2016 19:45

I strongly suspect there are other reasons. I wonder if it's her general health, perhaps she has other health problems, maybe related to her obesity? I doubt anyone can be the weight she is and be healthy enough to foster tbh.

ilovesooty · 03/09/2016 19:46

Obesity isn't covered by the Equality Act.

Babymamamama · 03/09/2016 19:47

Part of the issue is that she would need to promote healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle to any children she fosters. How would that work? Also she would need to be running around and playing with the children. Would she be able to? These are practical issues and not discriminatory but real world.

GeneralBobbit · 03/09/2016 19:47

I'd say over 25 stone, at her weight she can still move around enough to foster

Most children in care are over 7, she looks lively enough for that. And she has a fit and healthy partner.

She ain't getting no toddler to run around after, very few of those.

LouisTherouxsGlasses · 03/09/2016 19:48

YABU sorry.
No-one is born weighing 21 stone. There is an element of choice there. To call that discrimination makes a mockery of people who really are discriminated against.

Also, they have to evaluate foster carers from a strict health-and-safety point of view- perhaps that lady is at a high risk of heart attack/stroke etc. especially with her medical history. What if she was home alone with a baby and suddenly collapsed?

The Mail isn't exactly known for being a reliable source of unbiased information, there's probably more to this story.

Bumpmadethemjump · 03/09/2016 19:48

Genuine question for anyone who may know - can you foster/adopt if your a smoker?

Welshmaenad · 03/09/2016 19:48

I strongly suspect her 'desperation' for a family and clear ongoing struggles with her fertility issues are at play here too.

Welshmaenad · 03/09/2016 19:49

Bump different agencies will have their own rules on smoking, most won't allow smokers to foster under-5s or children with additional needs because of the close proximity required to provide care. Some may say a blanket no. My mum was a SSW for an agency specialising in children with disabilities and additional needs and they turned smokers down flat.

PirateFairy45 · 03/09/2016 19:50

Being fat is not always a choice.

I see where you're coming from but it's not the same thing.

Saucery · 03/09/2016 19:50

'Still move around enough'

FFS.