AIBU in my attitude

[Ihatewankers]

Heavenly pregnant and he should have been working from home whilst waiting for a workman. I get home and he had clearly been on his side of the bed with tissues. I have comfronted him and he says he felt H...

I asked him why he didn't ask me to come home, he says he didn't think of it. It's the first time I have caught him, he insists he is not using porn or having an affair. I feel a man over 35 should be satisfied with being with his partner and ask for more if he is not getting enough. Not skiving and wanking himself.

AIBU?

YABU. Though he is BU for leaving used tissues lying around - gross!

I think Bathsheba's question is a reasonable one actually. If OP does masturbate then obviously it's hypocritical of her to expect her OH to abstain. But if she never has then that may be because she was raised to think it was wrong or she may genuinely believe that it's unusual behaviour.

York: I would be very surprised if the OP expressed the feelings she did and then came on here to clear up that she frequently spanks her own monkey, she just expects her partner to call her for sex if it happens to be him feeling horny 😂

Personally I don't masturbate.
But my partner does.

And if he had the slightest nerve to ask me to come to him just for a quick romp I would leave him.

YABU

And i can just imagine the replies if a woman posted on here that her oh was horny and rang her to come home and "take care" of it.

Erm, don't make him feel bad for doing what is natural. He was doing it way before you and has probably been doing it all along when he has time to himself. Yabu, and quite controlling. I dread to think how I'd cope if my OH didn't have time to himself now and again, I'd probably be walking like John Wayne. As for the affair comment....really? He had a wank, as far as I know that's not classed as cheating. Give a grown man a break.

I bet this is a reverse.

A reverse? Na i reckon its complete bullshit.

Thank you for your views, perhaps my Christian upbringing has something to do with, feeling like an elephant and tired doesn't seem to help. No I don't feel the need to play with myself, we had/have a very good and frequent sex life. The boss is no issue we run our own business. It's not so much that I would run home but maybe I thought rather naively that our sex life was sufficient fir us both.

I suppose you have helped me see his view. His body his business I get it now. Divorced ex h because of a porn addiction and finding out he used a prosititute. So perhaps my upbringing plus tha experience have clouded my view. Thank you

Wanking is normal.

Most guides to a good sex life suggest you get familiar with your own body.

maybe you should threaten to cut it off with scissors if he does it again.

I have discovered wanking (and orgasmes) this year at the tender age of 34 ! Let me tell you I'm catching up on lost time, you should too op !

Well no wonder it's a sensitive issue after past experience.

MN is getting weirder by the day at the moment. So many rather odd posters. They can't all be from Daily Mail though can they?

I'm a Christian with a Christian upbringing. I don't care if DH feels like a wank.

And it has nothing to do with whether or not your sex life is 'sufficient'. You can get plenty of sex and still feel like a wank.

I think it's your prior experience that has affected your feelings.

honestly OP, the vast majority of men do wank (and women too).
If that had been my husband I probably would have laughed and taken the mickey a bit.

Yeah, some Christian communities are quite anti-masturbation. I think more liberal Christians acknowledge that God made sexual arousal so that people could enjoy pleasure, and that solitary pleasure (at any age) is one way of experiencing the joy of being human.

If your sex life is satisfying to both of you, then masturbation shouldn't really be a big problem. Your ex's porn addiction probably had a very negative impact on your relationship, but I think what you're talking about in your OP is quite different.

One thing I wondered about: when I was heavily pregnant I felt quite horny a lot of the time, but actual sex could get quite uncomfortable. So I'm just wondering if you're annoyed at your husband partly because you're feeling a bit unsatisfied yourself. If that's the case, maybe there are things he can do to help with that?

You're missing out op! Get involved!

Yabu it's his body and he can do what he likes with it. It's nothing to do with you and no reflection on your or your ability to satisfy him. Masturbation is healthy and normal and you're taking it way too personally.

I can understand with your previous experience and feeling 'like an elephant' which doesn't mean you look like an elephant why you're feeling a little sensitive.
I'm sure he didn't plan it or set time aside, he probably just felt like a fiddle, it's not a slight against you, try not to make him feel any worse than he already feels

I can understand with your previous experience and feeling 'like an elephant' which doesn't mean you look like an elephant why you're feeling a little sensitive.
I'm sure he didn't plan it or set time aside, he probably just felt like a fiddle, it's not a slight against you, try not to make him feel any worse than he already feels

What a wanker. (Sorry couldn't resist.)

I'm sorry but I don't believe this thread is genuine. Would anyone expect their partner to ask them to leave work so that they could have sex, to avoid him wanking?

If this is real, the OP is being absolutely ridiculous.

Of course YABU in your attitude.
You are pregnant though and forgiven, although this attitude is really not acceptable.

You shouldn't need to confront a partner and it's up to him what he does with his sexual appetite as long as it doesn't hurt you.
I'm a bit confused as why he would need to tell you he wasn't watching porn or having an affair.
Are you controlling or very insecure? Did you meet him as an affair or OW?
I can't think why you'd be bothered about a wank, unless it's pregnancy hormone related.