Pardon?

[MothersGrim]

AIBU to not bother with the word "Pardon" for my young children? It seems like a generational thing to me but my parents and in laws correct my young children when they ask "What?"

I was just curious what the expectation is nowadays, should I be teaching them 'pardon'? Is it bad manners not to

I'm being sarcastic. As for Delicate, sheesh. Take a look at yourself, why don't you?

My father came from a very smart family, and only ever referred to it as a lavatory, most of it wasn't referred to at all. My mother said loo, so I presume that's fine for girls!

My children's school likes to think its clients are smart, but all the staff use 'toilet', and my DS was pulled up for saying 'what' and told to use 'pardon'.
We just taught him that people use different lingos in different places, and he's fine.

I like to tell myself I'm above all this shit but when Swiss DH told the kids a napkin was a serviette I could feel my teeth itch.

Any - you are truly very posh. Using the word smart for posh!

Posh people never "pass away" or "fall asleep"

When I had my will drawn up the solicitor got more and more uncomfortable as I cheerfully discussed 'dying' and 'when I'm dead'. I took great delight in labouring the various sub-clauses: 'and if my partner dies then....and if my brother is dead, then....'. She was squirming in her seat. I imagine most of her clients refer to 'passing' in hushed tones.

I'm such a snob.

@SpiritedLondon
Yes, yes. No need for the mini-lecture. Surely everyone knows about Nancy Mitford?

Branko- if one burps or farts in company, one just doesn't refer to it! Likewise if someone you're with does it.
Catthief- my father still says 'glass', but he's probably older than your gran!

Actually, you don't sound as "middle class as they come...@RiverTam. What is "sheesh"? It sounds a bit odd.

yes thanks for the lecture Spirited, obviously the rest of us are illiterate oiks who would never have heard of old Nancy.

Well, common is as common does. I've come this far using "pardon" and "toilet" and it's done me no harm. I think it's very rude to judge people on their class and the way they speak. Far ruder than someone saying "pardon" when they believe they are being polite.

What's the posh way of saying "fall asleep"? That's one I've not heard (I am from the deepest proletariat but I had a lot of smart posh friends at uni, so I speak posh as a second language )

Isn't it amusing when people are caught out by others and they say they were only "being sarcastic"?!

I wasn't lecturing ....,, it just amuses me that these conversations are still going on.

My SIL says "P'din" when my children burp or something.

P'DIN!

I have to interject and say, "Excuse me!"

And we end up looking and sounding nuts....with her like and me

P'DIN!
EXCUSE ME!
P'DIN!

" I think it's very rude to judge people on their class and the way they speak."
oh come off it, we all do it, judge people on their accent and vocabulary, on one level or another. I think we would be lying if we denied this.
Obviously it would be very rude to say something, but nobody has said that they do that, have they?

I usually say 'sorry?'
'Or what was that, sorry?' or variations.

Wrt class - working class & upper class are usually quite similar; middle class is the class that the other 2 historically thumb their noses at.

Middle class of the past tried to distance themselves from working class but in the process their invented 'posh' phrases just marked them out to actual upper class as too try-hard, and to working class as snobby.

People from outside the country ( Johnny foreigners?) must have a hell of a time working all of this out.

Snobby or snobbish? Hmmm

If I'm with customers at work I'll say 'sorry, I didn't catch that' colleagues and everyone else get a what or an eh, what?

If someone uses pardon in conversation with me, I'll go with that.

I say napkin, STBXH, used to think it was common and always said serviette, he always thought I had ideas above my WC roots, the twat.

And she gave no fucks. Not even one. And lived happily ever after.

Delicate

It's a minefield!

If I was middle class I would care about possibly being wrong - as I am not I just couldn't give a fuck...
(Which means I am either working or upper class )

I would always say died, never pass away. I never associated that with class but then we certainly always said lavatory and never pardon and always table napkin. I never let the children say dessert rather than say pudding.

I agree the history of it is interesting and at the end of the day it's just a laugh. People are people whoever they are and wherever they are from. I do think it is important that our children know there are some people out there who might not like them wearing say brown shoes or the wrong suit if they want a particular job etc. Information is key and then if you want to breach all the rules so what? Also being able to fit in with anyone is a very very useful skill.

Ignoring something embarrassing as if it had never happened is always the best route, soemthing we English are particularly good at doing (thinking of the "Carry on up the Kyber" film where they keep on with their formal dinner even as the walls are bombed around them..... very funny)

But I like words derived from French. I like the french. I like France.

I still think "what" just sounds rude. Perhaps because up here in Yorkshire it sounds quite blunt "WOT?!". Maybe if it was softer it wouldn't sound so rude.

I do think that discussing the class one believes they belong to is very common indeed. "I am vair middle class" makes me think they're actually Hyacinth Buckayyy.

Moi aussi...!