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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go to a breeder?

80 replies

user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 19:47

I've always wanted a pet, either a little dog or two cats. I've always held out because I wanted to give my animal(s) the best life possible.

Now, I live in a very large flat (3 bedrooms and a really big balcony that I am going to split off, secure, and transform into a magical feline garden). The problem is, thinking about getting 2 cats, I just cannot accept that cats should be indoor pets. I don't care how much people say 'oh mine has never wanted to go out, mine is happy indoors, mine hates the outdoors' - the point is I could never really know that until I got my cats and then it would be too late. I would hate myself.

The one way I can think of around it is to get two Ragdolls. I've been researching and will do more research, but it seems these cats cannot be allowed outside.

AIBU to want to get two ragdolls from a breeder? Is the very existence of a breed that seemingly cannot survive in the outside world cruel in itself? My instinct is obviously to get moggies from a shelter. But... I don't know. Surely it would be crueller to get 2 moggies that are stuck indoors?

Before anyone suggests going to a breed-specific shelter: I'm not in the UK, they don't do that here.

Basically my choices are:
1/ Get 2 rescue moggies, feel guilty they have no access to outdoors.
2/ Get 2 ragdolls, feel guilty I didn't adopt 2 abandonned moggies.
3/ Fuck it, get a small dog.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Original poster
user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 20:14

Can you tell me more about your experience? The breed, whether you felt guilty at all, etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 20:15

"In your position where you are still weighing up your options, I think a visit to your local rescue would be ideal they will give you lots of advice and suggest suitable cats they may have."

You may be on to something. Thank you for your advice.

OP posts:
KC225 · 29/08/2016 20:16

In 92 (bloody hell that was a long time ago) I got the most wonderful indoor cat from a rescue shelter. I was taken around and told that one, that one and that one. The choices had only ever been indoor cats. All the others had been strays or had access to outdoors.

I currently have three cats that were indoor but due to a move abroad, now have access to a massive garden but the little darlings still come inside to shit. They have a cat flap which they use to go out. Arggggghhhhhh. Ragdolls are big beasts, do not underestimate the whiff of an indoor cat toilet first thing in the morning. If you work from home and can exercise it regularly I would go for a little dog.

Original poster
user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 20:16

So do you think a rescue moggie has a gratitude and appreciation that a bred cat doesn't have?

Do you think going to a breeder is morally wrong?

OP posts:
felineways · 29/08/2016 20:17

I think ragdolls tend be quiet long lived my boy is 16 and it's not uncommon for them to live to 20 which is a ripe old age for a pedigree.

Also uk ragdolls aren't really that floppy in general ( seems to be more desired and breed for in U.S.). However they are large cats, will need lots grooming and human company.

crayfish · 29/08/2016 20:18

I have Bengal cats from a breeder. I certainly don't lose any sleep over it and would get pedigree animals again. That said, I did a lot of research on both the breed and the breeder and I know that they were bred in a loving and appropriate environment. I was also 100% sure I wanted Bengals and you don't sound as if you are even sure what species you want!

I know rescue pets are 'better' in a lot of ways, but when I got my cats I lived in a flat (like yours) and no rescue would give me a cat. The only ones I could take had serious health problems which meant they had to be indoors. I had just nursed my last cat through cancer and watched him die so wasn't up for another sick pet right away. It was either a properly bred pedigree with all the papers etc, or a dubious gumtree moggy that had come from God knows where. I'm glad I made the choice I did, although I accept that 'bred' pets are not for everyone.

Having said all that, in your situation I would absolutely get a dog!

Maybebabybee · 29/08/2016 20:19

I can only speak from my own experience but my pure bred cats are the most tactile, loving, docile cats I have ever owned (and I have had cats ever since I was a tiny child).

I didn't feel guilty as I'd tried to get rescue ones first and been turned down. Breed wise they are the perfect indoor cats.

Soubriquet · 29/08/2016 20:21

If I wanted a specific breed, dog or cat, I will always go to a rescue.

Pedigrees are prone to genetic problems and seeing the bloodline can help make sure your animal doesn't have them

Bailey101 · 29/08/2016 20:21

My experience has been great - I love my wee babies and wouldn't be without them and I think they have a pretty awesome life too!
When I lived in a flat, they had loads of climbing trees and all sorts of toys to keep them busy and they would go out on the balcony to sunbath. I now live in a house with a garden and I've built a large run off of the French doors - it looks kind of like an aviary. It means they can go out without me worrying about cars and dogs etc.

StarryIllusion · 29/08/2016 20:21

Just a practicality thing: will you be able to be bothered going up and downstairs to allow the dog to pee every 2 - 4 hours? Including possibly in the night during puppyhood. Because the thing with little dogs is that they have little bladders. And once you start them on puppy pads you will never get them clean in the house. They can't differentiate between the pad and say a cushion or dropped jacket. Plus those things are rank and make your home STINK. I kid you not, my friend has them for her chihuahua and even though she changes it as soon as it is dirty her house still reeks of piss.

That is the only downside of having a dog in a flat.

felineways · 29/08/2016 20:21

Honestly a cat is a cat. A rescue cat is likely to need some tcl rather be grateful at being rescued. But with time and care will become a good pet.

Personally there is nothing wrong with going to a good breeder. Look for one who is registered, who lets you meet mum and dad, who vets you as an owner and for a ragdoll expect to pay £500.

On the hand a bad breeder who churns out cheaper kittens at the expense of mother cats and doesn't check where the kittens end up is not good at all in terms of animal welfare.

Original poster
user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 20:22

Interesting post thank you, and 're "Having said all that, in your situation I would absolutely get a dog!"

Really? This is why I'm so torn! I do have the ideal lifestyle for getting a dog. And I really like dogs. But cats....!

OP posts:
Bailey101 · 29/08/2016 20:22

Also, I don't fee guilty at all - one of them is still alive when he would be dead otherwise and the other spent a year in a tiny cubicle in a rescue centre. They now have great lives Smile

Wolfiefan · 29/08/2016 20:25

I would absolutely not have a dog in a flat. Toilet training would be a nightmare.
I would visit a shelter and look at FIV or deaf etc cats that can't go out.

MTBMUMMY · 29/08/2016 20:26

Just an idea, but I adopted a few elderly cats, typically they had a few years left, but their owners had passed away, most were blind or deaf, so had to be indoors cats, but I like to think I let them live out their final years in comfort, and as they're older they don't need litter training or wreck your house sharpening their claws on everything, all they really want is a lap, a cuddle and some food and water.

Greyhorses · 29/08/2016 20:27

I tried house cats once and hand reared pair from 3weeks old. They had never been outside but I didn't know their parentage.

I lasted less than a year. They fought, ruined furniture, weed on beds and generally caused a nuisance. They also tried to escape constantly and it drove me mad trying to keep doors and windows locked in summer.

We let them out after I couldn't deal with them any more and peace was restored, they only venture to the garden but are so much happier. I wouldn't have house cats again to be honest.

Saying that it's only my experience and im sure some cats can be happy but it's luck of the draw especially with moggies!

micemicebabies · 29/08/2016 20:29

As far as o know, rag dolls can go outside but some breeders make you sign a form saying they can't go out. To be fair you'd be worried they'd get stolen. Personally I think it's a shame.

Have you considered adopting a couple of adult cats who've never been outside? That way you are giving a great home to two homeless cats, and some are petrified of the great outdoors since they've never seen it. That's what I did and it's so rewarding.

Cat balconies are great, mines loves ours. I grow a bunch of cat friendly plants she can nibble, there's a whole trough of cat grass which she seems to adore, and for my last cat (this ones not interested) I also had a long pot with just soil which she loved to roll in. She was pure white haha, always ended up filthy but she seemed to love it.

crayfish · 29/08/2016 20:33

Well just personally, if I had a job which allowed me to be home enough I would get a dog. I love that they can go out and about with you and you can take them places. To be fair I would have cats too I think, I've had them my whole life and my heart belongs to cats I think.

I can totally understand your dilemma, but if you are going for cats I think you need to be ok with them basically being indoors. Mine are although they have permanent access to a large outdoor run and they are fine.

Jizzomelette · 29/08/2016 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jonsnowsghost · 29/08/2016 20:37

I've got a ragdoll in a flat with a balcony, he likes to sit out on the balcony when I open the door but he never cries to go out. He's not really floppy either! He's quite dog like too, very friendly and he is very handsome so I'd be more worried about him being stolen if he went out!

felineways · 29/08/2016 20:40

grey sorry to hear you had such experience. Although kittens wean earlier leaving mum before 14 weeks is too soon. It's very hard to litter tray and socialise a cat that's been removed from mum so early.

Original poster
user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 20:46

Well...all of your posts have been enlightening so far. I really am torn. I feel better about the idea of getting ragdolls from a breeder, and I also feel better about potentially adopting old/sick cats and them enjoying their last months in peace.

I also feel better about adopting a little dog.

So your messages have made me feel better - but not wiser :-D

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471379988 · 29/08/2016 20:48

Jizzomelette "Why are you not happy to have a cat inside but are happy to have a Ragdoll cat inside?"

Just because based on what I've read, ragdolls
a) Tend to not be able to have the nous to survive outside, although I'm sure there are 'blends' that do, and
b) Seem to, on average, feel much, much happier indoors compared to the average moggie.

OP posts:
ChocolateButton15 · 29/08/2016 20:49

Sorry I think having animals in flats (except hamsters,fish) is cruel and I live in a flat. Do not get a dog I feel so sorry for the dogs in flats around us and it's really annoying listening to them barking. Dogs need gardens. Even house cats need a bit of outside space to roam and there's a good reason rescue centres wouldn't give you one.
Some of your replies seem a bit childish like the magical feline garden thing and asking if a rescue cat would have gratitude and appreciation. Wtf!
Have you had pets before? Have you considered the less charming side like vets bills and the smell of cat shit in your flat? Where would you out a litter tray?

eightbluebirds · 29/08/2016 20:51

I'm very Pro rescue but in your circumstances getting ragdolls from a breeder is possibly your best option if you're not keen on rehoming older cats etc.

Lots of cats are happy indoors but for cats it's 100% the choice of the cat and if they want to be outdoors, they won't be happy locked in a house.

I think cats are safer indoors however i also think cats are much happier being outdoor cats and all of mine have been outdoor cats. One of mine was crying to be out from day 1 and it's such a cry that anyone who insisted he was an indoor cat would have utterly lost there marbles at it.