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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH U or am I paranoid? Locking doors at night

205 replies

Spiderpigspiderpig · 28/08/2016 23:00

We live in a bungalow. Front door and back door are on the left of the building and are opposite each other... Hallway & kitchen between them. We have another external door at the back on far right handside of building in ds room. So 2 rear external doors & 1 front one. The one in ds room is closest to all of the other bedrooms.

Before be Dh prefers to lock all door and hang keys up in kitchen.

I prefer to lock doors but leave all keys in locks.

His argument is that a burgular will smash a window and reach the key, so it's not safe to do this.

My argument is that if there's a fire we'll be trapped in the house as we won't be able to get to keys. Our windows don't open enough to climb through.

Who is bu?

OP posts:
clam · 31/08/2016 21:01

The police told my friend when she was burgled that they were after her car, come-what-may, (a top-of-the-range BMW convertible), and therefore it was just as well the car keys were accessible in the hall. I mean, let's face it, would you want thieves coming up to your bedroom to get them?

Yasmin1592 · 31/08/2016 21:06

Can't you take the keys to bed with you, and leave your sons key on his bedside table, easy to find at night.

OutToGetYou · 31/08/2016 21:11

I actually don't think it's something that can be solved here, as all houses are different.

You can't get out of our windows, they don't open widely enough, and breaking them would take an age because they are separated into small squares by wooden cross sections.

We don't have windows in our front door nor hall, so the key hook cannot be seen. The keys hook onto it in a sort of loop so I think it would be hard to get them off with a magnet (though I might try it with dp fishing rod and see) plus they are quite far from the door.

It occurs to me they might be visible from the French windows as the living room opens onto the hall, so I might try peering in with a torch one night and see, then move them if necessary.
Although we leave the key on the lock it could not be turned from outside as we pull it out very slightly, so they'd have to somehow pull it back in from the other side first to turn it and I actually think this is impossible.

But, on balance, I hate the way our door has to be physically locked. It means it's nearly always actually unlocked and someone could just walk in when we're watching TV. Or dp and I go out, dss is on the top floor, he can't hear anything on the ground floor, so the whole house could be burgled and he'd never know. Or we lock him in which I'm not keen on as the chances of him finding a key to get out if he needs to (and it's not only in fire you might need to get out, if there is a burglar it would be a good idea to get out if you can, or he might just want to go to the shops!) is slim to nil.

So that's why we're getting a new door. Because I want a different type of lock and apparently that type can't be fitted to our current door.

OutToGetYou · 31/08/2016 21:13

Also, I have a really crappy car which is as good a burglar deterrent as any, they think we are poor and they don't want the car either!

BestZebbie · 31/08/2016 21:16

YANBU - keys should stay with doors at night, within reach of everyone in the house (possible exception if you have a very small child who might decide to let themselves out without a fire). If the keyhole is too accessible from the window, on a hook in the doorframe on the far side from the glass.

However....if a burglar can smash their way in, an adult should be able to smash their way out, using a chair (or a fire hammer).

treaclesoda · 31/08/2016 21:17

I'm with the OP on this one.

Even though I know the official advice is not to leave keys in the door, I have a massive fear of being locked in, fire or no fire. I can't bear it when the keys aren't in the lock.

I'm trying to think which is realistically a bigger risk to me, based on where I live. One of the neighbours had a house fire a few years ago, the house was gutted (no one injured though, thankfully). And there have been a few 'bikes stolen from the garage' type burglaries. Haven't heard of anyone having their house broken into during the night. But that's not to say it can't or won't happen...

I think all I can do is base it on what I fear more, and I am more afraid of fires than burglars...

JustDanceAddict · 31/08/2016 21:19

We got burgled like that. They managed to reach it & get the key out through the cat flap. Never left key in door again.,

Thissideof40 · 31/08/2016 21:22

We normally take keys out and leave the back door key on sideboard next to door and the front door key on tall boy where phone is.

Tbh although my instinct is to take keys out of the doors the only way a burglar could get the back door key is if they manage to get the whole window out of the door (double glazed). In that case they could just climb through anyway. The front door would be riskier though with a letter box so those keys are out of sight if anyone looked through the letterbox.

treaclesoda · 31/08/2016 21:23

I also make a point of leaving the car keys and my purse and DHs wallet downstairs, on the grounds that if we are burgled, those will be the things that the burglars will want. So they are unlikely to come upstairs and actually do us harm...

FrameyMcFrame · 31/08/2016 21:26

I'm with you.
I'd rather get out quickly in a fire.
Also, what if you had visitors and they didn't know how to get out? Or your DC got trapped?
We have doors that lock as you shut them but open with a catch from the inside so you only need a key to get in not out!!

chicaguapa · 31/08/2016 21:35

I haven't RTFT but keys in doors (or not) is my hobby horse. Angry

The best way it's been described to me is that trying to get out of a house that's on fire is like trying to get out if it's full of water. So rummaging around for keys, especially if they're in another room is not going to be possible if your house is on fire. Imagine having your eyes closed and holding your breath whilst trying to get the keys and getting them in the lock.

And what about if other members of the family need to get out but you have the keys in your room?

If OP's DH wants to keep the keys to the exits in the kitchen (where statistically fires are more likely to start Hmm) what is his escape plan in case of fire?

Personally I'd rather risk someone breaking in to steal my TV than getting stuck in my house in a fire.

FrameyMcFrame · 31/08/2016 21:41

don't deadlock yourself inside a house at night

ljfarminer · 31/08/2016 22:18

Keys on small hook near each door in a place where you can get them in a fire but burglars can't get or see them if they smash a window.

xholsx · 31/08/2016 22:35

I have all the keys for every window and doors in the house blue tac to the top of the frame where my 3 yr old can't reach it but if there's a fire we can.

gotthearse · 31/08/2016 23:10

Better to lose stuff than die in a fire. Could you compromise on keys in when ur home, keys out when you are not?

No matter what your approach, all families should have a fire plan - who would do what to get who out, remembering you may have seconds, total darkness and thick black smoke.

I have seen enough burned out homes, it's horrific.

gooddays · 31/08/2016 23:22

With you - I'd like to know I could get out of the house in case of a fire (I have a rope ladder under my bed!) sounds like a good plan to get keys cut & have sets on your bedside table.
I leave key in back door -small window in door & a big dog so sort of feel safe doing it, front door & car keys left in hallway by front door - got a porch so don't think someone could reach throu 2 doors to keys!

driveninsanebythehubby · 01/09/2016 00:51

I'm with you OP. Years ago I was told on a fire safety thing that you should always leave a key in the doors as in a smoke filled house you may not be able to find where you left the keys (or identify the right one on a bunch).

I am a light sleeper (Max 1 hour of deep sleep a night) so I'm sure I'd hear someone trying to break in. I have a major phobia of the house being on fire during the night (I have so many different escape scenarios worked out!) is rather risk burglary than trapped in a burning building where you literally have a matter of minutes to get out - they say a house fire can take hold of the whole house within 4 mins!

However - our front door has no window in it or near it anyway. Our patio doors lead to the conservatory so they've got to get through them but if they smash a patio door window they won't worry about turning the key anyway! The back door is probably the biggest risk - it has a window in it and a cat flap. But the lock is broken and you can't actually take the key out when it's in the lock position anyway (only when unlocked!). To get to the back door you do have to get into & through the garden anyway. Also we are at the bottom of a shared drive with 4 houses to go past before ours. I do feel we are low risk in that sense (touch wood!)

woodsies1975 · 01/09/2016 03:12

When my DS was little we were offered a free fire security check by the Fire Service. Guy came out and fitted new smoke alarms and asked us about our fire evacuation route. We have uPVC doors and windows and he asked us how we would get out if we couldn't get to our keys which all hang up at the end of the hall, nowhere near front or side door. Since then we leave a spare key on top of burglar alarm panels, as we have one by each door. We also leave window keys on each windowsill. He recommended we have a plan so that in a panic we don't just run around uselessly. DH gets DD as she's older and bigger and I get DS and if it's safe we get out downstairs. He recommended having a mobile in our room with us ie not digital as power and phone lines can go in the event of a fire. It really made us think and I'm pleased it did. So in short, we don't leave the keys in the locks but we do have them near each door for an emergency.

wherethewildrosesgrow · 01/09/2016 07:00

leave the keys in the door, think, if there was a fire, could your children get out alone if you were injured, if the keys were on a hook, could they reach them, and put them in the door themselves, if the house was already filled with thick smoke ??, if a thief wants to break in, they will get in, with or without keys, if they are going to smash the window, they are already in anyway, which is worse, a break in, or being trapped right beside the outside door of a smoke filled house ?

MummyBarrow · 01/09/2016 07:34

Check your insurance policy. It may be invalidated by leaving keys in the back of the lock Keep a spare on top of the door frame stuck down with blu tac. A burglar won't see it but you can reach it in an emergency

TeaRexit · 01/09/2016 07:44

driveninsanebythehubby Have you looked at rope ladders for domestic use? Im thinking of getting one. We do have smoke detectors, but Im a worrier too.

here

JennyOnAPlate · 01/09/2016 07:55

Ours stay in the lock. If there's a fire, every second counts. By the time you find the right key, manage to get it in the lock (potentially with impaired vision if there's smoke) and get the door open, it could be too late. I know my young dc wouldn't be able to unlock the door in those circumstances, but they could turn a key that was already there.

What if you are trapped in your room with the keys by fire, leaving your dc no means to get out of the house?

kaelea · 01/09/2016 15:54

Many many years ago I was burgled, they smashed a window to get in, but got out through the back door, the keys weren't in the door but nearby and close enough for them to find :-(

Now I take keys out and leave them where they are hidden but easy to find if its dark and we need to get out

JacquesHammer · 01/09/2016 16:15

I take keys out of the doors but front door and back door are near the doors in question.

Neither could be got by people outside/reaching in.

I also leave them laid so the relevant key is straight away available

WhooooAmI24601 · 01/09/2016 16:20

DH alwaysused to hide our keys as he locked up. Our neighbours were burgled solely for their cars a few years back and they were interrupted by the DH waking as they rooted through their drawers downstairs searching for the keys. They beat him senseless and still managed to get away with his Audi, getting caught 20 or so miles down the road as the wrote off the car and tried to run the wrong way down a dual carriageway.

Since then I make him leave the keys in a box that says "keys" on the wall next to the front door. Not reachable but if anyone came in looking they'd have immediate access to them and hopefully not wake us up in the process. If it's going to happen I'd rather they were in and out quickly.