BYOB what does it cover?

[manyathingyouknow]

I'm just back from attending my niece's 1st birthday party and I'm not sure iabu. It was a barbecue and my sister in law had sent out a text saying BYOB last week. No problem (I'd have provided drink if I were inviting people round for a get together like a child's birthday party but each to their own) and my husband gets himself sorted with some beers. i was driving so I wouldn't be having alcohol. I decided to stop in last minute to buy a bottle of coke and Diet Coke which my husband thought was strange. Turned up and it turns out my hunch was right. If you wanted a drink then it was water or nothing. They provided no soft drinks or diluting juice. Now I don't know if iabu but when i have a party to celebrate something like a birthday etc then I will at least buy soft drinks in!! I would be mortified if people showed up and I couldn't offer them anything but water my SIL father asked for a soft drink and
she came out the kitchen and scolded him because he knows she doesn't buy soft drinks you're having a party!! So there we were all drinking the Coke if brought. Is it me or do you at least provide soft drinks??

Also why is it the responsibility of your sister-in-law and not, apparently, also of your brother?

There's always one who has to turn a completely unrelated thread into a faux-feminist issue. Maybe the OP's brother was doing all the cooking (as is common for men at BBQs) so she assumed her sister-in-law was doing the drinks side of it (which in this case turned out to be turning on a tap ). Maybe OP only references her sister-in-law because she sent out the BYOB text, therefore was in charge of drinks. Maybe the OP's brother has run away with the circus/his wife's best friend/the milkman and wasn't there at all. Who cares?! The question was 'do you have to be as tight as a camel's arse in a sandstorm not to even buy a couple of bottles of pop'. BTW, my answer would be a resounding 'yes'.

Fell asleep last night!

queenbean we brought drink - non alcoholic and alcoholic, along wit a present for DN.

I've just never been to a party where no one has provided soft drinks! Not even diluting juice

I hate to come across as stealth boasting when I say that soft drinks would most definitely be provided if I host a party

. "If you cannot survive 2-3 hours of a kids party without alcohol then bring your own or don't come."

A kids party is precisely the occasion when a glass of wine is very welcome! Loads of Screaming kids and paranoid parents, unless there are only a few kids there they're pretty hellish usually.

As far as BYOB goes, it's bring your own bottle. Up to you if you want to take alcohol or soft drinks. If I had an invitation with that on, I would expect that whatever I took would be for me to consume and not to have to give to other guests because the host hadn't provided the right things! At a party that we host we always get in some beer, wine and soft drinks. It wouldn't usually be enough to cater for everybody because in our family everybody usually brings a bottle of wine or something to contribute to the overall stash of stuff so there is plenty to go round. If anyone was drinking something very specific they would usually make it clear when they arrive that what they'd brought was for themselves. I wouldn't think them tight as while they're consuming their own stuff they're not consuming something I've bought so it's swings and roundabouts.

OP, your host should have provided teas/coffees and minimal soft drinks. I think you were generous to share your coke around - the people who wanted some should just have had a cup of tea or water instead rather than nab yours!

Mind you, you can never please all your guests as a host. We provided everything one Christmas party and SIL refused to have any drink she was offered because the mixers we had were not diet ones and there were too many calories in the wine and beer. You'd think she'd have let it go on that one occasion and just had normal coke but she stood there saying "it's fine, I'm ok with water" when clearly it was awkward and DH had to go out and buy some Diet Coke just for her.

If people are on a strict diet they should make sure they take appropriate food and drink to a party because we don't do diet versions of things in our house as I don't believe in diet industry stuff.

I was mortified when people asked for a soft drink and my SIL told them they could water she then proceeded to ask if people could drink the juice i brought which of course is fine but for the sake of a fiver you think she could have brought some in

Hopefully she's learned a lesson. You do have to provide a couple of basics at parties if you're hosting. Don't have one otherwise.

Almost all kids' parties I've been to have been just tea or coffee- eg in a church hall or play centre. Sometimes there has been booze when the party was at a house or a glass of fizz at a christening but it hasn't been the norm by any means.

"As far as BYOB goes, it's bring your own bottle. "

No, it can also mean bring your own booze. It's also used by restaurants that don't sell alcohol, but will let you bring and drink your own for a corkage fee.

I can't believe how difficult some people make it. Every party I've ever hosted I've provided food and drink, but in the expectation that people would bring a little something extra. In all but two cases, that's exactly what happened.

The exceptions were one friend who I've since learned takes everything very literally (ie she says 'do I need to bring anything?', I say 'No, just yourself', so she turns up empty-handed, who I'm now more direct with (eg suggesting maybe if she likes a particular drink to bring that). The other was a friend's mother (a mutton dressed as lamb type) who turned up uninvited and then complained there was nothing gluten free She said as she left, in a rather patronising tone, 'Next time you invite me, do some salad'. I resisted the urge to point out that I hadn't invited her - and never did again.

I understood it to be Bring Your Own Booze. I've never hosted that way but if I did I'd have soft drinks, juices, and mixers on hand.