To think 15 and 13 is too old to relocate?

[NorthRose]

We currently live in San Francisco, DH has been offered a promotion based in London, England for 5 years starting April 2017.

At that point DS will be 15 turning 16 in September 2017 and DD will be 13 turning 14 in December 2017.

They're far too old to join the English school system so will have to attend an American School.

But my issue isn't the schooling, I think that they're far too old and too settled to be removed, they've lived in our house/our street/our neighbourhood their entire lives.

Although it's Europe I'm still worried about a culture shock, DCs do a lot of sports that may not be on offer in England, Hockey , Baseball, Lacrosse etc

Our entire family is in the U.S, DCs will both be attending University in America, with DD we'll be going back the year she's suppose to start but when DS moves back we'll still be located in England, which will just make the whole process a lot harder then it has to be.

DH has said that turning down the promotion means his career stagnates for a few years as he most likely won't be offered anything else for a long time.

Both DCs are on the fence about going.

I don't know if I'm being too cautious about this, it seems better to wait 4 or 5 years and then do the move if he's offered a similar opportunity when DCs both leave home.

I wasn't denying the existence of ice hockey in the UK, I was just clarifying. You know, translating zucchini into courgette for our transatlantic friend

There's also some awesome American football and softball leagues in the UK (well awesome for a foreign sport).

Seriously, I would go for it. They will be the envy of their friends.

Starry. Was that a joke about no such thing as soccer? Sorry I found it funny - as it is the same game. And it is also called soccer here sometimes and exported over the pond.

Would it affect the fees payable for your dc if they go to usa universities op? I think someone may have alluded to this upthread. I don't know how it works in usa, but living abroad can mean uk citizens have to pay full overseas fees to uk universities when they return - which is much more expensive.

I moved between US and English school systems, I have GCSE's and a US High School diploma, I went to a US uni too and could've got in with the GCSE's I got in England at 16, any qualifications I did between 16-18 were pretty pointless, so having English qualifications isn't a deterrent to uni admission. My parents lived in the UK while I was at uni in the US, I saw them plenty, most summers and s few Christmas breaks. It would be much easier now, with electronic media.

It's doable.

Plenty of baseball teams run via the very active US expat community in London . Working in Canary Wharf and wanting proximity to the American school you'd be looking at anything north of Regents Park for city living or if you want something less cosmopolitan somewhere like Weybridge out in Surrey but big expat community, school and decent commute to London.

Fantastic opportunity for the kids . I'd be all for it especially as the kids have never lived anywhere else as it would really broaden their horizons.

My family moved countries when I was 16 and my two sisters were 13. I found it really difficult. I am on the quiet side, and never made friends at my new high school. I was miserable. Things improved when I went to uni, but after uni I left the country, which shocked my parents a bit. I now feel slightly estranged from everyone due to the distance.

My sisters on the other hand, being younger, seemed to cope much better. They made friends, started fresh at high school along with their peers, and are very settled in that country.

I would say really consider the personalities of your children.

I moved country slightly younger than that and back. It's great. Your children will learn about different places and cultures, learn to fit in and adapt, learn new skills, sports and have different opportunities. They may well find that they love new things, it will certainly broaden their horizons.

I just spent a week with my best friend from my ex-pat days and her family. It's been 25 years and felt like no time at all. My DD got to hang out with her children, who are Dutch and Italian with German thrown in for good measure. Children of the world, not just one place.

BTW London is not just like every other big city. Neither is Paris or Sydney or Beijing. They are all different.

Just came back from a trip to the U.S. where I met up with a friend who moved from Surrey to SF about 3 years ago.
We were discussing things and she was saying how due to globalisation she found that living in SF was pretty like London (just London us a lot flatter). The only thing we could think that was majorly different is the way cross roads worked and that London is easier to cycle in than SF.
Go for it you and your sons can always move back if you hate it!

I have lived in San Francisco and London and trust me, San Francisco is NOT anything like London. Surrey, maybe, I've never lived in Surrey so I can't comment. I don't think there are any amazing beaches in Surrey though.

www.theguardian.com/business/2016/feb/23/vienna-named-worlds-top-city-for-quality-of-life

www.mercer.com/newsroom/western-european-cities-top-quality-of-living-ranking-mercer.html

I have lived in SF, London, NYC. And other major world cities. They are all different. And all do-able with children. It really depends on your attitude going into the new adventure.

Talk to your DC. Understand new expectations vis a vis work with the promotion position. And maybe decide as a family.

As a fall back, should one of the DC absolutely continue to hate (strong word) the new situation/school/lifestyle, is there someone back "home" that they could live with to finish out schools? I've seen that happen with all parties feeling happy and relieved.

We actually have both types of football. Although if you want to see the Superbowl live you have to get up at 2.00am. Link below to find a team to join

www.britishamericanfootball.org/

If you want to see NFL games there are three in the UK in October, 3rd, 7th 30th

Indianapolis Colts v Jacksonville Jaguars
Giants v Rams
Redskins v Bengals

I wouldn't move them at this age unless it was absolutely imperative to my DH's/my career in the present/near future to relocate. Doesn't sound as though it is. I'd wait.

Hmm. I don't think it would be a huge culture shock for the kids if they stayed within the American school system. I do think that experience of living overseas is hugely valuable, and that pushing kids out of their comfort zones a bit is sometimes a really good thing.

That said, I'm not sure that I'd choose to move my dd at that age. Tbh, I've kind of made the decision to let my own career stagnate for a few years for precisely this reason - I don't want to uproot her.

I think a lot really depends on how the kids feel about it all. Talk through the pros and cons with them and see what they think. Lots of people will disagree, but I think they're old enough to have a say.

Would you consider your DH going alone and the rest of you spending all your holidays in London? School holidays are quite long in the US, as far as I understand. I guess that wouldn't really work with your job though.

I think the opportunity to live in London for five years is an amazing one.
It's one of the most interesting cities in the world!
The chance for a teenager to experience all the different things, make lifelong memories of a new country, while they're maturing would be great.

(Unless they're V shy and anxious, or find new things / making friends awkward and difficult.)

I live in Guildford - it has a bus service to the ACS in Cobham (door to door possible), DH has commuted into Canary Wharf, and it has a professional ice hockey team as well as lots of junior teams.
There is a reasonable amount of Ice Hockey in this country (but if you say Hockey most people will think of field hockey). Lacrosse is common at private girls schools but also played by other schools (DD has played it at her state school, and the national championships were held here last year).

I'd definitely go for it, as a great time to "educate" your children about the world, and experience another culture. Great chance to visit Europe too.

For your DH - a long commute here will involve using the train - driving is not to be recommended (especially to Canary Wharf).

Yanbu. Your children's stability needs to come first.

First: why are they sitting on the fence? Because they don't want to say no, or because you are also sitting on the fence?

Second: what could happen if after a year it wasn't working and you wanted to go back?

Third: would the experience of living abroad improve their chances of being accepted in a better university?

Experiencing different cultures (and that could include travelling in Europe more easily) is not a bad thing. I'd have a solid backup plan and go for it, if nobody is opposed.

Realistically, I think it comes down to whether both children are the naturally outgoing bubbly kind who make loads of friends easily, or if they're more introverted.

If the former, this could be a fabulous experience. If the latter, I would have serious reservations.

Not baseball, though we have similar games I think.

No, we play baseball too and softball and american football. If she's near London, I don't think the sports thing will be an issue. There's a huge amount on offer and he might find something different he likes too. Might be different if she was moving to the arse end of nowhere.

There's women's lacrosse (teenage girl),at Cobham & also in Regents Park in North London. Men's lacrosse isn't played at London schools but is played at university level.

I would be very wary of moving a teenager who only had junior & senior year left in High School, which I think would be the case. College applications are based on junior year gpas together with SATs/ACTs aren't they & it would be tough to move to a new school at such a crucial time.

Okay clearly sports will not be an issue.

DCs are on the fence because DH presented the trip as the best thing since sliced bread and I just sat their trying to keep things realistic, they both walked away pretty much on the fence, DD does keep asking questions about London, so I think she's leaning towards going.

They're both outgoing kids, I don't think they'll struggle with making new friends, I do think they'll terribly miss their olds ones

If we go there, we can't come back until the 5 years are up.

Everyone's replies have been helpful, 90% seem to have had a great experience when moving as Teens and I now do feel that I'm being too protective.

I would get some advice - perhaps by posting in the higher education forum here but also checking with professionals - on the meaning of settled under the 1971 immigration act. Your eldest will have been resident in the UK for 3 years by the time they reach 18 and depending on the replies to the Immigration question might qualify for UK home fees. UK university courses are 3 years not 4 and Americans sometimes send their children to university here even with international fees.

13 is not too old to start at an English school if attending a UK university seems financially beneficial. It's possible to sit SATS tests here and you have Fulbright for help with American universities www.fulbright.org.uk/

Minority sports here may not be played at the same level, that could be an issue if you were looking for sports scholarships but they might be in an England team rather than what would be seen as a low level team at home.

It would be a major shock for the young people, I would only do it if I thought they made friends easily. However I'm sure they could have visits from their old friends, many Americans love to visit London.