To think DP didn't fool anyone

[EarlGrayAndCake]

We were sitting in a very genteel cafe when DP looked uncomfortable and leaned to the left. A massive trump came ripping out.

DP looks horrified, whispers 'oh, shit!' and then announces to the cafe at large 'Oh! Erm,mosques,h chairs!'

AIBU to think he fooled no one?

I told him the pigeons on the roof had fucking heard it

I have shoes that make farting noises.....I don't wear them very often!

I tried to make the chair do it again to show them but it just wouldn't.

I know! You can never seem to replicate the noise. Really annoying.

Gosh how classy.

Our family still talks about the fart in the Flambards cafe/restaurant 30 years ago. (This is the Flambards theme park in Cornwall.)

The 4 of us sat round a table, on wooden benches. Cafe is quite large and there's a fair few people.

Dad let rip, and the wooden bench somehow amplified it. It was so loud I'd swear it echoed. Mum, DBro and I all avoided looking at each other, and I know if I had looked at them, I'd have died laughing (as well as of embarrassment). We slunk out and left Dad behind. Once safely away, DBro and I just corpse.

That is funny

Ignore all the posters that pretend they have never farted weirdos.
At least he was embaressed unlike my ex who would fart regardless of company or situation

Do people who say 'how classy' have any actual class themselves?

No Hunsnetloser they just think it makes them sound superior.

Happy bunch on MN this afternoon aren't they OP?

Did he lean to the left to allow the fart to escape? If he deliberately freed up his bumhole to let rip, then that isn't funny.

I think so izzy

I'm immature, have no class and find farts funny. I would have sniggered profusely if I'd been sitting at the next table. As it is, the random insertion of 'mosques' has me sniggering now .

'The fart in the Flambards café' is a classic family legend too .

Well he encouraged it by leaning.

2 points:

1. My DP is still sniggering - which says so much about the level of humor in our house.

1. I just love how classy you name is Earlgreyandcake juxtaposed with a story about farting.

Hilarious

That was clearly his rookie mistake pasic he should have clenched while slowly breathing out.

I love the idea of a public farting rookie.

IzzyIsBusy perhaps you could offer a masterclass?

At the risk of becoming a poo/fart troll ther are times in the month where i cannot control my expelling of internal air or the smell so over the years i have self taught the least embaressing way.

Try being me: I have a stoma and pass wind very loudly and it can last a lifetime. I have no warning and it has various musical notes the pft pft pft..... The ppppppfffffffttttttttt etc. And I have three sons and teach full time. The only thing I can do is look with disdain at the nearest teen (I am joking before anyone gets upset)

I think glaring at the nearest teen is the perfect strategy!

DP did something similar in a Starbucks one, he lent over to pick up DS's rattle and let rip, he then went "wow, that was loud for a baby"

I couldn't help myself, I started laughing, not only was it a comical loud dart but he had tried to pass it off as his sons who was about 4months old 😂

My OH knows to no longer let anything out in public as our little boy hears even the most silent of butt guffs and shouts "Daddy did a fart!". He also points and jumps up and down so there is no question of who dealt it.

The mistake he made was leaning to the left. He should have gone to the right, then it would have been fine.

On holiday with my family a few years ago, did one that seemed to bounce off the plastic sunlounger. Thankfully out of season and v.quiet. Did a casual glance around - phew, nobody near... other than my 5yo old niece who hollered "Mum! MrsJA has done a loud pop and didn't say 'excuse me'!" This was 10 years ago and the family still remind me of it.