To not agree with his choice

[ShinyDiscoBalls]

My nan sadly passed away last year, and left a substantial amount of money to myself and younger brother. After initially spending a large amount on home improvements and our soon to be born DS (who is now 6 months) we decided to put the rest away to help out in the future and while I was off work after maternity leave.
My DH is currently doing a post grad qualification at uni as well as working full time, and has the option of doing a masters next year. The qualification has been paid for by work, however the masters must be paid by himself. Basically he wants me to use my nan's money to fund his masters.
I feel selfish saying no, as I feel it should be 'our' money with us being married. We have a fantastic relationship and I want him to be happy, but I also feel he's being a bit mean expecting us to use the money for himself.

There are a lot of things I would have spent the money on had I been single, but I'm not, and I felt the money was best saved for our family. AIBU??

[Pisssssedofff]

It's a lot of money that adds very little if anything yo your salary. However it is starting to become the new differentiating factor. A bachelors is a given now, the juice jobs are going to those who gained experience along with a masters

[whywonthedgehogssharethehedge]

It won't be £3,500. You are looking double that at the very least. I looked into it 10 years ago and it was more than that to do a one year masters.

If he has no intention of taking a promotion the masters might offer then it seems a waste of time to me. He has just done a big stint in education and you have a baby.

I think regardless of anything else it's bad timing to try and do it now and it really does just seem like an ego boost. If he has no drive or desire to use it to further his career what is the point?

[MaddyHatter]

You're quite generous to be seeing it as 'our' money.

i'm afraid i'm a little more selfish when it comes to inheritance... i got $14k between my nan and my dad and i haven't given DH a penny.. i bought him a car, but he bought me one out of his redundancy money, so tit for tat.

I've spent a bit on the house and some holidays, but if he came cap in hand for that much, he'd be told to get lost, its my rainy day fund! He has pensions and AVC's that will mature and he can cash in, we're also inline for quite a lot when my mom goes (hopefully not for years but its a significant amount) so i've made it clear, whats left is not for use!

i think £3.5 is a lot, especially if his job isn't secure, i would save it and keep it working for you in the event of anything going tits up.

[Bagina]

The price could be right. My pg diploma just needed an extra year and 60 points to turn it into a masters. Perhaps it's like that?

[Hastalapasta]

Agree with you op, it's fun being a student, but a lot of graduate jobs are going to people with Masters and PhDs. It is really hard to study with little ones around, worth doing if you have funding and a career trajectory, but not just because 'I fancy it'!

[whywonthedgehogssharethehedge]

I'm all for education but for a purpose. Unless you have so much money it makes no difference paying for education beyond degree level should have a worthwhile benefit at the end imo.

[Petal40]

Keep that money for yourself ..for the future.no one knows what's round the corner ..if one day you end up a single mum you will be glad you have a safety net

[ImperialBlether]

I agree with Arfarfanarf. He doesn't like putting effort in, does he? He'll do an MA, but doesn't want to work hard at work so that he gets promotion. He'll do the MA with your money, but he won't save up and use his own.

Keep your money, OP. You've spent it all on the house and on his car. Keep a bit left for yourself.

[ShinyDiscoBalls]

He's already doing a two year course funded by work, which is some sort of qualification he needs to work at the level he is currently working at. Part of the course is a dissertation. The third year is optional, and would have to be funded by himself, he can use the dissertation towards it, and the end qualification would be a masters. So I'm assuming the two other years all count towards it if he wants them to? That was my understanding of it all

[ShinyDiscoBalls]

I was fine with the new car, as at that point I didn't drive and it would be 'the family car' but I have since then passed my test and got myself a little second hand Peugeot, so that was my little treat I suppose.
If I thought the masters was going to be an important aspect then I wouldn't hesitate to help fund it, but he has said himself it doesn't really guarantee any more security than the qualifications he already has

[ShinyDiscoBalls]

Basically we have £15,000 left. But I want to put a chunk of that away for DS. So after paying for the masters, it doesn't really leave much

[powershowerforanhour]

Your little treat was a second hand peugeot. His was presumably a bigger newer car more fitting his manly status ( and in keeping with what his workmates drive?). And he wants a masters (for fun) as well. Hmm.

[HyacinthFuckit]

No, you're not being unreasonable. He wants to do a Masters primarily for amusement. I don't agree with the poster upthread who said education was pointless in that scenario, education for its own sake is a valid and valuable thing and it's legitimate for him to want to do a course that doesn't necessarily improve employment prospects. But in that scenario it would basically be a hobby. So the question is should he get more than a fifth of the remaining inheritance to pursue an expensive solo pastime for a couple of years. TBH it doesn't sound like you're rich enough for that!

[ShinyDiscoBalls]

Yep, you're all saying what I'm already thinking. I think I will have a chat with him today and see where it goes

[memyselfandaye]

So he's had 3k towards a car and he wants up to 10k for his masters?

He basically wants most of the inheritence then?

[dempsin]

www.gov.uk/funding-for-postgraduate-study The government loan is a pretty good deal, it has a similar repayment system to the UG loans so if his salary doesn't increase afterwards then he might not ever repay it, and even if it does, it is only a percentage of his salary above a certain threshold. If his current study counts towards the MA then it might not be that expensive to get the top-up.

Personally I have done an MA purely for personal interest (with young dc) and it was very worthwhile and fulfilling for me, but I wouldn't have considered it if it meant compromises on other family spending.

[CheesyWeez]

I'm worried about the balance OP. He's got a brand new car with your nan's money, you've got a second hand Peugeot? His colleagues are probably encouraging him to do his masters if they see him arriving in a new car, they think money's not a problem. He can get a cheaper car if he wants to do the masters.
Personally I think brand new cars are a bad investment, they lose so much value on the day you drive out of the showroom.
I don't know about student loans these days, but can he fund a masters with a loan from the govt? (genuine question, is that possible? And then you pay it off at a rate you can afford, a much cheaper rate than a car finance loan).
Good luck OP, this conversation might seem to you like a big confrontation, but he sounds like any money burns a hole in his pocket. If you want to put the money away for DC then do it, Invest it in way that it can benefit your child and any future children and you can't touch it for a few years.
You could talk to an independent financial advisor, consult for a small fee and get perspective. Talk it through (by yourself) with a woman advisor. I know an IFA who says she regularly meets couples who have come with a specific financial idea in mind (making an investment, planning a pension etc) and then she and the couple find that they have widely differing and unshakeable ideas about what to do (eg. husband thinks they should obviously buy a retirement cottage, wife thinks obviously a trust fund is the way to go - and they look at each other in bafflement). Sort this out before too much time goes by!

[CheesyWeez]

sorry X-posted with dempsin. slow typing. That's very interesting about the loans!

[FantasticButtocks]

Your nan left it to you, not him! I think he's got a cheek and it's a shame he hasn't got more dignity than to see her money as a free-for-all to do what he wants with. YANBU.

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

Lock it in to an ISA for a couple of years

[lucyandpoppy123]

Sorry not rtft
You can get student finance to help fund masters now can you? A lot of my friends graduated this year and are considering masters for this reason. I think this is the first year they are funding it, it might be Uni specific actually, not sure