To feel so guilty about my baby's flat head?

[Twirlyw00]

My gorgeous little girl is nearly six months and I absolutely adore her. However, she has a very flat head from lying on her back and I am really struggling with my feelings about it. I feel so, so guilty and as though I've let her down. I feel as though I'm worrying about it constantly, even waking in the middle of the night and wondering where I went wrong, and I feel teary and anxious if I think about it too much.

I've spoken with two different doctors both of whom have said that it will become much less noticeable with time (and hair!) and I'm trying to keep her off her back as much as possible. But I can't stop feeling as though I haven't looked after her properly. She was so perfect when she was born and now she has a wonky head and it's all my fault.

I guess, AIBU to feel Iike this? Any suggestions on how I can move past it?

Also, I only found out about those pillows a week or so ago. I was thinking I should get one but I'm not sure how safe they are once the baby starts rolling around more?

"Flat head syndrome" ... nonsense invented to prey on the worries of anxious parents (of PFBs)

Back to sleep has been the rule for yonks now (first generation of babies turns 25 this year...) and have you EVER seen an adult with a flat head???

My husband has this and you literally cannot notice at all. He is 30, in a professional job (so sensible haircut) and I'm the only one who notices as I feel the back of his head.

It's fine :)

Same as DSsHead's son really.

My 17yr old was actually born with a flat head on one side. He had so much hair (midwives commented that he looked like Rod Stewart ) that it wasn't picked up by the paed who checked him over before leaving hospital.

I mentioned it at his check ups, and kept getting told it was the position he was sleeping in and that it would improve if I put him to sleep on his other side.

When I kept telling them he was born like that, they just didn't seem to listen (or believe me).

Anyway, no-one mentioned helmets and I didn't even know they existed.

But it's not caused him any problems and his thick hair covers it.

The only slight problem he had as a kid, was he found it hard to get a helmet to fit him, if he had a donkey or go-kart ride at the fair.

have you EVER seen an adult with a flat head???

Yes, some adults do. It is a thing. DP's head is quite flat at the back. Not like ruler straight, but it is definitely flat.
It's one of those things you won't really notice unless you're thinking about it.

One of my DC had this and I worried but you really cannot tell once they are older.

I have a different take on this. My DC was breech and due to the way he grew in the womb, consequently had torticollis. This then led to plagiocephaly, which, if left untreated, can lead to various jaw deformities, teeth not being aligned, difficulties wearing glasses as ears don't line up and so on. I'm quite surprised at the number of posters dismissing much medical research which makes this quite clear. We went for a helmet and DS's head shape has vastly improved. I'm glad we did.

My son had a really bad flat head and we went the helmet route. It only took 2 months because he was so young when he started (4 months old) and really didn't bother him at all

Why do you blame yourself? It's nothing you did except follow the guidelines and put the baby to sleep on his back.

My son got a flat head but his twin sister didn't at all, despite being treated exactly the same. I think it's because my son was always a deep sleeper and slept in the same position all night whereas his twin tossed and turned, plus his head is bigger and heavier

I know a little boy with a very acute flat head. It was shocking as a baby, never treated and is still visible now. It's not as bad, though, but you can still see it despite the way his hair is styled.

It really depends on how bad your dc's is. Get an honest RL opinion from someone you trust. You can go the helmet route if you can afford it. But there is an age limit.

Dd had a really flat and funny shaped head, 18 years ago it was just how it was and you were told it was normal, you never saw a helmet.
Now she has a perfectly normal head and lots of hair. Out of all the adults I know I have never heard of one who is having problems as a result of having a flat head as a baby, that makes me wonder about the expensive treatments they offer now and if they are really relevant.

Sometimes it is genetic. I went on holiday to Turkey many years ago and many Turkish people have flat heads at the back. And they put their babies to sleep on their fronts, so it's not the sleeping position, just how they are.

From my reading at the time, the child's head does round out in the vast majority of children. However, there are a few cases where it doesn't resolve itself and its too late to do anything about it at that point. A family friends daughter is now 6 and still has quite a flat spot, but luckily is able to style her hair in such a way as to disguise it (that would obviously be a lot more difficult for boys). The main thing to remember is that it's cosmetic only so not getting a helmet won't physically harm the child x

OP I am an adult and I have flat head. Mum said when I was born doctor commented on my perfect shaped skull. Sorry but I find this a funny thing to say
Anyhow I dont know what happened after that my head as I have always known it is flat. Kind of 90 degrees with the top.
I hate it (particularly since I grew up with friends and getting a Rachel's do was impossible)

This is made worse because I have very little hair.

But. So what?!!! Was it mum and dad's fault? Could it have been prevented?
Well I think that parenting involves so many different choices and accidents and decisions that a) you will never know if you could have prevented it
B) it wont make a difference to your DC's life. Honestly, this wasnt a thing 30 years ago and it is not a thing now, just another anxiety feeder for mums and dads