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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop throwing the balls back over the fence?

453 replies

Danielsss · 26/08/2016 00:41

Those bloody balls. The kids next door constantly play ball games, the balls always go over our fence! We would always get a knock on the door, every 2 minutes. I ended up saying if just throw it back over, it's still as frequent!!! How do I stop this? HmmConfused

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 27/08/2016 10:43

My elderly mum used to get fed up of this so she stopped....and told the utterly lovely 4 and 6 year old boys next door to come out their front door, across her drive (no car), in the back gate and collect it themselves. So they did, for approx 4 years. I often found her sat out there chatting to them as they tucked into squash and biscuits!!

JacquesHammer · 27/08/2016 10:54

The OP needs to get a gate.
Or she needs to accept that knocking is done out of politeness

I'm sorry but that's bonkers. The OP either needs to put in a gate at personal expense or be willing to accept people knocking repeatedly to get footballs back?!

I wouldn't be doing either. I would simply say - equally politely - that I hadn't the time to throw it back every time but at the end of each day I would collect them up and return them. It will soon stop when they run out of balls to play with

headinhands · 27/08/2016 11:03

OP they shouldn't be knocking that much. Have a friendly chat with the parents and explain about the frequency of knocking and that they don't need to as you'll pop the balls back over next time you go into your garden.

I think it's one of this things where neighbours with different life styles can bump and scrape. Luckily mine have kids too so it's all equal. We even have water-fights over the fence wth the family on the right. They were fun until the parents went out and bought their kids water pistols that were better than ours

MinonsMovie · 27/08/2016 13:03

Meh, I'd say yanbu. But I'd probably faint if my neighbourhood kids had manners so I think you should know it could be a lot worse too.

Thinkingblonde · 27/08/2016 14:11

My daughter and son in law moved to a house on a corner, it had been empty for a year or so and while it was empty. The local kids (aged from 7 to fourteen) had taken to using the back garden as a 'hang out place', letting themselves in via the gate, They played football, played music and we are sure there was underage drinking and smoking going on to by the older ones. The parents of these kids did nothing to stop them doing this.

Two days after moving in my daughter came home from work to find a dozen kids having a riot of a time in her garden, they'd taken over the lawn, the garden furniture and the shed, she thought the shed was on fire by the amount of smoke coming from it...three of the little 'darlings' were in there puffing away on ciggies. She told them to clear off...nicely...the did eventually after some grumbling "But we always play in here, our parents don't mind, they know where we are".

My daughter thought that was and end to it, but no, they kept coming back, every time they were out at work. My daughter put a padlock on the gate, the kids then began to play football in the street and of course the ball was booted over into the garden, which meant they climbed over the fence. Or they'd boot the ball against the fence deliberately, this went on for weeks until my daughter lost her shit one day and screamed at them, she threatened to call the police and report them for trespass. She also refused to return balls unless their parents called to collect them, this didn't go down too well... One parent knocked, expecting a row but DD was very polite and returned the ball with a smile and he walked off saying 'I thought you said she was scary' to his son, Some of the parents were most put out that their free playground had had time called on it. DD asked if they'd like her and her D,H. to just walk into their houses and plonk themselves down on the sofa to watch Corrie All is quiet now two years later.

WeDoNotSow · 27/08/2016 14:15

Are people really busting children's footballs?

Absolutely pathetic

iloveberries · 27/08/2016 14:26

You miserable fuckers. I am Shock at some of the responses here.

Kids are playing...

Chuck the balls back when you can.
Ask the parents to not let them knock but say you'll throw the balls back. Or find a way they can get access to your garden to get the balls safely and easily. Perhaps they could text you first to get your permission to do this.

iloveberries · 27/08/2016 14:38

@ franciscrawford

A little girl knocked on your door to ask for her ball and you told her you wouldn't get it for her? I hope you got it after your meal. Good lord the elderly people today are getting more and more bloody rude and mean!

HenDogismylife · 27/08/2016 14:44

The kids next door to me never knock they just wait for me to throw the balls back once I find them if they go into the back. The only time I've had an issue was when I was in bed (pre night shift approx 7pm) and the ball went into a bush in my front garden, instead of just getting it the mother stood next to it ringing the doorbell and hammering on the door until I went downstairs. I really didn't get the logic there.

FrancisCrawford · 27/08/2016 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dalmatianmad · 27/08/2016 15:00

What is bloody wrong with folk saying damage them/keep them? ?
They're kids ffs, just throw them back over regardless of how annoying it is!

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs · 27/08/2016 15:07

Do you seriously expect the OP to throw the ball back every few minutes though, Dalmatian?

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 27/08/2016 15:17

Oh dear, there are some right miserable fuckers aren't there.

I bet you actually get your kicks out of popping a child's ball/ deliberately not giving it back or watching your dog chew it up. You must do.

littleprincesssara · 27/08/2016 15:17

I'm hardly ever at home.

Kids chucking balls into my garden would have a hell of a long wait to get them back. Not intentionally, but simply through the practical realities.

It's insane to expect someone to be running errands for someone else's kids all day long, most people who are at home all day either work from home, are looking after kids (which is work) or are disabled/sick.

Math, if someone has a newborn baby and is breastfeeding would you say they are being unreasonable for not wanting to put the baby down every half an hour to go running around after neighbour kids?

happypoobum · 27/08/2016 15:28

Every two minutes sounds really excessive to me so YANBU.

Just tell them you won't answer the door to them during the day any more, and will be throwing the balls back over once a day.

Then follow through - don't answer the door.

tooyoungtobeagrandma · 27/08/2016 15:50

My NDNs are great, younger than me so they put up with my children now I put up with theirs. Their son goes a bit mad banging the football against a wall at the end of their garden but he seems to have an inexhaustible supply of footballs so I just throw them back when I find them. However, being nearly retired, my garden is more to me now than just a kids playground, it has expensive plants and silly ornaments in it that mean something to me, so I would be upset if things got broken. I don't think its unreasonable to expect kids to TRY to keep the balls in their side, they are learning about living with other people in society.

Thinkingblonde · 27/08/2016 16:26

I didn't pop a ball on purpose, was it my fault it got run over by a passing bus after I'd booted it down the road after the kid next door knocked the cowling off our boiler flue, causing £250.00 of damage. He used to use his parents garage door as target practice, he'd often miss his target but hit our kitchen window instead, How he didn't put the window through is a mystery to me. One memorable day he missed both target and our window but the ball went right between the gap between our house and his, I heard a bang, ran out to see what had happened to see him and his mates running in all directions, and there was the boiler flue, in pieces in the garden. Boiler was out of action, no hot water or heating for five days. The kids dad said he'd pay for the damage, he was gutted when we got quoted 250.00. W told him if he found a cheaper quote we'd go with that but his plumber mate told him we were being fair and he paid up.

JacquesHammer · 27/08/2016 16:45

was it my fault it got run over by a passing bus after I'd booted it down the road

That's brilliant Grin

WeAllHaveWings · 27/08/2016 16:57

Tell the kids they can knock once a day, after that either their parents need to knock so you can have a chat about it, or they need to wait until you spot them, then you'll throw them back.

ds has about 10 footballs outside for this very reason, the ndn doesn't get annoyed throwing multiple balls back over and we don't get annoyed at the weekend when their teenagers wake us at 3am coming home from parties.

Doggity · 27/08/2016 17:41

I wouldn't bust a ball or not give it back but some of you entitled mummies seem to think people sit in gardens just waiting to chuck your kid's ball back. Hmm

My son kicks a ball around but manages to avoid it going over one side of our fence which is into building site and cannot be accessed at all. Funny that! Wink Our neighbours on the other side are lovely and will chuck it back over but I don't expect them to do it all the time nor would I allow my child to disturb them and ask. Well, I would let them him ask but maybe once a day. Knocking all the time is really rude and annoying.

PersianCatLady · 27/08/2016 18:20

I've spent over 20 years growing my garden. I have many mature but delicate plants
You sound like my NDN who we joke has probably given each and every one of her plants a name.

I admit they look nice and she is trying to install into me a love of plants.

While I can honestly say that I don't think I will ever care about plants as much as she does I can see the joy and happiness that her garden brings her.

Therefore when kids throw things into her garden and snap stems and things it does make me quite angry that people have the attitude of them "only being plants".

Especially as some of these plants she remembers buying years ago and having moved them with her from house to house.

Vvlgari · 27/08/2016 21:52

They're kids ffs, just throw them back over regardless of how annoying it is!

Don't be ridiculous. I throw them back when I'm home and I'm ready. If I was at home and they were coming over every two minutes then I would not be jumping up every two minute to throw them back.

Truffle87 · 27/08/2016 21:56

When I was little my friends and I used to be guilty of this. One day we knocked and the lady said "not today girls, sorry' and shut the door. We were a hit bewildered but never lost a ball in her garden again!

Truffle87 · 27/08/2016 21:57

Bit not hit.

Bloopbleep · 27/08/2016 22:02

Our neighbour over the back's son fires his nerf at my dog so I keep them. I used to return them until I realised he was aiming at my dog deliberately. I did tell him to stop but he didn't. Well his bloody parents can pay to reload his gun. My oh & I have now bought our own nerfs and have great fun with his many refill packs. If he comes over to ask for them He can have them back but I doubt he will.

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