Why does the mum most likely get custody?

[drac]

I know it's looked at on a case to case basis and if being with the father is better for the child, it will happen. However, if they're both in the same boat, why does the mum tend to get it?

Ds sleeps at my house 2-3 nights a week, and at exh's 4-5 nights.

This is mainly due to the fact that exh practically lives in the grounds of ds's school, and I live much further away.

I dont just see ds 2 or 3 days a week, I see him between 4 and 6 times a week, but all other people see is a harlot who doesnt have her child with her all the time.

It works for us. Ds has a brilliant relationship both with me and his dad. On his days with his dad he gets to be the only child, and have some peace and quiet, and with me he is one of 4 as we often have the DSC here and ds loves them very much. He is flourishing in this set up.

One day it may change, as I do miss ds very much and ideally he would be with me more, but for now its working. The amount of raised eyebrows I get is crazy though.

NickiFury Thanks, it's indeed the elephant in the room!

There are very real differences when it comes to female and male biology and historically - and in many places across the globe, currently - women have been second class citizens, afforded less rights and are effectively owned by men.

When people think about Gender Equality (or any kind of Equality). They assume this means people level with each other.

In reality this is impossible. Men cannot level with women in parenting as they do not have wombs. That does not mean they can't be equally good care givers or nurturers - or better, it means it is, and will be considerably more likely that a woman will be doing the bulk of this.

Equality is about freedom of oppression and having access to what you and those who share your characteristics need. It's not about being the same.

Re men in family court:

The family courts will and do frequently entertain abusive men who on occasions get custody of children simply because they have the resources to do so. In my local area women in family court are treated appallingly. The role of mother and unique bond between mother and child has no platform in the family court unless a solicitor brings it to the table.
Assuming she can afford one.

Four, I'm in a not dissimilar situation. Nobody has said it to my face, but I know I am judged.