To want my toddler to show his true colours at nursery?

[noshthis]

He is a little terror when at home with me and the baby. Constant tantrums and whining. Yet at nursery he is an angel.

Is it terribly bad that I wish he was a shit with them and I got the good kid!?!?

Agree with insan. Wait until a teacher complains about your ds and he is fine at home. Nothing you can do as you're not there. You'll feel like saying look do what you like at home but bloody shut up in school l can't have that phonecall one more time. My ds went through a phase of this at 14. No bother at home. Complete idiot in school. When the number came up my hand started to shake.

"You throw your sh*t where you throw your love"
It's a compliment. We just have to live with it! x

Don't have this problem (don't hate me) but I don't take any rubbish behaviour and for tantrums I blank him completely. No bad behaviour gets attention. He's nearly three and been in nursery since he was 8 months old. Total dream at home and out. Goes to library and knows all librarians names and apparently hes the highlight of their week. Not entirely sure this is normal. Although I'd be interested to know how it changes for more than one child?

Very pleased for you one, but. We can't all be super nanny.

Oneisenough after having two I'm convinced it's nature rather than nurture making most (not all) of the decisions. My two are so different and I know the baby will be a completely different toddler than the toddler now. I've tried all sorts with the tantrums. They are better definitely. I do the same ignore them but he still pulls them. Not so much full blown ones these days but constant whining and crying to try to get what he wants. It's so irritating!

Very true. But I don't have two or I'd be out numbered. Not my plan for parenthood. Nothing super nanny about ignoring a tantrum. It's easier than trying to reasons with a irrational emotional snotty mess frankly. There's no reasoning with them so why try?

I also ignore tantrums - I don't react to them, I don't ever give in, but I don't ignore him completely - I just carry on with what I was doing and talk to him like nothing is happening. If he comes over to me for a cuddle i cuddle him. He still throws them though, a couple a day maybe, he's been at it for over 6 months and I don't imagine he'll stop doing it any time soon. In my eyes it's pushing boundaries and expressing/learning to deal with frustration. I think some kids just naturally do it more than others, no matter how you deal with it. They grow out of it don't they?!

Down - they do eventually grow out of them. I've heard or maybe I am hoping for is that mine grows out of them early. He was early to start them. Around 1 yo!

Down You're right some children just do have them more than others. DS1 is 10 and has always been a tantrummer. Still is occasionally, and I've never given in or paid them any attention or 'fed' it in any way. Just personality and temperament.

All kids are better behaved for people other than their parents. They eat better, sleep better, behave better and communicate better. It's not fair, is it?

whooo exactly, it's different temperaments IMO.
My DS is very wilful and headstrong and dare I say it, a bit dramatic like me if he's excited it's screeching, crying with laughter jumping up and down excited. If he's cross he's very cross.
In contrast my friends DD is the most laid back kid and nothing really fazes her. You could snatch an ice cream out of her hand and she would just shrug her shoulders and find a toy to play with. She does have her moments like all toddlers but generally she seems to have more patience and is quieter than DS. Her mum is very similar with her as I am with DS.

I think most of it is down to nature rather than nurture. Dd1 who is now 23 has been good all her life. I remember her one tantrum that consisted of her stamping her foot twice and is often referred to as "the day dd stamped her foot" We breezed through toddler years and teen years without a ripple and she's a lovely adult now.
Ds2 similarly was an easy toddler and tween and then he got to secondary, discovered that he had the ability to wind his teachers up to the point where they'd shout, swear or burst into tears and he delighted in it and practised his skill daily to perfection.I spent half my days either in school or on the phone to school. I didn't recognise the child they described because he was still a delight at home, they couldn't believe that the child who was determined to raise merry hell in school was polite and respectful towards me always and would modify his attitude to teachers with only a raised eyebrow from me.When he decided to stop he stopped and reverted to being the person he once had been where none of the many punishments had had any effect whatsoever.

It was my understanding that kids who behave well outside but are little shits at home are like that as they feel safe and secure at home

It was my understanding that kids who behave well outside but are little shits at home are like that as they feel safe and secure at home

I've been told this too, and I'm doing my best to keep it in mind today - both DC are being horrendous!

Its a parent thing, my DD has never had a tantrum or strop with anyone other than me or DH. I sometimes think that they are describing a different child!

I've worked in few nurseries..We try to give parents the positives..it isn't nice hearing that your child had 'misbehaved' again but we are also honest..We also try to work on negatives and word things nicely..and yes kids are soooo different at nursery..my kids have always eaten better than at home..and the staff are suprised when told how the kids behave at home ..I have seen both sides..as parent and staff.

DD will only eat sausages, mash, potatoes and cabbage at nursery but not at home.