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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think lying about the window being locked was out of order

77 replies

maggiethemagpie · 23/08/2016 21:26

Went to stay with friends for the weekend. Their sofa was pushed against the window in the living room, looked out on a bus route. My kids (5 and 2) were climbing on to the windowsill from the sofa, friends were fine with this.

There were two big, openable (but closed) , windows that looked out on to the drive below. About a 12 foot fall onto hard concrete. I immediately identified it as a hazard and asked if it was safe.

Friend's DH said he could lock the windows. He got the key and locked one, so I assumed the other was locked.

Kids continued to play on the windowsill all evening and the next morning I thought I'd just check the windows were definitely locked, and the one that he hadn't locked in front of me was open. There is no chance the window could have been locked then opened as we were staying in the living room overnight.

AIBU to think that playing with my kids safety in this way is totally out of order? I've no idea why he didn't lock the second window or even check it but it seems careless and thoughtless. I haven't said anything, but don't want to stay with them again.

OP posts:

UnGoogleable · 23/08/2016 22:26

Let's think this through.

You're suggesting that he knew the window was unlocked, knew your children would climb on it, knew that you were concerned about their safety - then decided that he would pretend it was locked when he knew it wasn't really ... just to see what might happen? Just for a laugh? Because he secretly wanted your kids to fall out of it?

Why would he do this?

He wouldn't. It's ridiculous. He thought the window was locked. Get a grip.

Oh and 'It's not Rocket Salad' is my new favourite phrase!!!

Floggingmolly · 23/08/2016 22:27

She'd been reassured that it was safe, cherry...

WorraLiberty · 23/08/2016 22:29

Anyone else waiting for the thread...

"AIBU to think my friend should stop her DC from climbing all over my sofa and windowsill, when they're staying in my home?"

Followed by...

"Yes I know she asked if I was ok with it, but I don't like confrontation, so felt I had to agree"...

MammaTJ · 23/08/2016 22:30

I think you should stay at home forever more, or until your DCs are at least 16.

rainbowunicorn · 23/08/2016 22:31

Your poor host was probably just trying to be polite with regards to your children climbing all over their furniture and window sills. I can not begin to imagine letting my children behave in such a way at a friends house. They do not climb on the furniture at home either. I have never had a friend or relative who thinks it is OK to allow a child to climb on peoples furniture.
I think you were very rude to not stop them and if I were your host you would not be invited back.

FairNotFair · 23/08/2016 22:34

MN is weird at the moment

bakeoffcake · 23/08/2016 22:44

Unless the man is a nasty person whose known for deliberately leaving children in danger, I'd assume he'd made a mistake.

Why would you assume he was being nasty?

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 23/08/2016 22:45

Another vote for not being a wise idea to let your kids climb on windowsills.

What if they'd slipped and gone through the window?

FrancisCrawford · 23/08/2016 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadHattersWineParty · 23/08/2016 22:55

I mean, safety concerns aside, it's bloody rude and lazy parenting to allow your kids to clamber on furnishings in other people's houses. I bet the hosts weren't 'fine with it' at all.

Blondieblondie · 23/08/2016 22:56

Best not to ever let the children out of your sight in anyone's home since they are now of the understanding that it's fine to climb on windowsills.

serin · 23/08/2016 23:06

Windowsills are hazards you bloody numpty.

I was at a student party in the early 90's and a man sat on a windowsill leaned back, the single glazed pane of glass shattered and he bled to death on the pavement outside.

RoughMagic · 23/08/2016 23:13

It's a bit odd that your immediate reaction is that he lied to you OP. I mean, you really think that he was fully aware that it was unlocked and decided not to tell you because he's a twat and careless of your DCs safety? Don't you think it's more likely that it was an oversight or he made a mistake?

It was not a good idea to encourage playing on a windowsill in any case. They are intrinsically hazardous and children should not be playing on them.

BurstBees · 23/08/2016 23:17

Ha. I immediately identified it as a hazard

...but let them climb on the windowsills anyway. I don't think you need to worry about further invitations to stay!

NeedAnotherGlass · 23/08/2016 23:44

It is a bizarre leap to make to assume that he lied to you.
What on earth makes you think that he would do that?
It seems pretty obvious that it was an oversight.

Justbeingnosey123 · 23/08/2016 23:57

You don't want to stay again, I can't see them wanting you to stay again and no one was hurt win win if you ask me. In future if your ever wondering, kids playing on window sills isn't safe even if it's ground floor even if the Windows are locked.

greynunu · 24/08/2016 09:02

OP it was an oversight on his part, not intentional. Do you honestly think he thought "mwah hah hah, I'm only going to pretend to lock this window and see what carnage ensues"? No one would think like that.

Your children's safety (not to mention manners while at other people's houses) is ultimately your responsibility. I suspect you know this and your guilt at assuming both windows were locked and not checking until the morning is fueling the bizarre accusation of intentional lying on your friend's part.

hollyisalovelyname · 24/08/2016 09:17

As the hosts cleaned the window after Maggiethemagpie and children left, they agreed, through gritted teeth that they couldn't wouldn't invite her back.

SusanneLinder · 24/08/2016 09:22

Why for the love of all things holy were you allowing a 5 year old and 2 year old to climb on someone's sofa? .
Your friend's DH was obviously very polite. I'd have told you to stop your kids doing that immediately. You would have been my guest from hell, allowing your kids to behave like that.
It's YOUR responsibility to look after your kids.
Is this post serious...

WhatamessIgotinto · 24/08/2016 09:49

Is this a reverse?

Firstly, allowing your children to clamber over someone else's window sills is ridiculous. You say they were 'fine' with it - really? Are you sure they were, or were they just trying to be polite?

Secondly, he was not 'playing with your kid's safety' as you so dramatically proclaim, it was clearly an oversight or he genuinely thought it was already locked and up to YOU to check that the windows were locked. I would always have checked that in your situation as I wouldn't have played with my kids safety like that.
And perhaps you need to think about how you allow your children to play in other peoples' homes.

londonrach · 24/08/2016 09:50

I vote reverse as its the hosts as no sensible mother would this this was right!!! (Or made up)

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 24/08/2016 09:57

Playing with your kids" safety? When you aren't bothered about them climbing onto windowsills and don't bother checking the windows yourself?
Take some responsibility and teach your children to respect other people's property.

I had a friend whose 2 boys proceeded to treat my sofa like a trampoline. Apply they do it at home. I was such a wuss I said it was ok but never invited them back

WhooooAmI24601 · 24/08/2016 10:16

I agree that your focus should be teaching your DCs not to play in windows/on windowsills. DS2 is 5 and had a bit of a mountain-goat phase a while back where he loved climbing onto windows. I bought those chain locks so that all the upstairs windows would only open a few inches to prevent him falling out, but also got pretty cross and taught him not to climb up. It's hard to keep children from doing what they want to do but, really, windows are a hazard they need to learn about from a young age.

YelloDraw · 24/08/2016 10:35

Your kids were climbing on window sills in someone else house? YABtotallyU. Get a grip of your kids, other peoples houses are not climbing frames.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 24/08/2016 10:58

Not rocket salad is my new favourite thing to say.

He was probably fucked off about your kids climbing on everything.

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