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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think lying about the window being locked was out of order

77 replies

maggiethemagpie · 23/08/2016 21:26

Went to stay with friends for the weekend. Their sofa was pushed against the window in the living room, looked out on a bus route. My kids (5 and 2) were climbing on to the windowsill from the sofa, friends were fine with this.

There were two big, openable (but closed) , windows that looked out on to the drive below. About a 12 foot fall onto hard concrete. I immediately identified it as a hazard and asked if it was safe.

Friend's DH said he could lock the windows. He got the key and locked one, so I assumed the other was locked.

Kids continued to play on the windowsill all evening and the next morning I thought I'd just check the windows were definitely locked, and the one that he hadn't locked in front of me was open. There is no chance the window could have been locked then opened as we were staying in the living room overnight.

AIBU to think that playing with my kids safety in this way is totally out of order? I've no idea why he didn't lock the second window or even check it but it seems careless and thoughtless. I haven't said anything, but don't want to stay with them again.

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 23/08/2016 22:01

Rocket salad. ConfusedGrin. Oops naughty auto correct
Agree though op. Your children should not have been climbing on widow sills. Do they do that in your home.

PovertyPain · 23/08/2016 22:02

Seriously! Do you think the man thought, "you know what? I think I'll leave that window open, just for shits and giggles. With a bit of luck the kids won't fall out, and if they do, Meh."

Stop making other people responsible for YOUR children. Teach them to be mannerly enough not to climb over the furniture and windowsill. I have visions of someone posting about having friends to stay, that permitted their children to climb over the furniture, but they didn't want them to feel unwelcome but said nothing.

Masketti · 23/08/2016 22:02

Seriously? You're letting your kids climb all over the sofa and windowsill and it's your friend you're pissed off with for only locking 1 of the 2 windows? Get a grip! My 3.5 year old and 1 year old aren't allowed to climb all over our sofa which is pushed up against the windowsill because I parent them so they behave and I'd be watching them like a hawk making them on their best behaviour in a friend's house. Your kids, your responsibility. You could have checked they were both locked at the same time. Don't pass the blame onto your friend. You bring it up and they won't want you staying at theirs never mind you refusing to stay there.

FurkinA · 23/08/2016 22:03

Why would she check the locks? Would you be offended if someone went and checked the locks after you had said you locked them?

Anyway op I suspect it was an accident as otherwise what has he got to gain?

gillybeanz · 23/08/2016 22:05

This happened exactly the same to another poster, I can remember the thread, even the dh lying.
iirc they all fell out, the OP sent a text or the other mum did either complaining about or apologising for the dh.
I'm sure it was the OP, who sent the text to friend, now I think about it.

Crunchymum · 23/08/2016 22:06

My 19mo is a window sill climber.

My 3.8yo is not.

Seriously we have very low sills at home but have juliet balconies so maybe we are a bit lax. We would never allow our toddler on anyone else's sills and we obviously discourage it at home.

sniggy01 · 23/08/2016 22:06

I'm guessing he thought the other window was locked already otherwise he would have locked it.
Letting children play on window sills is like playing russian roulette - did you check the thickness off the glass and if it was safety glass as it was more likely they'd fall through it than open the window and then fall out. Why weren't you supervising them to make sure none of this was happening?

greathat · 23/08/2016 22:09

Window sill = not for playing. Easy

MadHattersWineParty · 23/08/2016 22:10

Why the hell are the kids allowed to play on windowsills?

Great idea OP Confused

PersianCatLady · 23/08/2016 22:11

the next morning I thought I'd just check the windows were definitely locked
If you were that worried why didn't you check sooner?

If you had found it to be unlocked then you could have said "hey you missed this one" in a friendly manner and then it would have been done.

Also do you think it is really acceptable for your kids to be climbing all over other people's furniture?

Palomb · 23/08/2016 22:11

Your children = your responsibility.

JenLindley · 23/08/2016 22:11

iirc they all fell out

Of the window? Shock Grin

I remember that thread too!

hollyisalovelyname · 23/08/2016 22:13

I'm glad you weren't visiting me - letting your children climb onto my sofa and then onto a window sill at a window with a 12 foot drop.
What were you thinking OP ?
You may not be invited back Smile

Floggingmolly · 23/08/2016 22:13

You did not take responsibility for your children. If you hadn't allowed them to climb from the back of the sofa onto the windowsill, it wouldn't have mattered whether the window was locked or not.
You seriously watched them do this and asked your hosts if it was "safe"?
I hope you're not entertaining any notion of being invited back... you might be in for a letdown.

DoreenLethal · 23/08/2016 22:13

it's not rocket salad

That's fab. I shall be using that all day tomorrow.

But no OP it is not on to lie to you.

CafeCremeMerci · 23/08/2016 22:14

Anyone who lets their kids play on a windowsill has NO right to complain about someone else 'playing with their kids safety'

I know a girl who is now 22, she has severe brain damage, when she was 1 her parents let her stand on the windowsill, the entire pane of glass came out of the frame & she landed on it, a flor down, on a concrete drive - sustaining life threatening injuries, she then spent two years on hospital (first year continuous, 2nd year on & off) then having skin grafts for years. She won't ever live independently, she can't speak, walk, eat by herself, go to the toilet - pretty much anything.

Granted it's not something you hear about often, but it does happen.

Masketti · 23/08/2016 22:15

Grin LOVE it's not rocket salad!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/08/2016 22:16

Do you always use such emotive language when talking about people?

Perhaps rethink that, it's nasty and rethink how you allow your children to behave in other peoples houses

nennyrainbow · 23/08/2016 22:18

And he didn't even lie. You said you assumed he had locked the window. Maybe he didn't have a key to that one. Maybe he thought it was already locked. But you didn't think to ask him. And then you not only allow your kids to climb all over their furniture and windowsills ( of course they say it's fine, that's what polite hosts do) but you then try to accuse him of lying about it. Some houseguest.

gillybeanz · 23/08/2016 22:20

I love rocket salad. It's got a peppery flavour.

iirc the other thread OP sent other mum a text with doubts about her dh, it kicked off, they fell out. Was a bit of anti climax tbh.
The responses were the same, this thread reads like groundhog day wrt same responses.

SeparatedByMotorways · 23/08/2016 22:22

As a child I wasn't allowed to lean against the (quite low) windowsills just in case the glass broke and I went tumbling to the ground. I'm with all the pp who are wondering why you let your DC casually climb all over the windowsills in the first place.

ReginaBlitz · 23/08/2016 22:22

Your kids shouldn't have been playing on a windowsill! Especially in someone else's home that's just rude.

Floggingmolly · 23/08/2016 22:24

Do you have windows in your house, op? I'm trying to fathom what on earth was so fascinating about a windowsill that your children should play on it all evening? that you let them is complete lunacy; that goes without saying

cherryplumbanana · 23/08/2016 22:25

You leave your kids climb from a sofa on a windowsill with risk of about a 12 foot fall onto hard concrete?

Are you insane? or is that a reverse?

BlueFolly · 23/08/2016 22:26

YABU

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