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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'A baby boy...you'll have your work cut out!!'

79 replies

Cosycottage4 · 23/08/2016 18:59

I'm expecting DC2 in a few weeks time, I already have a DD(2) and am excited to be having a little boy this time.

However, pretty much anyone who asks the sex of the baby replies with some variation on the thread title. I largely brush it off, but it's starting to make me slightly nervous, esp as DD has always been quite 'easy' (relatively speaking).

AIBU to think (hope) that not all boys will be more difficult than girls? Or am I being hopelessly naive?!

OP posts:
Yorkieheaven · 23/08/2016 20:12

Ha ha op don't people talk crap!

I have 2 grown up boys and 2 teen girls.

what really pissed my off once was a woman who proceeded to tell me in front of teen boys and toddler dds that boys are more loving without missing w beat my oldest son the 16 said wow that's strange as the girls love us lots. How sad for you Grin

Kids are what they are.

I found 'boys' parties tended to be football, soft play etc whilst the ones the girls were invited to were 'makeover parties and craft parties. Nothing wrong with that so my girls had a makeover party followed by bouncy castle and footi party.
Boys had craft followed by sports. All enjoyed
They are who they are by personality not genitals

Pineappletastic · 23/08/2016 20:12

I don't know what I'm having (and we don't care). I've been told, by various different people, that boys are; more loving, clingier, more likely to cry when hurt, easier, dirtier, likely to speak later, likely to walk later, likely to walk sooner, more likely to successfully breastfeed, and need fewer clothes.

On both sides of our family the firstborn was a 'good' baby, slept through the night, fed well, could be passed around, slept wherever, and the second born was a 'demon child', screamed and screamed and fussed and was a nightmare. My family was Girl then Boy, OH's family was the other way around.

I refuse to believe that your genitals impact your behaviour as a baby (I also refuse to believe that the babies genitals impact the shape of my bump, how sick I am, or any of that other pregnancy stuff either).

I do think that if you go in with certain expectations you're more likely to get certain results. If you tell your girl off for playing in the mud but not your boy, because she'll ruin her princess dress, then you get what you expected.

sleepy16 · 23/08/2016 20:30

I have 3 of each and all of them are completely different.
I do find though that boys (or just mine) seem to be very hypo.
My middle dd is very Tom boyish and my eldest ds is very feminine.
My youngest dd (7 months) hardly sleeps, but my youngest ds (22 months) slept all night at 6 months no trouble.
So it's a combo of genetics,environment and there personality and very little as a baby\toddler there sex.

ShelaghTurner · 23/08/2016 20:33

Haven't read thread yet, laughing too much. The person who said this can gladly have my two little buggers girls if she thinks they're easier than boys.

Diddlydokey · 23/08/2016 20:37

I'd have another if I could guarantee an easy girl. Another boy?! One is enough. Amazing and wonderful, yes - but a handful

SleepFreeZone · 23/08/2016 20:39

Two boys here and it is a nightmare.

dustarr73 · 23/08/2016 20:42

I have 5 boys.They do go full pelt all day long.

And to the poster who said about "dont hurt the little girl" "be gentle".I find a lot of that comes from the girls parents,they have these ideas that the boys dont play nice.Which isnt true at all.

I find the girls are rougher when the 2 sexes are mixed,the boys are much more refined.

My youngest 3 still bate the shite out of each other though.Brotherly love.Grin

LeonardInTheArgosBag · 23/08/2016 20:49

They're different because they're different people. Bugger all to do with sex, gender or being the first or second child.

Exactly. (Mother of two girls, the first of which was a total whirlwind and garnered many "she gives the boys a run for their money" type comments)

cornishglos · 23/08/2016 21:08

I have a boy and a girl, still small (2 and 1). Here's how they conform to stereotypes, or don't:

Boy - terrible sleeper, very cuddly, crawled at 6.5 months, very active, very loud, talked early and advances vocab, can concentrate on puzzles/ tv well, never cried as a baby. Loves cars, dinosaurs and pink. Outgoing and funloving.

Girl: terrible sleeper, crawled at 7 months, very active, good eater, cries when tired, not cuddly. Loves cars.

TooManyMochas · 23/08/2016 21:15

DS1 (4.5) is very much not a stereotypical 'boy', DS2 (1.5) currently is. They are who they are.

Historygeek · 23/08/2016 21:30

I have two boys and they are wonderful. Both have so far been easy and difficult in their own ways.

People on mn will say that there are no differences between boys and girls but I suspect that there must be given that there are physical and hormonal differences although a lot of it is probably down to stereotypes and our expectations.

Although I doubt either are more hard work.

MLGs · 23/08/2016 21:33

Could they mean you will have your work cut out because you will have a toddler and a baby, rather than specifically that he is a boy?

Cosycottage4 · 23/08/2016 21:34

Thanks so much everyone-some v interesting perspectives there! Sounds like my little boy will be who he will be, because of his personality not because he has a willy Smile

OP posts:
Juanbablo · 23/08/2016 21:37

Children's personalities are different, it's nothing to do with their sex. As it happens my only girl is very laid back and easy, she's the middle child. But she has a stubborn streak. Eldest (boy) can easily be persuaded but pushes the boundaries all the time (he has ADHD). Youngest, also a boy, is very cheeky and stubborn and generally the most wilful of the lot. And he's the cute baby so he gets away with murder!

selsigfach · 23/08/2016 21:38

Perhaps they just meant that you'd have your hands full as you would have a toddler and newborn, regardless of the baby's sex. I know that's what I'd be thinking.

MLGs · 23/08/2016 21:38

FWIW (probably nothing!) I would say that on balance my DS has been easier than DD, but I think I say that purely because he is a good sleeper. He does seem less sensitive and angsty over all, but that could be just him or the fact he is not pfb)

He is harder in the sense that he is heavier and stronger than she was at same age and very difficult to wrestle into car seat/clothes etc (he's 2 1/2, DD is now 7). Also her language was better at the same age so it was easier to reason with/ bribe / otherwise persuade her to do things.

foxessocks · 23/08/2016 21:39

I have a 2.5 yo dd and I'm expecting a boy any day now. I've been getting the same comments and I think it is just something to say. Well my dd is full of energy , she spends her life running about and climbing stuff, she walked early and has always been on the go.

FTM89 · 23/08/2016 21:41

I have 2 boys and a girl. Dc2 and 3'are very similar in personality and they are B G. It's terrifying as I find dc2 such hard work, so energetic, stubborn, defiant and desperate to be independent and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with his sister being the same

AllegraAlmond · 23/08/2016 21:57

Pretty sure people are trying to make polite conversation. What would you rather them say, "oh, ok" Hmm

Yorkieheaven · 23/08/2016 22:17

Oh come on boys are bloody ace!

As are girls.

123therearenomoreusernames · 23/08/2016 22:23

"Girls wreck your head, boys just wreck your house."

House's are a lot easier to restore. Wink

SleepFreeZone · 23/08/2016 22:53

I had this ridiculous notion that I would have a child and we would sit down and read books and do crafting and take walks and bake cupcakes etc 🙄

What I got was DS1 obsessed with 'fixing' everything breaking it. He bolts into traffic without reins, tantrums constantly, wouldn't read a book until he was 3, has the concentration span of a gnat so crafting involves 30 seconds of hurling glue about and trying to draw on the wall. I bought him a dolls house of the instruction of his speech therapist, all he wants to do is through the contents down the steps.

Roll on DS2 who is kamikaze baby no.2. He rolled at 6 weeks, he is crawling at just turned 6 months. He has Velcro hands and nothing stays put, he can tank across the room in 10 seconds. This summer holiday has basically been me running from disaster to disaster on three hours sleep a night.

I have this feeling that if I'd had two girls my life would be calmer.

SleepFreeZone · 23/08/2016 22:54

*throw

gandalf456 · 23/08/2016 22:56

I have one of each. Personally, I find my boy easier than my girl, though he has his moments. There are some respects in which my girl is easier in that she's better behaved in public. My boy is easier at home, however. I think boys get a bit of a hard time, actually.

dietcokeandwine · 23/08/2016 23:24

It's all rubbish op because let's face it all DC will be a handful and challenge us in different ways at different times.

Yes, the stereotypical boy might tend towards being super lively and on the go all the time and be too full on and fearless.

And the stereotypical girl might tend towards the nice quiet craft activities but cause you all manner of other problems and heartaches with social and manipulative friendship type stresses in the future.

Boys can be little horrors. So can girls. Girls can be bloody horrible to each other as they get older. So can boys.

We all have our hands full whether we have boys, girls or a mix.

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