Creepy fucker

[FellOutOfBed2wice]

AIBU to think that maybe the course of true love never did run smooth, but this is creepy fucker territory?

My best friends boss is a well known local "character". Ran a cafe with his first wife for years in the local town- from the time they married in the late sixties until the late ninties. He brought her out after he left her- at the age of 45- for their 23 year old daughters best friend. Cue, local scandal. But I accept that sometimes, love is a mystery and maybe they were in love. They had two kids together and seemed very happy- according to BF, I only know them in passing- for nearly 20 years.

Just heard he's left his "new" wife for one of her nieces!! She's 26.

I'm trying not to be judgemental here but that's grim and not about true love, is it? That's being a dirty old man!!

This is my first time on AIBU but the whole thing has grossed me and my friend out and I just wanted to check I wasn't needing my judgey pants taking off. No problem with age gaps- been out with older men myself and almost 15 years between my parents, so very comfortable with that- just think this is perv territory. What a wrong un!

Yes, the dynamics of this for the wider family must be marvellous.

@rosesarered9 - not sure, its not something I have ever spoken to him about really. He seems to get on with her and everything though. I don't think he classes her as a step-mum really..though I guess technically when they get married next year she will be.

*Release the death-grip on your pearls, stop jumping to conclusions and open your mind a little.

You're welcome*

I am shamed and put in my place by the incisiveness and intelligence of your argument FullTimeYummy.

I have learned my lesson, cheats are good and should beheld up as the standard for all behaviour.

I will creep back into my corner and polish my pearls like a good little ex wifey and hope that one day a wonderful man will come and bestow on me a few years of happiness, while I remain relatively wrinkle free, so I can be truly fulfilled as a person. For a woman without a man to make her happy is a mere husk.

Do give my regards to the 1950's - I haven't seen them for years.

'Damaged goods' ??? I think women stopped being goods well over a century ago - perhaps you consider yourself a possession, in which case a course in boosting your self esteem might be the way to go. Also making a joke out of people's very deep feelings in order to 'wind them up' is rather disturbed behaviour. But your 'quirks' are your problem not mine.

Anyway - I'm bored of this non argument now. Clearly, it goes without saying, you are not my best friend and I'm not inviting you to my birthday party - and we're having cake and jelly and everything. (Unless you bring a present then I might reconsider)

It's Ok arf- after an afternoon swatting wasps in my kitchen, one more makes no difference. But thanks

FulkTimeYummy, you seen to be getting a kick out of 'winding up' another poster. Maybe you should grow up and stop being so nasty

OP, this man sounds foul. Some people break their necks in the rush to avoid 'judging' and to appear too cool for school. Well I'm judging and it's nothing to do with the age differences. If anyone thinks that leaving your wife for her own niece is fine then there's something seriously wrong with your judgement IMO

Good God, FullTimeYummy. What an atrocious thing to say. At least have the decency to apologise.

As for the OP, I don't really think the age differences matter. But the serial infidelity (as it appears) is loathsome.

Fulltimeyummy I too think you owe Kurri an apology.

And op yanbu

Creepy fucker indeed

KurriKurri threw around the personal criticism first, she then escalated it to personal insults.

I started in this thread with a light-hearted comment only for Kurri to wade in and start projecting her bitterness at me.

It's a shame she feels this way and assumes that all other situations must be as regretful as her own.

I do feel bad a bit bad for her and wish her all the best in life.

Reported you FullTimeYummy

And Op, he is a creepy fucker, YANBU.

FullTimeYummy Tue 23-Aug-16 19:59:33

KurriKurri threw around the personal criticism first, she then escalated it to personal insults.

I have just read the thread. Kurrikurri did nothing of the sort. She commented that your remark was glib and unfeeling and she was right. At no point did your remarks come across as lighthearted. Just callous.

Do you really believe women to be damaged goods?

What constitutes 'damaged', divorced? Should we be shy blushing virgins? If we let a boy finger us behind the bike shed are we merely 'shop soiled' or properly damaged?

Can we be refurbished?

Again, Kurri started with the women=commodities narrative

I think the niece is the creepiest but here. So he could have known her since she was sick? Taken her to the park, babysat her? How long has he had designs on her? Did he just wake up one day and think oh, she's all grown up suddenly and we have an amazing connection? Or has he been grooming her for years?

You might want to re read her posts then as I don't believe you understood them

Oh and FullTimeYummy is U.

AHEM

FurkinA

I understood what she said perfectly well. She decided, based on her own experienced, that the man in the OP was trading women in for younger models as if they were a commodity. Maybe he was, we don't know.

I pointed out there may be other explanations, then implied that perhaps she had arrived at that particular conclusion as she felt bitter that she herself had been viewed as a commodity in the past.

I'll try and avoid subtext in future in that helps