To ask how much screentime your 12-13 year olds have?

[VioletBam]

And what time they go to bed? Especially during the week.

My DD is 12 and unfortunately, she seems to be having a very emotional and grumpy journey towards her teens.

She has nice friends etc and doing well at school....but she's SO moody at home. I know it's normal....she's always been "dramatic" about things...so when she was younger, if she got a common cold, it was the END OF THE WORLD and SHE WAS IN AGONY.

That type.

She's lovely when she's lovely but a lot of her time after school is spent pouring scorn on her younger sister and being moody and snappy.

Unless she's allowed to sit on her phone for hours on end which she will do...she watches shows on Netflix mainly.

She won;t join any out of school clubs...she did ballroom till last year but now has lost interest...I've offered her a choice of any club or activity but no...she hates them all.

She occassionally spends some time sewing...she does read...and goes out on Saturdays to meet her mates etc....but is this it?

I've decided this week that during the week, she can only have 2 hours on the phone and has to be off it by 6.00pm. She tends to go to sleep at about ten pm.

Does this sound ok? Normal? What are your rules? I'm hoping that by reducing her screen time she will be a bit more cheerful!

If she were obsessed with good quality films I wouldn't mind but I don't think reality shows for hours are good.

I don't like reality to shows. However you sound like my dh that judges everything Ds watches etc unless he thinks it's 'quality' . Which, imo, is rubbish and I told him to stop it. Every kids likes crap tv, while their parents talk about 'at least TV was better when I was younger'.

It actually really pisses me off when people say 'oh that's so shit' when it's something someone likes. It's a put down.

The rules we have for Dd (12) are

No phone/tv until she is ready for school (don't bother with this in the holidays)

Phone out of her room at bedtime (9.30pm)

All homework must be done on time, but I don't say when she has to do it

No screens at meal times

And she has to spend at least half an hour with us on an evening

When we first got Netflix she spent all her time in her room watching 'crap' . Honestly, I let her. I learnt when she was younger that limiting tv or telling her no 'that's not a quality programme' made her want it more.

She soon got bored and spends most evenings with us. She may have her phone with her, but usually watches to with us or (shock horror) chats with us.

I have never tracked screen time. I make sure they get outside more than they are inside. And that's about it.

And yes I have sat and watched crap with her, because she likes it. I want to show an interest in what she likes wether I think it's shit or not.

Steve Jobs himself limited his kids to half an hour.

Didn't Steve jobs have a daughter he refused to have much to do with?

I don't get why what Steve jobs did matters to everyone else.

My DSS is allowed about 45 mins of Xbox daily provided he has done his music practice and cared for his Pet. If he was interested in tv he'd be allowed some but not too late. Lights off is 9pm at weekends and holidays and 8.30 school nights. Everyone is different and he's one of those kids who need a lot of sleep.
Unrestricted internet/iPod would definitely not work for us. He is 12.

I am also really surprised by how much time PP's DC are spending on screens!
We have DS 14 and DD 12, who both get home from school at about 6.00 after sport/music/clubs. They change and shower, then we sit down for dinner at about 7. They both have an hour and a half of homework plus music practice and head for bed at about 9.30.
They message friends on the bus to/from school, but only watch telly/Netflix/YouTube at the weekends.
We don't deliberately ban screens, it's just that the time isn't there on school nights.

My dd gets home at 4pm and immediately has a snack and drink in front of an episode of Dance Moms while she's on social media. At 5pm she does homework and watches YouTube if there's time left over, eats at about 6pm, irons her shirt for the next day, finishes off any homework she couldn't do earlier, packs her stuff for the next day, showers, reads, gets a hot water bottle (if it's cold) then YouTube until bed at 9:30pm. She gets up at 6:30 for school and never looks tired.

She has to put her phone on do not disturb mode as some kids are up texting until much later.

I just thought I'd update. I have been allowing DD to choose (within reason) when she goes on and off the phone as long as it's off by 10.00 at the latest and as long as she tries to actually DO something too. She's agreed to go to an art club in October so that's great.

She's never been an early sleeper....so if I make her get off the phone at 8.00 or something, she gets annoyed and frustrated. She actually doesn't even stay on it till 10 anyway...she usually begins her nightly, complex beauty routine at about 8. and that takes ages! I think she's happier just knowing she has more autonomy.

So thanks everyone!